'Have a Blessed Day' versus 'Hope You Get Lucky Tonight'

[Draka]

It's mighty white of you to take that position.

I honestly had no idea what that was myself. I wouldn't know how to respond either as I've never heard it before. Really, upon first looking at it and trying to figure out what it meant I actually assumed it meant "clueless" or "ignorant".

 

[Draka]

Oops, sorry, forgot I dropped dead in this thread. Well, I guess I must be haunting now.

As for the "mighty white of you" thing, I asked Turk about it, if he had heard it or knew what it was and he said he heard it at work frequently. To which I responded "so it's a redneck thing?". Poor guy works with several redneck "good ol' boys".

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I honestly had no idea what that was myself. I wouldn't know how to respond either as I've never heard it before. Really, upon first looking at it and trying to figure out what it meant I actually assumed it meant "clueless" or "ignorant".

It originally meant "fair" or "magnanimous".

I used it because - assuming you're familiar with the expression - it can be just as off-putting and as inappropriate in general use as "have a blessed day."

 

[Draka]

It originally meant "fair" or "magnanimous".

I used it because - assuming you're familiar with the expression - it can be just as off-putting and as inappropriate in general use as "have a blessed day."

But there lies within that automatic judgment or condescension. In "have a blessed day" any judgment or condescension is something one has to go out of their way to assume. It is unknown. One whom would use a racist saying has to go out of their way to use a racist saying and know what it means. Anyone could use "have a blessed day", from any number of religions, or someone whom was perhaps raised to say it to mean good things. Like even non-Christians or atheists have been known to utter "Jesus Christ!" or "God damnit!" when upset. If an atheist exclaims "Jesus Christ" when they hit their thumb with a hammer are they preaching?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

But there lies within that automatic judgment or condescension. In "have a blessed day" any judgment or condescension is something one has to go out of their way to assume. It is unknown.

Yes and no.

I agree that we'd need more information if we wanted to conclude that the phrase was being used to be deliberately offensive, but it's still problematic even if no offense is intended. It ignores the fact that non-Christians and/or non-theists exist. It marginalizes real people. The fact that the speaker might not realize that these non-theists exist, which I suppose explains the speaker's insensitivity, but it still leaves the non-theist with this near-constant message telling him that there's no space for him in that community... or that what space he does have has been granted on the basis of an assumption that he's something that he's not.

The only way I can assume that "have a blessed day" wasn't meant to offend is to assume that the person saying it had absolutely no idea that they might ever encounter an atheist, which is offensive itself for different reasons.

One whom would use a racist saying has to go out of their way to use a racist saying and know what it means.

Apparently, "that's white of you" didn't have racist origins.

Anyone could use "have a blessed day", from any number of religions, or someone whom was perhaps raised to say it to mean good things.

As I mentioned a few posts back, it only went into widespread use in the late 2000s. Virtually anyone who was raised to say it is still a child.

Like even non-Christians or atheists have been known to utter "Jesus Christ!" or "God damnit!" when upset. If an atheist exclaims "Jesus Christ" when they hit their thumb with a hammer are they preaching?

That's not quite the same thing, is it?

It's not reasonable to expect people to put thought into reflexive exclamations - if they were thought out, they wouldn't be reflexive exclamations. We're talking here about deliberate communication that, hopefully, the speaker has put at least a bit of thought into.

 

[oldbadger]

Tip of what?

Ha ha!
It's interesting, ain't it?

I mean, If you say 'God Bless', loads of miserable folks could take offence, but if you was to say 'Damn and Blast' would those folks still be upset?

What about 'Bloody Hell!' as an exclamation?
And there I was, going 'Hell for leather' down the road.....

Ha ha...... the possibilities are endless.....
'We're very sorry that your order has been delayed Sir, but we'd like to assure you that we're moving Heaven and Hell to get it to you......

Are some folks just nit-picky?

 

[Draka]

Yes and no.

I agree that we'd need more information if we wanted to conclude that the phrase was being used to be deliberately offensive, but it's still problematic even if no offense is intended. It ignores the fact that non-Christians and/or non-theists exist. It marginalizes real people. The fact that the speaker might not realize that these non-theists exist, which I suppose explains the speaker's insensitivity, but it still leaves the non-theist with this near-constant message telling him that there's no space for him in that community... or that what space he does have has been granted on the basis of an assumption that he's something that he's not.

How does it ignore that non-Christians exist for one? As I said, Christians aren't the only religious people to use such a phrase. It could be used with a spiritual feeling indicative of any number of religious backgrounds. Pagans often use the word blessed/bless/blessings for example.

The only way I can assume that "have a blessed day" wasn't meant to offend is to assume that the person saying it had absolutely no idea that they might ever encounter an atheist, which is offensive itself for different reasons.

That, my dear, is ridiculous. It simply isn't said to offend at all. Why on Earth would someone wish blessings to offend? "Come to Jesus" okay, "You are going to hell unless you repent" alright, the same basic thing as saying "I wish you have good things come into your life today"...I just don't see it.

Apparently, "that's white of you" didn't have racist origins.

I cant believe that.

As I mentioned a few posts back, it only went into widespread use in the late 2000s. Virtually anyone who was raised to say it is still a child.

"Widespread use" means what exactly? that no one ever used it before it apparently "blew up"? No. Sayings and phrases go in and out of fashion, much like names do, it doesn't mean they were never used before or after they were "popular".

That's not quite the same thing, is it?

It's not reasonable to expect people to put thought into reflexive exclamations - if they were thought out, they wouldn't be reflexive exclamations. We're talking here about deliberate communication that, hopefully, the speaker has put at least a bit of thought into.

Actually, it kind of is. If the phrase is something ingrained enough as most people say "have a nice day" or "thank you come again" or "thanks, you too" or "see you later", then it is as reflexive as any of those others. And it simply does not mean that it is a preaching thing or intent to be offensive. If someone rings me up at the gas station during a snowstorm or something and says "you be careful out there" is them saying that going to make me more careful? Are they saying it because they think I'm not careful? Do they think I'm going to hit someone because I'm inept at driving in the snow? If one really wants to be offended, really wants to look to find how someone could even possibly, in even the very slightest way, be judging them or insulting them...they can find a way to do so by reading far too much into a passing phrase of what was probably most intentionally reflexive good natured habit.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

How does it ignore that non-Christians exist for one? As I said, Christians aren't the only religious people to use such a phrase. It could be used with a spiritual feeling indicative of any number of religious backgrounds. Pagans often use the word blessed/bless/blessings for example.

IMO, to the vast majority of people who use the phrase "have a blessed day", Paganism is just as irrelevant as atheism.

That, my dear, is ridiculous. It simply isn't said to offend at all. Why on Earth would someone wish blessings to offend? "Come to Jesus" okay, "You are going to hell unless you repent" alright, the same basic thing as saying "I wish you have good things come into your life today"...I just don't see it.

It's not just "I wish you to have good things come into your life today"; it's "I wish you to have good things today that are bestowed on you by a god you don't believe in."

It fails tobe sensitive to the other person's views... similar to, say, assuming that a married woman uses the same last name as her husband.

I cant believe that.

It's the truth, AFAICT. The expression originated in England long enough ago that a black/white racial dynamic wasn't really a thing. It just meant "white" as in "clean", similar to how we still talk about someone with pale skin having a "fair" complexion.

"Widespread use" means what exactly? that no one ever used it before it apparently "blew up"? No. Sayings and phrases go in and out of fashion, much like names do, it doesn't mean they were never used before or after they were "popular".

It means that any given person using the phrase "have a blessed day" is much more likely to have adopted it of their own accord than been raised to say it. Maybe some small community somewhere did use it forever, but unless we're talking about someone who was raised in such a community - which is unlikely -it's generally safe to assume that a person using the expression wasn't taught to use it as a child.

Actually, it kind of is. If the phrase is something ingrained enough as most people say "have a nice day" or "thank you come again" or "thanks, you too" or "see you later", then it is as reflexive as any of those others. And it simply does not mean that it is a preaching thing or intent to be offensive. If someone rings me up at the gas station during a snowstorm or something and says "you be careful out there" is them saying that going to make me more careful? Are they saying it because they think I'm not careful? Do they think I'm going to hit someone because I'm inept at driving in the snow? If one really wants to be offended, really wants to look to find how someone could even possibly, in even the very slightest way, be judging them or insulting them...they can find a way to do so by reading far too much into a passing phrase of what was probably most intentionally reflexive good natured habit.

This excuse-making smacks of theistic privilege. It's not too much to ask for a reasonable amount of sensitivity and respect. Expressions that say to someone "I'll just assume you're a theist, too" lack that respect even if they don't have outright malice.

 

[YmirGF]

I'd wouldn't mind the blessed thingy at all, frankly. What gets me is perfect strangers asking, "How are you today?" (Like they care, lol.)
To that I often reply, "I'm breathing. And you?"

 

[Draka]

Holy crap. This just screams of getting offended when someone wishes to have a good holiday you dont celebrate. Honestly, it really is looking to be offended. Like I said, one can find something to get offended over if they are truly looking to be offended. No matter how innocent the thing may, in actuality, be.

 

[Draka]

I shouldn't have haunted. I'll go back to my "dropped dead" status. I think that works better for me.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'd wouldn't mind the blessed thingy at all, frankly. What gets me is perfect strangers asking, "How are you today?" (Like they care, lol.)
To that I often reply, "I'm breathing. And you?"

When I worked in retail, they insisted that we take advantage of seeing the name on a customer's credit card to work their name into our goodbye in order to pretend to have relationship with him or her.

It was always off-putting when other salespeople would do it tl me: "how does that guy I met two minutes ago know my name?Oh, right - he read it off my card. So a stranger has been paying close attention to what's stamped on my credit card? Lovely."

I think that wishing a customer a "blessed" day is fine if they know it's welcome. Knowing this involves getting to know the customer a bit.

 

[Phil A. Seaou]

There are endless ways to wish someone well.

Dreams do come true...

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

There are endless ways to wish someone well.

Dreams do come true...

... Satan willing.

 

[Uberpod]

I've had customers who had the same problem you do, what with not understanding that I just wanted to do my job and go home, not be their BFF. I've listened to people vent about countless others. Guess you haven't, huh?

I don't doubt customers have poor boundaries at times and get overly familiar. As a customer- that's not me. When dealing with customers I enjoy trying to establishing a rapport with each one.

"Are you actually reading posts, or just quoting them?"

I said there's no thought in them, not sincerity. If you have to misquote someone to argue with them, then you know you're in the wrong.

I was not misquoting you, I was disagreeing with you. " Empty pleasantries" are best defined as empty in the sense their is no sincerity in them. You are free to disagree.

BTW, I am tired of you taking a 'holier than thou' attitude with your adversaries. You actually detract from your good points by holding your adversaries to higher standards than you yourself practice. There can be simple misunderstandings that are no cause for affront or your attitude following it.

1) There's nothing particularly Christian about "blessed." She could just as easily be pagan.

The precise phrase HABD is having a specific resurgence among particular people for particular reasons. It is particularly Christian in this community. People are specifically adopting the phrase in a business context to establish that they can express religious freedom in the marketplace. These are the same people who want to refuse to make cakes for gays. This stance needs push back. Now, this waitress might be just imitating others and just trying to be pleasant. That still warrants correction so she does not further perpetuate the obnoxious trend.

2) Whatever her religion is, yes, it's absolutely her right to act like it's her religion. Even if she's Christian!

It is wrong to foist her beliefs on others in a business setting.

Never said monster. But only total creepers think it's ok to "use my sexy default" on the waitress for any reason.

I am only seeking parity.

A truce would be "have a nice day," not something calculated to offend her.

It's a phrase that does not offend me. It is unclear if it would offend her.

Thinking she's a bad waitress for not remembering your order and worldview is narcissistic - adjective, not diagnosis.

She forgets my precise order the same day I make it and brings the wrong items, and on more than one occasion. You might think this is fine given how tired you get, but most people would say she needs to improve.

I don't believe you did, but I may have missed a post, as alerts seem unreliable. I didn't even realize this was still going. Feel free to link it.

From post you quoted:

I make a reasonable extrapolation based on the fact that all of my customers in the same community who have used HABD, also have spoken of their status as Godly, Chosen, Good Christian or similar. Because this is a hypothetical based on a real dilemma, I can test my assumptions.

Clearly, I have my own customers.

 

[YmirGF]

There are endless ways to wish someone well.

Dreams do come true...

It is an interesting psychology, for sure. But a stranger wishing that your find the fulfillment of your dreams is a bit more than crass. What if the person you were addressing was a young Pol Pot or a young Adolf Hitler, LOL... Just sayin'...

 

[Storm]

Does anyone here remember people saying "have a blessed day" when they were kids?

I don't personally. I did some Googling and found a few claims that it appeared out of nowhere around 2007, which the Google n-gram viewer seems to back up, give or take a year or two:

Google Ngram Viewer

This makes me think that, depending on who's saying it and their motive behind it, it's a fad at best and a dig at secularism at worst.

Yeah, actually I do.

 

[Phil A. Seaou]

It is an interesting psychology, for sure. But a stranger wishing that your find the fulfillment of your dreams is a bit more than crass. What if the person you were addressing was a young Pol Pot or a young Adolf Hitler, LOL... Just sayin'...

Then he'd just be more interesting?

 

[Storm]

I don't doubt customers have poor boundaries at times and get overly familiar. As a customer- that's not me.

Dude, you're pissed that a waitress doesn't remember you're an atheist. Clearly that is you.

When dealing with customers I enjoy trying to establishing a rapport with each one.

A strong indication that you don't have anywhere near a server's volume of customers. That's frequently not possible, let alone enjoyable.

I was not misquoting you, I was disagreeing with you.

Fine, you're just wrong again.

BTW, I am tired of you taking a 'holier than thou' attitude with your adversaries. You actually detract from your good points by holding your adversaries to higher standards than you yourself practice.

Nope. One standard: I treat people as I see them treat others. Funny how some people just can't stand that, and turn around to whine about how I'm a hypocrite.

There can be simple misunderstandings that are no cause for affront or your attitude following it.

Uh huh.... Like a waitress saying "have a blessed day."

 

[Storm]

Holy crap. This just screams of getting offended when someone wishes to have a good holiday you dont celebrate. Honestly, it really is looking to be offended. Like I said, one can find something to get offended over if they are truly looking to be offended. No matter how innocent the thing may, in actuality, be.

"This Christmas, when someone says "happy holidays," stand your ground! Don't allow cheerful people to express good wishes that aren't worded exactly as you angrily demand."
~ Betty Bowers

Isn't it odd how these same people understand exactly how ridiculous such behavior is when it comes from Christians, but think themselves perfectly reasonable for turning around and doing the very same thing?