Be Offended By the Post Above You

[4consideration]

You can call it "purring" or you can tell us it's a whoopie cushion, but we all know what it really is -- and we know it's coming from you!

 

[Simurgh]

I am taking the fifth on the purring thing. I am just offended in general at the disregard for my divine nature. I mean, why else com to a forum such as this where people believe all that fuzzy stuff if not to be worshipped.
...and that kilt, which by the way is doing a great job standing in the corner by itself, seems to be growing things that move. Pssst, are those really tiny legs I see?

 

[Wu Wei]

Oh for crying out loud you last feline with the usual feline overblown sense of self-worth....now there are 2 mice and you just sit there and do nothing....AND I see you've been in the cat nip.....you do realize you can be replaced by a simple mouse trap...don't you

 

[Revoltingest]

Hah! Let's see you chase a mouse!
You couldn't even chase a statue of a mouse!

 

[Wu Wei]

Enough of your drivel you rancid Scotsman... you could get rid of the mice with your stench....get to work and stop being lazy like the silly little fur ball of a felis silvestris catus.... and while you at it CLEAN its litter box too...it reeks ALMOST as much as you do

 

[Revoltingest]

At least I keeps the meeses away...that's better'n you, ya motion impaired pigeon toilet!

 

[Simurgh]

Hey, kiltboy, thanks for taking care of the rodents for me. The statue thingy is being a bit obstreporous--for an inanimate object in any event. And him being such an ugly and offensive color in the first place. He ought not be permitted to address me in such a familiar manner. I am goddess and he is just jelous, so there, let the truth hurt.

Revoltingmost, you have a charm all your own, albeit a bit smelly, but that can be forgiven. especially if you could add a bit more rodentia to my afternoon snack tray. i know tea and cucumber sandwiches are the common fare, but a touch of rat on a cracker always hits the spot.

 

[Wu Wei]

typical small cat....I think you meant obstreperous

And you should not talk to me at all since you are not worthy to talk to Qi Tian Da Sheng.....oh wait you are just a cat... Qi Tian Da Sheng means Great Sage Equal of Heaven...I am also the Handsome Monkey King...and the opinions and thoughts of a small but offensive kitty mean little to me....

As for the Scotsman....at least he is a higher mammal....a rather disgusting, offensive and smelly one...but still a higher mammal

 

[Simurgh]

uuuhhhh, I am so shaking in my boots you self-important little fairy. Or do you really think that a chinese name is making you anything else but a little sprite? Is this statue thing something along the lines of "the smaller the man, the bigger the truck"? Overcompensating for whatever is small, are we?
The Scot is just offensive in his own glorious way and wallows in it, quite endearing, I think. But you are just tinkerbell in disguise--and not a good one--how much more offensive can it get. Be proud and don't hide behind some ugly sculpture. I am sure you look pretty adorable in your real form, monkeyboy.

 

[4consideration]

Don't CALL HIM MONKEYBOY! That's offensive.

It should be "Monkeyman"!

edit: Did you know that he and Revoltingest are distant cousins?

 

[Simurgh]

I can be as offensive as I want to be, I am goddess. Anyhow, I am just being truthful. Cousins, are you sure? I thought they were just best friends, probably with some sort of benefits, you know what I mean?
....nah, how desperate could the kilt bearer be to take up with a little sprite that hides behind a statue? ...then again, he is smelly and uncivilized...........:fork:

 

[4consideration]

Well...you know...one's a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal and the other's a monkey...so...

 

[Revoltingest]

Either way, tis insulting!
But which am I?

 

[4consideration]

Either way, tis insulting!
But which am I?

If you don't know who you are, I surely can't tell you!

What do think I am -- some kind of mystical sage, or something?

Sheesh!

 

[Simurgh]

Don't be offended, you're a knuckle dragger either way. BUT a stylish one at that. That new polka dot kilt is just awesome. Neon green is so you, and it does show off your hairy, yet knobby knees to your advantage. now if you were to shave your knuckles ever now and again, you would truly be eyecandy for the visually impaired.
Don't let 4square mar this beautiful day for you with his offensive remarks. we all know he is no sage of any kind, not the spiritual one nor the edible one. which reminds me, did you make some more of that haggis? There is a troll living under my house and i wanted to poison him a little bit, you know?! How about it, can I get some? I could let you have his chihuahua for a squeaky toy in exchange.

 

[Revoltingest]

It's offensive that you sound like you're responding to me, but actually you're addressing 4con!
But then, cats are not known for their orderly communication skills, especially at a keyboard.
Although some cats are skilled....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J---aiyznGQ

 

[Wu Wei]

Oh....so now your a shill for Cheerios.....your overt commercialism is offensive....albeit the least offensive of all your offensive traits.... but still offensive.... but not as offensive as a cat with an unreasonably over inflated ego with delusions of grandeur that can't even catch a damn mouse...

 

[Simurgh]

Oh be offended all you want you two little boys. Why would I need to go mousing anyhow? Neither of you knuckle draggers ever heard of take-out? I mean, what are phones and minions for if not to fetch things?
...and delusions of grandeur? ...not likely.

 

[Thief]

If that is a photo of your cat.....that would be animal abuse.
Charges pending.

 

[Revoltingest]

How dare you call THE MAN on a fellow poster!
We don't need no stink'n MR CHARLIE put'n his jack boot on the neck of one of our'n!