I'll probably be homeless tomorrow.

[Saint Frankenstein]

Frank, go to Walmart today and tell them you want to volunteer. You can move boxes. Then go to other companies on nights and weekends to look for a better job. Let us know how it goes.

I can't continue this discussion now, I have to go to work.

If it were as simple as that, I would've done it years ago. I'm going to the Social Security office next week to apply for benefits.

 

[metis]

So sorry to hear of your situation, and I certainly hope that things improve in a hurry for you and your family. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Jainarayan]

I'm going to the Social Security office next week to apply for benefits.

Excellent move, and best of luck. I don't mean to be a dark cloud on a sunny day, but they may give you a very hard time in granting benefits. Have a good doctor (several doctors is even better) lined up who knows how to fight with them. We went through it with my husband's SSD years ago. They kept sending him to the doctor who said, in effect, "How many times do I have to give them the same answer? You're disabled!" They finally gave him his benefits. Illegitimi non carborundum (Canis Latinicus dialect ).

 

[Sunstone]

Excellent move, and best of luck. I don't mean to be a dark cloud on a sunny day, but they may give you a very hard time in granting benefits. Have a good doctor (several doctors is even better) lined up who knows how to fight with them. We went through it with my husband's SSD years ago. They kept sending him to the doctor who said, in effect, "How many times do I have to give them the same answer? You're disabled!" They finally gave him his benefits. Illegitimi non carborundum (Canis Latinicus dialect ).

Some years ago, I knew several people on SSD. They seemed to all agree that you had to apply at least three times before being accepted.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Excellent move, and best of luck. I don't mean to be a dark cloud on a sunny day, but they may give you a very hard time in granting benefits. Have a good doctor (several doctors is even better) lined up who knows how to fight with them. We went through it with my husband's SSD years ago. They kept sending him to the doctor who said, in effect, "How many times do I have to give them the same answer? You're disabled!" They finally gave him his benefits. Illegitimi non carborundum (Canis Latinicus dialect ).

Oh, I know. My psych nurse gave me the number of a disability lawyer if I'm denied or have problems. I know about how hard it is. But might as well get the process started.

 

[Jainarayan]

OK, good... forewarned is forearmed.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

OK, good... forewarned is forearmed.

Indeed.

 

[George-ananda]

Saint Frank,

You are intelligent. I've seen that in your posts. I would like to sit down, know more and advise and support but that's not possible. I guess this shows compassion is part of the intuitive Truth we all feel regardless of any claimed philosophical or theological positioning.

George-Ananda

 

[illykitty]

Frank, go to Walmart today and tell them you want to volunteer. You can move boxes. Then go to other companies on nights and weekends to look for a better job. Let us know how it goes.

I can't continue this discussion now, I have to go to work.

Maybe you don't understand mental illness, so I won't presume anything about you.

Let me tell you, I tried to do what you just said last year and it went terribly wrong. I volunteered at first, once a week and it went pretty well apart from a few times. Then as time progressed, I started applying for a paying job.

I got one as canteen assistant. It made me terribly depressed, suicidal. I had a few good moments but overall it made me worse. I had such a bad experience from it that I'm scared of trying to work again and feel ashamed.

I went to a psychiatrist (or was it psychologist) and she said I shouldn't work for paid jobs, that I should stop - that volunteering is a better idea. In my case, medication doesn't work either so that's out of the window, I can't take a pill and be better. Therapy was ineffective in the past too.

I still have hope to get better someday. I still try self-help and I'm contemplating giving therapy another go. But you see it's not that easy. You can completely put yourself back into square one if you push too hard. I tried to apply to a part-time job, against the doctor's advice but didn't get it. My interview didn't go all that well, I was scared.

Now I get the impression that Saint is in a worse position than me, so telling him to go out and work is probably not a good idea. I don't know what would help him, but I doubt anyone here knows.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Maybe you don't understand mental illness, so I won't presume anything about you.

Let me tell you, I tried to do what you just said last year and it went terribly wrong. I volunteered at first, once a week and it went pretty well apart from a few times. Then as time progressed, I started applying for a paying job.

I got one as canteen assistant. It made me terribly depressed, suicidal. I had a few good moments but overall it made me worse. I had such a bad experience from it that I'm scared of trying to work again and feel ashamed.

I went to a psychiatrist (or was it psychologist) and she said I shouldn't work for paid jobs, that I should stop - that volunteering is a better idea. In my case, medication doesn't work either so that's out of the window, I can't take a pill and be better. Therapy was ineffective in the past too.

I still have hope to get better someday. I still try self-help and I'm contemplating giving therapy another go. But you see it's not that easy. You can completely put yourself back into square one if you push too hard. I tried to apply to a part-time job, against the doctor's advice but didn't get it. My interview didn't go all that well, I was scared.

Now I get the impression that Saint is in a worse position than me, so telling him to go out and work is probably not a good idea. I don't know what would help him, but I doubt anyone here knows.

:hug:

I only had a paying job for about 3 months before I had to quit because I got injured. Then it was a long and drawn out episode with worker's comp, doctors and lawyers. In the end, I got no help and a bit of "shut up and go away" money. So I have don't much confidence in myself when it comes to working. It makes me scared, like I'll screw it up.

I have done volunteer work, but I was not really consistent at it. I wouldn't show up all the time.

 

[Infinitum]

To give an example of how severe the depression+anxiety can be, my psychologist once suggested I would sit down every day at home and reserve two hours for doing nothing else than school work. I wouldn't really need to do anything, just sit there and do a little bit if I was able to. Simply her talking to me about the subject triggered a severe anxiety attack that I had absolutely no conscious control over. My body wanted to roll up even while I was capable of calmly observing it from the outside, including the intense negative emotions (fear, paranoia, suicidal thinking) that came with it.

Imagine this happening on a work place where someone asks you to do the simplest task, like handing them a broom stick. Any amount of stress can cause you serious damage and if you had a job, you would most likely lose it very quickly. At worst your boss would have no understanding on how to handle a depressed/anxious person and could risk pushing your mental state into an even more dangerous place. At best you would afterwards be embarrassed and even more depressed for feeling like a failure. When a person says they can't work because of depression, it's not just about not having the mental energy for it. There are genuine risks related to it, as illykitty mentioned earlier. The point is to start feeling better at some point, not drive you closer to the edge of doing something irrevocably stupid.

 

[Twilight Hue]

To give an example of how severe the depression+anxiety can be, my psychologist once suggested I would sit down every day at home and reserve two hours for doing nothing else than school work. I wouldn't really need to do anything, just sit there and do a little bit if I was able to. Simply her talking to me about the subject triggered a severe anxiety attack that I had absolutely no conscious control over. My body wanted to roll up even while I was capable of calmly observing it from the outside, including the intense negative emotions (fear, paranoia, suicidal thinking) that came with it.

Imagine this happening on a work place where someone asks you to do the simplest task, like handing them a broom stick. Any amount of stress can cause you serious damage and if you had a job, you would most likely lose it very quickly. At worst your boss would have no understanding on how to handle a depressed/anxious person and could risk pushing your mental state into an even more dangerous place. At best you would afterwards be embarrassed and even more depressed for feeling like a failure. When a person says they can't work because of depression, it's not just about not having the mental energy for it. There are genuine risks related to it, as illykitty mentioned earlier. The point is to start feeling better at some point, not drive you closer to the edge of doing something irrevocably stupid.

Staying placid i take would be worse. There needs to be something affirmative done to address anxiety. I suffer as well but it won't stop me from running toward the anxiety and stare it right in the face so to speak. Complacency won't free you from that mental prison. I think thats a good therapy to address anxiety in it's full onset and work with it full blast and repeat.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I was really relieved to hear that someone had offered to help out. I hope you are feeling better today, Frank.

Best wishes to you and your mother.

 

[ametist]

It was probably coming for a while and now it is here. Again perhaps you dont have to do anything but just watch things happen. Whatever happens you will see that it is not that bad and in a stronger moment when a good opportunity come it will all get better.

 

[ScottySatan]

If I'd lost it all like what almost just happened to you, I'd kill myself too. I've come from stock who have lost it all and have killed themselves or should have. I understand the reality. People come in with a knee-jerk reaction that you shouldn't do it but they can never give a really good reason why. They're just following what society has told them. It is not unusual or sinful in a lot of the world to voluntarily die when you become a burden, have fulfilled your requirements, are in pain or near death, or most of all, no longer a part of society (e.g. homeless).

"I would feel real trapped if I didn't know that I could commit suicide at any moment."
-Hunter S. Thompson

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

If I'd lost it all like what almost just happened to you, I'd kill myself too. I've come from stock who have lost it all and have killed themselves or should have. I understand the reality. People come in with a knee-jerk reaction that you shouldn't do it but they can never give a really good reason why. They're just following what society has told them. It is not unusual or sinful in a lot of the world to voluntarily die when you become a burden, have fulfilled your requirements, are in pain or near death, or most of all, no longer a part of society (e.g. homeless).

"I would feel real trapped if I didn't know that I could commit suicide at any moment."
-Hunter S. Thompson

Very true. I know people are being nice and all, but it really doesn't help when you're feeling like that. It especially doesn't help when people get angry over expressing how you honestly feel. Sometimes you just need some understanding. It's not wrong to feel suicidal. It's not something we should encourage, either. But sometimes you just need someone to listen. I called my therapist and told her that my mom and I wanted to kill ourselves, and she didn't give me a knee jerk response. She just listened to me.

I don't really want to die but I know I could not handle losing everything and being on the streets. I wouldn't want to live.

 

[ScottySatan]

On the other side of the coin, I've heard a lot of doctors make a good point against elective suicide as a medical procedure. Too many people would give up too early.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

On the other side of the coin, I've heard a lot of doctors make a good point against elective suicide as a medical procedure. Too many people would give up too early.

That's a good point. I really don't support suicide at all and elective suicide is in a gray area. But I totally understand it if you're terminally ill. It's tragic.

 

[oldbadger]

That's a good point. I really don't support suicide at all and elective suicide is in a gray area. But I totally understand it if you're terminally ill. It's tragic.

High Saint..... are you totally sorted out now?
It looks like it, but I thought I would ask.

 

[oldbadger]

Simply her talking to me about the subject triggered a severe anxiety attack that I had absolutely no conscious control over. My body wanted to roll up even while I was capable of calmly observing it from the outside, including the intense negative emotions (fear, paranoia, suicidal thinking) that came with it.

Imagine this happening on a work place where someone asks you to do the simplest task, like handing them a broom stick. Any amount of stress can cause you serious damage and if you had a job, you would most likely lose it very quickly.

Hello Infinitum.....
I'm sure the Saint won't mind if I ask you a question....

Can an anxiety attack happen if you are just sitting quietly and watching, say, a film that you are enjoying?

What actually happens in an anxiety attack? Shaking? Hot or cold? Heartbeat massively increased? Do you feel a bit dizzy? Do you feel that you could run a hundred yards fast? Is your breathing all over the place? Do you feel like somebody just jumped out at you in a darkened street? Balance OK?

Do you ever feel totally relaxed?