Sweater murderer! Sweater drowner!
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How could you? How COULD YOU deny your own son?
Why...here's a portrait that he made of himself wearing a bacon suit...just to please you!
It was hanging on your refrigerator the last time I peeped through your kitchen window.
http://pinterest.com/pin/914862395879878/
Do you know what kind of emotional damage you probably just did? You owe him an apology!
He's not my son! He's a Willie wannabe!
Nice suit though.