Why is alternative living so controversial?

[Nymphs]

Polyamory? Child-free? Vegetarian? Atheist?

What is so wrong with doing something that doesn't affect another person?

What other types of alternative living do you know of?

Tattoos/Piercings/Hair Colors?

 

[atanu]

Because it is new to me (polyamory) and I would like to discuss the subject with people in it's various facets. Polyamory, like other ways of living is not a single-faceted thing. I want to understand, learn from and see what people have to say on the whole subject.

If you don't like it, you don't have to read those threads, but I wasn't aware that making threads on subjects that interest you was against any rules here. :no:

Rest assured that I am not an opposition.

You asked people. And I offered my views. But you instantly see opposition and talk non-sense about rules etc. Why are you so much defensive?

Is having a different view point from yours against the rules then?

 

[CynthiaCypher]

I'm quite secure, and it isn't a belief yet a way of living. I wasn't aware that curiosity about what people think about something was a crime. I could care less what y'all thought of me, I'm curious what you think about the idea -- no matter how inane your opinion is.

Your obsession with creating threads about this topic asking others to explain why they think differently and do not approve speaks otherwise.

But I will give you this: Your nature speaks to you and informs you, just as my nature and spirit speaks and informs me alone. You have your nature, and I have mine. So why not leave it at that?

 

[Nymphs]

Rest assured that I am not an opposition.

You asked people. And I offered my views. But you instantly see opposition and talk non-sense about rules etc. Why are you so much defensive?

Is having a different view point from yours against the rules then?

I'm sorry, I've just had a rash of users say they don't like it and they are never going to talk about it and it really doesn't matter to them following me around and replying constantly. I apologize if I hurt your feelings.

You seem surprised about me making so many threads, I explained. Is that a crime?

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Nymphs, we do not hate you, we just disagree with you. Do you understand that?

 

[Nymphs]

Nymphs, we do not hate you, we just disagree with you. Do you understand that?

Quite clearly. Following me from thread-to-thread of mine makes that very clear, as well as a few other things.

Do you have anything else to say on alternative living? If not, our one-to-one conversation is finished.

 

[atanu]

I'm sorry, I've just had a rash of users say they don't like it and they are never going to talk about it and it really doesn't matter to them following me around and replying constantly. I apologize if I hurt your feelings.

You seem surprised about me making so many threads, I explained. Is that a crime?

Its not a crime. But if I am restless about some issue it may be bad for myself.

I can only say that I am aware of the potential pain in a poly situation. OTOH, being vegetarian can only be good. Deciding to be child free can have no objection from others.

 

[Leftimies]

I don't know where you live, but Atheism and Vegetarianism is not in the slightest controversial in where I live.

But I can tell you this: alternate lifestyles are controversial because they are alternate. For someone who doesn't live alternate lifestyle it is hard to understand why someone else would. It is a very human thing.

I would suggest to nevermind it and seek like-minded people and associate with them.

 

[kashmir]

Nymphs, we do not hate you, we just disagree with you. Do you understand that?

since she refuses to address my points on poly and wish to direct me to post on the other thread says we are not to discuss alternative lifestyles at all.

That means this thread is about attacking everyone who doesn't agree with alternative lifestyles, which concludes that everyone on the planet is guilty of the OP.
No two people lead the exact same lifestyles, even twins have opposing views on things.

 

[Nymphs]

I don't know where you live, but Atheism and Vegetarianism is not in the slightest controversial in where I live.

I lived in Idaho/Utah for a long time, and both of those are quite controversial then, but now I live in the Pacific Northwest, where it isn't as big of a deal.

I would suggest to nevermind it and seek like-minded people and associate with them.

Oh, I do. I'm just curious.

 

[Nymphs]

Deciding to be child free can have no objection from others.

In my experience, I've gotten plenty of objection from other people on my choice to be child-free. You'd be surprised, I was.

 

[Leftimies]

I lived in Idaho/Utah for a long time, and both of those are quite controversial then, but now I live in the Pacific Northwest, where it isn't as big of a deal.



Oh, I do. I'm just curious.

Its weird though, here people look strangely at me for being Buddhist. Not hostile, just kinda "I wonder what is his problem?". And I wouldn't even call Buddhism alternate lifestyle lol. And gosh when they are going to hear that I am adding a score of Shintō philosophy to it, they are going to go nuts.

So its not really even about the alternateness of the lifestyle, even if its common and mainstream but they cannot relate to it, chances are they are going to be lukewarm about it. People have natural preference over familiar things, and I am for one not condemning them for that.

 

[kashmir]

Long ago, I decided I was done with relationships, been hurt too many times.
Not a soul on this planet has ever belittled me over it.

Some have said to give it a chance and there is a female for me out there somewhere.
I don't view that as attacking me, nor do I see it as them saying I am wrong.

If one cant handle criticisms of others, something is wrong, insecurity comes to mind.

 

[Leftimies]

Long ago, I decided I was done with relationships, been hurt too many times.
Not a soul on this planet has ever belittled me over it.

Some have said to give it a chance and there is a female for me out there somewhere.
I don't view that as attacking me, nor do I see it as them saying I am wrong.

If one cant handle criticisms of others, something is wrong, insecurity comes to mind.

Critique is wonderful thing, yes, when it is done right. But critique is an art that not many, including myself, can master well. You can deliver even severely hard points with critique as long as they are constructed in a manner that your opponent can handle without feeling insulted. A well-done critique on the right topic can change someone's life and make a person see his/hers errors. Badly done critique, even if it has truth as basis but is poorly constructed, can fuel those errors and convince the other person that he/she is right.

So it doesn't always mean the other one is insecure, sometimes there is weakness in the critique.

 

[kashmir]

Critique is wonderful thing, yes, when it is done right. But critique is an art that not many, including myself, can master well. You can deliver even severely hard points with critique as long as they are constructed in a manner that your opponent can handle without feeling insulted. A well-done critique on the right topic can change someone's life and make a person see his/hers errors. Badly done critique, even if it has truth as basis but is poorly constructed, can fuel those errors and convince the other person that he/she is right.

So it doesn't always mean the other one is insecure, sometimes there is weakness in the critique.

Its not that simple, because in the end, accepting criticisms is hard, no matter how it is done.

 

[Alceste]

Maybe they just didn't like you for you and not because you just ate vegetables.

Makes sense to me.

Speaking as a person that was literally cordoned off from the other children in an isolated room during meals at a pentecostal camp for the crime of not eating meat, I think it makes much more sense that religious zealots have an irrational animosity to heretics for even the most inconsequential deviant behavior.

 

[Alceste]

Why is it that some here demand everyone else take on their views but refuse to accept the views of everyone that has a different view?
I think people just like to argue.
In every one of these threads, some here continue to argue with me after I left, telling me they are trying to lure me back in.
In the last thread, I said I was done, but someone posted something new that I wished to address and then I left, there is a whole page of some behaving like children trying to lure me back in.
Too funny indeed.
Of course some here just like to argue.

Back to the topic....
It's sort of like George Carlin said:
"live and let live"...."if you disagree with that, we get to take you out back and kill you"

Just because I have a different perspective, means nothing, but some here try to twist it to make it like I want to stop other lifestyles that I disagree with.

What part of I do not have to accept everything in this world and those who claim I do, are the ones wrong, don't people understand?

About the law, if there is ever a law coming into existence to allow others to have multiple spouses, I will vote no.
Ten bucks says I will be shunned for that, as if my views do not matter.
It's my planet too and my views DO matter

Your views do matter, and we all affirm your right to commit to the kind of relationship that works best for you and your partner/s.

Where you've gone wrong is in endowing yourself with the right to decide what kind of relationship OTHER PEOPLE are allowed to have by law.

 

[Alceste]

Personal insult.

Red herring.

Nice try.

She's not insulting you, she's just Speaking Her (condescending and hostile) Truth (about you).

 

[Alceste]

I have seen almost no problem at all with Child-free or Vegetarian stances.

But just as some think that being polyamorous is perfectly Ok, some others may think that it is not OK. Why discuss it in thread after thread?

To me and many other Hindus nothing is not OK. Yet, I think, those who think poly amorous relationships etc. are perfectly Ok, should delve deeper to see the exploitations and the compulsions; the deep pains and frustrations; and helplessness of those who have to abide.

If you'd rather not discuss it, why does this entire post discuss it?

I am a child free atheist vegetarian empirical naturalist psychonaut feminist socialist libertarian in addition to being polyamorous.

I'm DEEPLY curious as to why all these unconventional lifestyle choices that affect nobody but me are often met with such hostility by conformists.

Yet in this post you gloss over every alternative lifestyle except polyamory, and then only to complain that you're sick of talking about polyamory.

OK, fine, let's talk about other alternative lifestyles. I've encountered the same kind of irrational hostility as a vegetarian as I have as a humanist, a socialist, a skeptic, a mystic, a psychonaut and a woman who doesn't want kids.

So, given that I feel no animosity at all toward those who choose to conform to various social norms, why do many of them seem to feel such animosity toward me?

 

[Leftimies]

If you'd rather not discuss it, why does this entire post discuss it?

I am a child free atheist vegetarian empirical naturalist psychonaut feminist socialist libertarian in addition to being polyamorous.

I'm DEEPLY curious as to why all these unconventional lifestyle choices that affect nobody but me are often met with such hostility by conformists.

Yet in this post you gloss over every alternative lifestyle except polyamory, and then only to complain that you're sick of talking about polyamory.

OK, fine, let's talk about other alternative lifestyles. I've encountered the same kind of irrational hostility as a vegetarian as I have as a humanist, a socialist, a skeptic, a mystic, a psychonaut and a woman who doesn't want kids.

So, given that I feel no animosity at all toward those who choose to conform to various social norms, why do many of them seem to feel such animosity toward me?

It is true though, that it has as a topic been a bit disproportionally at display.

Additionally, let them be hostile. There is nothing you can do about it, really, much in the same fashion they cannot alter your mode of living. Thus the question why are they hostile isn't important either.

But I can tell you the reason, although it is pretty obvious. These people consider alternative lifestyles to be dangerous in one way or another, and are fearful of the spread of the said lifestyles. They love the humanity they know too much to have strength to display tolerance, albeit I am sure there are also simply proud and arrogant egoists involved too.