Corporal Punishment Reinstated

[VoidCat]

Yes... I follow the authoritative line. Maybe that is why they are happy and successful?

Spanking seems more authorartarian parenting rather then authoritarive

(I hope I spelt those words right)

 

[The Hammer]

I disagree. So, what vision did you see when I said spanking? Did you see it as a daily routine? Did you see it as an "answer to all things"?

How did you interpret it?

I know you do. Which is why I stated that I was finished with the conversation. Although, that was apparently a lie.

This is something I am very passionate about.

 

[Kenny]

Hit (n):

an instance of striking or being struck.

spanking:
spank, v. tr. To slap on the buttocks with a flat object
love, n. 1 A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

Notice it didn't say "hit". I don't like hitting.

 

[The Hammer]

Yes... I follow the authoritative line. Maybe that is why they are happy and successful?

Striking/spanking/hitting is an authoritarian method of parenting.

"Spare the rod spoil the child" is authoritarian.

 

[Kenny]

I know you do. Which is why I stated that I was finished with the conversation. Although, that was apparently a lie.

This is something I am very passionate about.

And I respect your right! I'm just saying that I didn't have adverse effects but rather positive results

 

[The Hammer]

spanking:
spank, v. tr. To slap on the buttocks with a flat object
love, n. 1 A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

Notice it didn't say "hit". I don't like hitting.

Your just parsing semantics in order to make yourself feel better, and justify something that has been explicitly shown to have negative consequences (visible or invisible).

The latter is what I'm concerned with.

 

[The Hammer]

And I respect your right! I'm just saying that I didn't have adverse effects but rather positive results

You can't truly know that with any precision. Because we cannot know the mind of another. Our children or not.

 

[Kenny]

Striking/spanking/hitting is an authoritarian method of parenting.

"Spare the rod spoil the child" is authoritarian.

View attachment 65841

Authoritative Parenting

• You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
• You explain the reasons behind your rules.
• You set limits, enforce rules, and give consequences, but take your child's feelings into consideration.

 

[Kenny]

Your just parsing semantics in order to make yourself feel better. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Maybe you had a bad experience?

 

[Kenny]

You can't truly know that with any precision. Because we cannot know the mind of another. Our children or not.

I could say that for your children? (Don't know if you had any)

 

[The Hammer]

Maybe you had a bad experience?

Not particularly. I was not spanked.

 

[The Hammer]

Authoritative Parenting

• You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
• You explain the reasons behind your rules.
• You set limits, enforce rules, and give consequences, but take your child's feelings into consideration.

And physical discipline is no where on that list is it?

 

[Kenny]

And physical discipline is no where on that list is it?

"and give consequences"

 

[Twilight Hue]

Would you spank these adult children now, to teach them a lesson? Or would you talk to them?

Spanking never stopped for misbehavior and not following directions. It just changes hands.

Ask any police officer about people who don't or won't follow instructions and what will happen to them if they continue.

 

[Twilight Hue]

@KenS
Im in school for teaching. Taking a class on child development. Do you know the difference between the 4 parenting types: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritarive?

Mother superior has all those qualities!

 

[VoidCat]

"and give consequences"

Consequences don't always equal authorative. For instance my folks had my siblings and I sit buttnaked in below freezing weather as a consequence for bad behavior but that's authoritarian not authoriative and even considered abusive.

 

[The Hammer]

Spanking never stopped for misbehavior and not following directions. It just changes hands.

Ask any police officer about people who don't or won't follow instructions and what will happen to them if they continue.

Other posters have already covered why this is still a bad idea. So, you can reread what they wrote.

 

[Kenny]

Consequences don't always equal authorative. For instance my folks had my siblings and I sit buttnaked in below freezing weather as a consequence for bad behaviorbut that's authoritarian and even considered abusive.

That is so true!!! And certainly "consequences" doesn't translate into always spanking. It isn't "the answer" but can be a tool in an variety with other ways

Would never do something like that to my child. Definitely authoritarian.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

If you think so.

I've spent a deal of time studying serial killers. In the few cases where a physical rod was spared the emotional rod was brutal.
And there's also been a genetic factor at play when it comes to what we call psychopaths/socipaths (it's not a diagnosis and the terms are interchangeable, it's factually wrong to say one was born and the other raised).

 

[VoidCat]

That is so true!!! And certainly "consequences" doesn't translate into always spanking. It isn't "the answer" but can be a tool in an variety with other ways

Would never do something like that to my child. Definitely authoritarian.

See tho spanking is often considered a key characteristic of authoritarian style.

Im not saying you were always authoritarian with your kids. Many parents switch between styles. But in this instance you probably were even if unintentionally. I will say I am glad you tried to keep your style authoriative which is typically considered the best style in most cases regarding parenting.


Studies do point towards it being detrimental spanking. Even if your kids are fine which I doubt there was no real damage from it it shouldn't be the norm. There are better ways of parenting.