No solution is perfect or universal, but I've found this one beats all others. Especially with religious folk whose teachings lead them to deny the inherent nature of gay & trans status, I've found them amenable to science based argument. To be friendly, civil & seeking common ground with them opens doors. There's no one more convincing than a lovable atheist.
So you don't like my approach. What's your alternative?
It isn't that I don't like it. It is that I have found as a queer that it only works for those who are not in denial.
Perhaps it works more for you because you're straight? This is where allies are powerful voices by educating other straights.
Male allies are powerful voices when they educate other males on the real struggles of women.
Cis allies are powerful voices when educating other cis people on the real struggle of trans people.
And on and on.
I'm letting you and others know that when those who are not disadvantaged deny the struggles exist, we all know it isn't malicious.
Yes, we know that. Nobody means to hurt anyone else. We get that.
But let's get it out there...denial does indeed hurt people who are disadvantaged. It does indeed perpetuate inequality.
It does not hurt me to recognize how the color of my skin has protected me from certain social and cultural phenomena. I am not "guilty" of anything by recognizing how I fit the description of a societal ideal skin color. It does not hurt me to recognize my name doesn't sound too ethnic, and places me at an advantage for business or job hunts.
It DOES hurt me when my risk for being sexually assaulted is denied as actually in existence, and especially so when I am told I am all alone in figuring out how to mitigate my risks.