Jeeze, I go away for a couple of days and the thread grows out of proportions... Anyway, I took the liberty of trimming some of the quotes, otherwise this is going to become completely unmanageable. Hope you don't mind...
Yes, that IS out of touch with reality, and that's why that's not what I said. I am a Christian, and I have faith in God and what He reveals to us...
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I always get a bad feeling when someone throws out a quote in an attempt to say something like: "See, you misunderstood my long and exhaustive argument, this is
actually what I believe in." You know what I mean?
It's interesting that you would think, given my position, that I would agree with that sentiment. If I were in a position to, without any possible negative consequences to myself, prevent an "accident" like the one described in the OP and chose not to do so, I could hardly be described as "good" or to be working "for the good" of
anyone in
any sense of the word. So, I'm not buying it. Not to mention the "those who love him" nonsense. Just by the way, does that quote not conflict with, for example, Job's story? Or is that not one of your cherries?
Well, actually, I think that some peoples' lives seem to be nothing much more than one steady stream of sorrow and misery and general unhappiness. And you're right - that's not my point.
Is that because they have a bad attitude and/or do not have faith? Or are there actual,
objective reasons for some people's unhappiness/lack of joy/whatever you want to call it? You seem to be of an opinion that that simply does not exist.
Once again - that's not what I've said. I have a problem with that statement as well, and with you trying to shove those words into my mouth. It's not what I believe.
Well now, I'm glad to hear you're agreeing with me. But did you not make it a point in your response to the OP to say that "ALL OF IT" (by which you meant the stuff that happened to you/your family) worked out for the best?
If the point wasn't to say that "it all works out for the best", what was it? You even went on to explain exactly how everything seemingly bad that happened resulted in things being better. I don't think I was putting words in your mouth, I think you've reconsidered your position.
...
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Don't worry, be happy. Much easier, equally futile.
Look, please stop quoting scripture and saying: "this is what I believe." It leaves the impression that you don't really have a position of your own. Otherwise, I promise you I'll start quoting Al Bundy just to even the odds.
...You've heard the old expression "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I've just deleted a lot of what I don't find to be in dispute. I agree, we work with what we've got. But really, the saying for a theist should go: "When God seems not to care about preventing disasters, praise him at least as hard as before."
We really shouldn't interchange the words "happiness" and "joy." They're really two different things. Happiness is transitory, joy is more permanent. Joy is deeper, quieter. It's more akin to peace.
Potato...Whatever, I'm pretty sure semantics isn't the source of our disagreement.
No one is expecting you to be HAPPIER when you lose a loved one, but we can move through that grief more gracefully when we have that deep inner peace. I derive that peace from my faith. And on the other side of that grief, when the event is incorporated healthily into our lives, we can be a better person than we were before the event.
I can be a better person without such tragic events, I promise. You know, the whole idea of "getting tougher" and "growing as a person", it's on a different scale than what we're talking about. We don't cut soldiers' legs off to make them deal better with the potential loss of their limbs.
It is what it is. There is no "what might have been." There is only "what is." THAT is reality. THAT'S what we have to deal with. That's what I am dealing with, contrary to what you seem to think.
It's not about what "might have been". How do you ever evaluate if something is good or not. (good as in positive, desirable, tolerable, better than the alternative...). I mean, if that is really how you think about it how do you decide whether or not you should use the door instead of ramming your head through the wall? You can't
know what the outcomes are going to be anyway.
Of course you can decide what the better option is. Of course you can say it would have been better had the drunken driver not caused an accident and your husband not defrauded the IRS. It has nothing to do with results, nothing to do with outcomes. Playing the lottery doesn't suddenly become a good choice just because you happened to have won some money. Having your fortune told doesn't stop being a scam if the fortune-teller happens to hit.
You can quite safely say that it would have been better had the fortune-teller not decided to scam people. You can say that it would have been better had the accident not happened. If you can't, then you can't say anything about anything without knowing the end result. You can't even say that walking through a door is preferable to ramming your head through the wall. You're just avoiding the answer.
**** happens. What we do with it in part determines our personal successes or failures.
Oh, no. The **** determines that as well.
This is where my faith strengthens me. Also, I am 48 years old, and I realize now that my happiness does NOT depend on my health, where I live, or earning an income.
If that's true, why do you prefer to live in a house rather than being homeless? Why do you take care not to cut yourself when chopping onions? Why do you earn an income? Why do you provide for your family - I'm assuming their happiness is also not dependent on an objective reality?
I think you have a very flawed way of thinking about this or a very flawed way of expressing what you mean. What I think you mean, and please correct me if I'm wrong, is that those things do not (
completely)
determine your happiness. That you can be happy
even if you don't have them and unhappy
even if you have them. That's very different than saying it does not depend on them.
He needed to teach me. And He taught me.
Give me a break. You can say things like that without blushing?
I'm NOT bragging. I am testifying to the fact that we CAN have peace and joy that doesn't rely on our material things or the things we think are so important in this life.
Why do you keep saying "this" life? Is there another life you know of?
Of course we can, K. I can ride a bicycle with no hands and I can eat without utensils. I don't understand why you're saying this.
Do you honestly think I would tell a grieving parent that they should be grateful for losing a child?
Not in those terms. But you did, in response to the OP, present your argument that, for you, it did all work out for the best, so one would assume that implies that it at least might work out for the better for them as well. And I do think you probably would be of an opinion that they should be grateful - no matter what happens.