That would be a matter for owners to handle.
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Woman Ownership Tips
- Thread starter Kilgore Trout
- Start date
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Gotta go now - my owner wants me to get dressed, fix this expensive hair of mine, and go to Best Buy and then out for a steak dinner later. He may even expect other favors later in the evening.
So demanding...he is also expecting me to watch the Saints game with him. SHEEZE, HE'S SUCH A SLAVE DRIVER!
So demanding...he is also expecting me to watch the Saints game with him. SHEEZE, HE'S SUCH A SLAVE DRIVER!
Erebus
Well-Known Member
Pfft honestly you people, you don't own a woman anymore than you own a dog, instead you adopt the creature into your pack and have to establish yourself as the pack alpha. Concepts of ownership are beyond women no matter how much we might try to humanize them.
Now I'm not saying you can't pet and feed your woman, but you have to make them understand that you do this because YOU want to, not because they want you to. One trick that can be used is to get your woman to cook the meal herself (thus inviting her to join in with what she understands to be "the hunt") but don't allow her to eat until you yourself have finished. Over time the woman will come to understand that while she is a member of the pack, she is NOT the alpha.
Many of us like to take our woman for walkies, but it can be frustrating when your woman sees a shoe shop and bounds after it heedless of traffic. Many women have been injured or even killed in such a way and it is your responsibility as a man to ensure this doesn't happen. Despite a woman's relative lack of intelligence they can be trained to wait at roads, the best way to do this is to give them the back of your hand if they run across without looking and reward them with a look in the shoe shop if they are patient.
Now I know it's dull to go into shoe shops, but women have a primitive sort of joy when it comes to looking at such dull objects. Limit your woman to five minutes at first and gradually reduce the time until they are content with a glance through the window.
Finally we come to one of the big questions, "Can I let my woman onto the furniture." The answer is yes... BUT only when they are already trained and understand that you are the pack alpha. For new women it's best to keep them locked in the kitchen while you are at work so they aren't tempted to replace the cushions or tidy away your stuff in places you'll never find it (such as in cupboards/wardrobes or in drawers).
Remember that it is not healthy for a woman to think of herself as the pack alpha. Such women have been known to engage in neurotic behaviour such as hoovering perfectly clean floors, obsessively straightening cushions and curtains or even becoming hostile when a man leaves his beer cans on the floor.
Now I'm not saying you can't pet and feed your woman, but you have to make them understand that you do this because YOU want to, not because they want you to. One trick that can be used is to get your woman to cook the meal herself (thus inviting her to join in with what she understands to be "the hunt") but don't allow her to eat until you yourself have finished. Over time the woman will come to understand that while she is a member of the pack, she is NOT the alpha.
Many of us like to take our woman for walkies, but it can be frustrating when your woman sees a shoe shop and bounds after it heedless of traffic. Many women have been injured or even killed in such a way and it is your responsibility as a man to ensure this doesn't happen. Despite a woman's relative lack of intelligence they can be trained to wait at roads, the best way to do this is to give them the back of your hand if they run across without looking and reward them with a look in the shoe shop if they are patient.
Now I know it's dull to go into shoe shops, but women have a primitive sort of joy when it comes to looking at such dull objects. Limit your woman to five minutes at first and gradually reduce the time until they are content with a glance through the window.
Finally we come to one of the big questions, "Can I let my woman onto the furniture." The answer is yes... BUT only when they are already trained and understand that you are the pack alpha. For new women it's best to keep them locked in the kitchen while you are at work so they aren't tempted to replace the cushions or tidy away your stuff in places you'll never find it (such as in cupboards/wardrobes or in drawers).
Remember that it is not healthy for a woman to think of herself as the pack alpha. Such women have been known to engage in neurotic behaviour such as hoovering perfectly clean floors, obsessively straightening cushions and curtains or even becoming hostile when a man leaves his beer cans on the floor.
Viker
Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
At least apes, with their ape male owners, have a fighting chance to pull that off.
Gaura Priya
IRL
:O
I detest this thread!!!
... and have a sudden desire for a pickle.
I detest this thread!!!
... and have a sudden desire for a pickle.
Good news!
My owner thinks I'm "It."
He thinks I'm "It" in a really big way.
Just yesterday, he said, "You're FULL of IT!"
(I'm feeling really proud right now.)
My owner thinks I'm "It."
He thinks I'm "It" in a really big way.
Just yesterday, he said, "You're FULL of IT!"
(I'm feeling really proud right now.)
cablescavenger
Well-Known Member
I use what I like to call the "Boxing Helena" method. My woman fits nicely in my backpack and is ideal for days out.
You could use the Porta Juggy!
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Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
But YOU have to understand, even though you think we think you want to, we know we still make you want to.
Just try to give a back hand. Of course it won't connect as a slap as your hand is grabbed and dragged off into the street, barely avoiding collision, to get to the shoe shop to look(buy) at a pair of shoes that would go so well with a particular dress, and because you know if you disagree or protest there will be no nookie that evening.
Spartacus collars don't chafe. Buy one of those. They're only $15 apiece.
EDIT: I might add that the wife loves hers. The problem, I have a spare for woman 2, which I've never been motivated to use.
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cablescavenger
Well-Known Member
Perfect