Product Warnings and Instructions
These days of opportunisitic litigations have given rise to curious defensive product warnings and instructions. I share a few goodies with you below. Send me your favorites!
ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE - Do not drive car or operate machinery
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID) - Warning: may cause drowsiness
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE - Warning keep out of children
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS - Warning: contains nuts
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?
ON A SUPERMAN CONSTUME - This suit does not enable the wearer to fly
ON A STEERING-LOCK (bar-like anti-theft device to prevent moving steering wheel) - Caution, remove before driving car
ON A WINDSHIELD SUNSHADE - Remove before driving car.
ON A BOX CONTAINING A SHOWER CAP (in a five-star hotel at Eliat, Red Sea, Israel) - Nylon shower cap. Fits one head.
ON A NEW ZEALAND CIVIL DEFENCE POSTER exhibited around Christchurch (thanks to John Adeane of ChCh who reported it to the SMH Column 8 of 1 May 2002): In event of a Tidal Wave, don't go down and stand on the beach to watch it come in.
COLUMN 8, Sydney Morning Herald, 22 Jan 2007: "My husband and I, and our three children, have recently moved to New York," Sarah Silverton writes. "We're finding life in the litigious US quite an adjustment. Firstly, our six-year-old son Oliver was almost barred from a birthday party because I had not signed an 'accident waiver,' and then Santa felt compelled to attach the following notice to the scooters he delivered: 'Warning. This object moves."'
