Why the Female Orgasm is Immoral!

[Sunstone]

like baking fresh cinnamin rolls from scratch for breakfast

Wait! Hold on! You mean that's what you get for giving women orgasms? You get fresh baked cinnamon rolls? For orgasms? Does that mean I would get a few gumdrops for my premature orgasms?

Badran! They is giving out fresh baked cinnamon rolls for orgasms! Cinnamon rolls! I'm thinking maybe we should, like, rethink this whole thinking we've been doing about female orgasms!

 

[MysticSang'ha]

First off, I want you to know and recognize that this thread is not even in the least inspired by the fact I have never in my life brought a woman to orgasm. It has nothing to do with that at all. So don't go there! And, no, I'm not hyper-sensitive about that fact nor defensive about it. So don't go there, either!

Second, isn't it about time we all recognize that the female orgasm is logically and indisputably over-rated? I mean, vastly over-rated? As in, like, there's no legit use for it because it serves no purpose except pleasure, and people who seek pleasure are immoral swine anyway.

Can we all just agree to that?

And can we all just further agree that all this talk of women having a right to sexual pleasure is premature. And I'm not saying that just because I myself am always premature. I mean, aren't there a lot of other problems in this world that we should solve first before we get after solving the problem of female dissatisfaction with premature men?

And no, I am not saying any of this simply because no woman has ever had an orgasm with me because I keep having premature orgasms seconds or even minutes before any actual penetration has occurred, or even, in most cases, before any clothing has been removed. That's got nothing to do with this OP. So, quit thinking it's got some relevance here. OK?

OK. And I further think that women who seek orgasms are immoral also because they are less likely to put out simply because a nice guy like me has bought them flowers and a supper. I mean, if flowers and a supper aren't enough for a woman, can she truly be moral? Don't nice guys have a right to have women too? Why is it always the jerks who give them orgasms that they end up with? It's not fair.

Ok. Now that we've settled all that, let's discuss the morality of the female orgasm. I think I've proved my point beyond doubt now.

That's fine. If you're not up to the job, I'll find someone else. Have a good day.

 

[Sunstone]

That's fine. If you're not up to the job, I'll find someone else. Have a good day.

Up to the job? Of course I'd be up to the job, if that's what I wanted to be. Certainly I'd be up to the job! Why, I'd only need to want to be up to the job and -- sproing! -- just like that, my two fulsome inches of thoroughbred thrust-stick would be up for the job! I assure you!

The thing is, I don't want to contribute to female lewdness and self-centered pleasure seeking. I have morals. My not being up for the job has got nothing to do with chronic impotence, and I resent you're even thinking that might be the case.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Wait! Hold on! You mean that's what you get for giving women orgasms? You get fresh baked cinnamon rolls? For orgasms? Does that mean I would get a few gumdrops for my premature orgasms?

Badran! They is giving out fresh baked cinnamon rolls for orgasms! Cinnamon rolls! I'm thinking maybe we should, like, rethink this whole thinking we've been doing about female orgasms!

I think that's just crossfire, I just roll over and go to sleep.

 

[Sunstone]

I think that's just crossfire, I just roll over and go to sleep.

That's exactly the sort of insidiously immoral and selfish female behavior that leads respectable men like Badran and me to question the whole premiss of the female orgasm.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

That's exactly the sort of insidiously immoral and selfish female behavior that leads respectable men like Badran and me to question the whole premiss of the female orgasm.

This entire thread leads me to question, if you kill prostitutes in your spare time?

 

[crossfire]

That's fine. If you're not up to the job, I'll find someone else. Have a good day.

Speaking of immoral female orgasms, who was that lovely lady?

 

[crossfire]

I think that's just crossfire, I just roll over and go to sleep.

Well, being the maniac that I am, I'd have waaaaay too much energy to go to sleep!

 

[Sunstone]

This entire thread leads me to question, if you kill prostitutes in your spare time?

Absolutely not! I am staunchly opposed to the death penalty for prostitution. In fact, a whole category of women -- the category: Bad Girls -- cannot help themselves but be prostitutes. Oh, they might say they aren't. But that's feminism talking. That's thoughts put into their heads by radicals! Bad Girls are naturally prostitutes because they like sex and they even like having it out of wedlock, which leads to abortions and the murder of innocent baby zygotes. Good Girls, on the other hand, keep their legs crossed until their wedding night. And even then, they don't like orgasms because it makes them roll over and go to sleep when they should be up and about cleaning the kitchen or something respectable.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Up to the job? Of course I'd be up to the job, if that's what I wanted to be. Certainly I'd be up to the job! Why, I'd only need to want to be up to the job and -- sproing! -- just like that, my two fulsome inches of thoroughbred thrust-stick would be up for the job! I assure you!

The thing is, I don't want to contribute to female lewdness and self-centered pleasure seeking. I have morals. My not being up for the job has got nothing to do with chronic impotence, and I resent you're even thinking that might be the case.

Um, okay.

So keep your morals. And your resentment. I'm off to have my fun. Have a nice day.

 

[Sunstone]

I'm off to have my fun.

How about you and I have a little fun together? It's true I don't have much experience of women, but I've got plenty experience of wine bottles, and just how different are you women, really, from the smooth, silky, moistness of a recently emptied wine bottle? I'll buy you flowers and a supper!

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Absolutely not! I am staunchly opposed to the death penalty for prostitution. In fact, a whole category of women -- the category: Bad Girls -- cannot help themselves but be prostitutes. Oh, they might say they aren't. But that's feminism talking. That's thoughts put into their heads by radicals! Bad Girls are naturally prostitutes because they like sex and they even like having it out of wedlock, which leads to abortions and the murder of innocent baby zygotes. Good Girls, on the other hand, keep their legs crossed until their wedding night. And even then, they don't like orgasms because it makes them roll over and go to sleep when they should be up and about cleaning the kitchen or something respectable.

You just seemed like the type that's all, you know, the kind that blames women for their own feelings of sexual inadequacy.

 

[crossfire]

And even then, they don't like orgasms because it makes them roll over and go to sleep when they should be up and about cleaning the kitchen or something respectable.

You mean milking the cow? {I knew there was a reason why I chose celibacy}

 

[Sunstone]

You just seemed like the type that's all, you know, the kind that blames women for their own feelings of sexual inadequacy.

Women have feelings? I mean, about sex? Do you have any evidence of this?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

How about you and I have a little fun together? It's true I don't have much experience of women, but I've got plenty experience of wine bottles, and just how different are you women, really, from the smooth, silky, moistness of a recently emptied wine bottle? I'll buy you flowers and a supper!

How about I have a little fun by watching you and Badran show me how you pleasure a wine bottle? I'll eat while you give me a show.

Now go order some chicken fried rice and bring me a thorny rose.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Women have feelings? I mean, about sex? Do you have any evidence of this?

I meant YOUR YOUR, DAMNIT! I flopped

 

[Sunstone]

How about I have a little fun by watching you and Badran show me how you pleasure a wine bottle?

Oh, yeah, go ahead! Make all the fun you want to about us sodomizing wine bottles. Sure, but you'll have to admit wine bottles are more moral than Bad Girls because wine bottles don't take any pleasure in sex. They do it for love, and love alone, just like Good Girls.

 

[Sunstone]

You mean milking the cow?

Well, I myself prefer rumps to breasts in both my women and my cattle. Not that I've noticed much difference.

{I knew there was a reason why I chose celibacy}

I heard that!

 

[freethinker44]

Wait! Hold on! You mean that's what you get for giving women orgasms? You get fresh baked cinnamon rolls? For orgasms? Does that mean I would get a few gumdrops for my premature orgasms?

Badran! They is giving out fresh baked cinnamon rolls for orgasms! Cinnamon rolls! I'm thinking maybe we should, like, rethink this whole thinking we've been doing about female orgasms!

What?!? I never got a cinnamon roll. My wife has some 'splainin' to do.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Oh, yeah, go ahead! Make all the fun you want to about us sodomizing wine bottles. Sure, but you'll have to admit wine bottles are more moral than Bad Girls because wine bottles don't take any pleasure in sex. They do it for love, and love alone, just like Good Girls.

Jeez, Sunstone...we're in agreement that I'm not a Good Girl. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now, more importantly, where's my flowers and a supper? Where's my show?