Inexorable Consequences

[4consideration]

If biker gangs want you for pleasure, you will teach them all how to take pleasure in being sweet.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you teach a biker gang to be sweet, you will have sealed their doom to be conquered by other gangs.

 

[4consideration]

If they are conquered by other gangs, they will teach those gangs to be sweet.
If they teach those gangs to be sweet, those gangs will do the same for other gangs that conquer them.
If those gangs do the same for other gangs that conquer them, being sweet will become the new norm.
If being sweet becomes the new norm, there will be peace on earth.

 

[BSM1]

If there is peace on earth, you will find no reason to discuss anything else.

 

[4consideration]

If you find no reason to discuss anything else, you will spend your time in blissful appreciation of what is.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you spend your time in blissful appreciation of what is, you will forget to pay the hydro (that's what they call electricity in Canuckistan) bill.

 

[Secret Chief]

If you don't pay the leccy, panties will remain unwashed.
(For those that care)

 

[Revoltingest]

If the panties remain unwashed, deviants will offer to buy them.

 

[BSM1]

If deviants offer to buy them, you will put them on ebay.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you put soiled undies on ebay, you will be unable to keep up with demand.

 

[BSM1]

If you are unable to keep up with the demand, you will hire part-time panty soilers.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you hire part-time pantie soilers, you will have to create a personnel department.

 

[BSM1]

If you create a personnel department, you will have to buy a computer.
If you buy a computer, you will get the internet.
If you get the internet, you will spend hours making semi-witty posts on some forum.

 

[AdamsDream]

If you get bored of spending hours making semi-witted posts on some forum, you 'll seek out porn.
If you seek out porn you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome.
If you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome you'll need a voice-activated computer

 

[Revoltingest]

If you get bored of spending hours making semi-witted posts on some forum, you 'll seek out porn.
If you seek out porn you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome.
If you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome you'll need a voice-activated computer

If you need a voice-activated computer, you will go to the store to get one.
If you go to the store to get one, an attractive sales lady named Bubbles will entice you to get AI software instead.

 

[BSM1]

If Bubbles entices you to get AI software instead, you will realize that between the software and you, the software is smarter.
If you realize the software is smarter, you will go back to the store for a refund.
If you go back to the store for a refund, you will find that Bubbles has left town.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you find that Bubbles has left town, you will track her down.
If you track her down, you will follow a trail of broken hearts & ill advised software purchases.
If you follow a trail of broken hearts & ill advised software purchases, you will confront her.
If you confront Bubbles, you will forgive her & fall for her.

 

[BSM1]

If you forgive her and fall for her, you will leave your wife and kids for her.
If you leave your wife and kids for her, you will travel from town to town with her.
If you travel from town to town with her, you will loose her to the lead singer in an all girl retro punk band.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you lose her to the lead singer in an all girl retro punk band, you will hitch hike home.
If you hitch hike home, you will be picked up by an old high school friend.
If you're picked up by an old high school friend, you will stop for a beer.
If you stop for a beer, you will try karaoke.

 

[BSM1]

If you try karaoke, you will discover your hidden talent for reading scrolling lyrics.
If you discover your hidden talent for reading scrolling lyrics, you will be asked to give inspirational talks to inmates at medium security prisons