No wonder no one puts the toilet seat down around here!
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Be Offended By the Post Above You
- Thread starter DreadFish
- Start date
I put it down! This avoids fecal aerosols when flushing!
You evil rascal, you...you...you...peacenik!
How dare you tell me to get a life!
Real lives are over-rated!
Real lives are over-rated!
You have a piece of celery stuck in your teeth!
(Gawd, that's gross.)
(Gawd, that's gross.)
No it's not. How can you say that?
It's morning. The early bird gets the worm!
It's morning. The early bird gets the worm!
Worms are disgusting!
(Awoon prefers steak & beer.)
(Awoon prefers steak & beer.)
Fine! Then bring him some!
(Me, too. I prefer my steak medium-rare. And, I like a good tasting beer -- not much for watered down, tasteless "lite" beer. Never mind, scratch that -- I like beer, but I really prefer a nice Cabernet Sauvignon with steak. It's a little early in the day for me, so would you please get it to me for...oh...around 6-ish?)
(Me, too. I prefer my steak medium-rare. And, I like a good tasting beer -- not much for watered down, tasteless "lite" beer. Never mind, scratch that -- I like beer, but I really prefer a nice Cabernet Sauvignon with steak. It's a little early in the day for me, so would you please get it to me for...oh...around 6-ish?)
Bring him some? Me? Balderdash & pish posh!
That's women's work!
Btw, I could use a post-Labor Day sammich, toots.
That's women's work!
Btw, I could use a post-Labor Day sammich, toots.
Well! Fine! You don't have to get so snippy about it!
I'll send it right over. I hope you appreciate all I had to go through to have it just waiting for you. Yes, that's right...I'm going to tell you the whole story.
Well, I knew you would want a post-Labor Day sammich. Unfortunately, right in the middle of our Labor Day BBQ, there was a torrential downpour. I had a giant, bacon topped burger on the grill, just for you. As luck would have it, the grill doesn't have a top...so when the rain started come down hard, it splashed up a lot of ash onto your burger.
I was so dismayed at the horror of it all, that I lunged forward to rescue said burger, but unfortunately slipped a bit, and the burger landed in a pile of ....pile of... well, let's just say "a pile of sand".
Still, I would not be deterred from saving your burger. Just about that time, a dog ran up and began sniffing around it, licked it once or twice, then grabbed it between his teeth.
Oh, my...you should have seen me wrestle that canine for your burger. (Ever notice that some dogs drool A LOT?) Anyway, I emerged triumphant. I have your burger, here -- ready for you. Don't worry, I brushed it off with a paper towel.
Would you like pickles with it?
I'll send it right over. I hope you appreciate all I had to go through to have it just waiting for you. Yes, that's right...I'm going to tell you the whole story.
Well, I knew you would want a post-Labor Day sammich. Unfortunately, right in the middle of our Labor Day BBQ, there was a torrential downpour. I had a giant, bacon topped burger on the grill, just for you. As luck would have it, the grill doesn't have a top...so when the rain started come down hard, it splashed up a lot of ash onto your burger.
I was so dismayed at the horror of it all, that I lunged forward to rescue said burger, but unfortunately slipped a bit, and the burger landed in a pile of ....pile of... well, let's just say "a pile of sand".
Still, I would not be deterred from saving your burger. Just about that time, a dog ran up and began sniffing around it, licked it once or twice, then grabbed it between his teeth.
Oh, my...you should have seen me wrestle that canine for your burger. (Ever notice that some dogs drool A LOT?) Anyway, I emerged triumphant. I have your burger, here -- ready for you. Don't worry, I brushed it off with a paper towel.
Would you like pickles with it?
Oh, drat!
How could I be offended by that?
The poor sammich!
How could I be offended by that?
The poor sammich!
"The poor sammich?" Is that all you have to say?
What about doing something that means something? What about a limerick celebrating my sammich saving hero-status? Something!
edit: On second thought, make that and Ode, instead of a limerick.
What about doing something that means something? What about a limerick celebrating my sammich saving hero-status? Something!
edit: On second thought, make that and Ode, instead of a limerick.
A revolting ode to the death of a sammich
A Labor Day spoiled by rain.
A burger's demise inhumane.
Droplets & splashes.
Covered with ashes.
Then Fido attacked. Oh, the pain!
A Labor Day spoiled by rain.
A burger's demise inhumane.
Droplets & splashes.
Covered with ashes.
Then Fido attacked. Oh, the pain!