I disagree that there is no such thing as a Christian. There are three here right now.
You do Christians an honour by saying they are cerebral. The word cerebral gets its meaning from cerebrum, which is Latin for brain. Cerebral people use their brains instead of their hearts and emotions. That means that we make decisions using our intelligence and cold, hard facts, instead of our emotions.
I do not expect someone, who was an acting Christian for thirty years, and in that time failed to be converted by the Holy Ghost, to believe in Christ. You must have been doing something very wrong because God has promised that if we follow his teachings that he will reveal the truth of His marvelous work and wonder.
James 1:5-6
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the btruth of all things.
I know this works. You did something wrong. It is as simple as that.