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He is not the very model of a modern major general !He wants to sing and dance and be a pirate on The Pirates of Penzance, but he's got no pants.
His name is actually "DavidFirss", but his lisp distorts his moniker.
(I like to get him to say "Suffering Succotash!".)
Has two left feet and can only use 'Firth Ready' manufactured items.
Isn't skilled at computerie things.
He got bought his Scottish genes at a thrift shop.