Sakeenah
Well-Known Member
I keep flip-flopping between religions and I'm tired of it. I should just learn my lesson - polytheism doesn't really click with me and it's a lonely experience for me. It doesn't bring me peace of mind and I don't really feel the gods, not in the same way I've experienced the Christian God in the past. That's just my experience.
But I am very angry and bitter at Christians, specifically Catholics, for how they have treated me and people like me. I do not feel like I was really accepted as a Catholic. I cannot stand the judgmentalism and hypocrisy. But if I commit to Christianity again, it would have to be Catholicism because I simply can't see myself being a Protestant. Orthodoxy is an option, but that's too culturally foreign to me. I miss going to Mass, I miss the feeling of peace, warmth and love I felt praying and meditating, I miss the sense of wonder. I also would not become some super-conservative type. That's just not me. I know how to reconcile being queer, trans and sex-positive with Christianity, within myself.
I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like my relationship with God and the Church is so broken that it can't be fixed and I'm just fooling myself.
I don't know where I'm going with this post, I'm just tired.
People are never pleased and always have something to say..so don't try pleasing them..do what makes you happy.
May you find guidance,happiness and tranquility