Yes, you are absolutely right. It is the failed Christian that has the nastiest of mouths, and delivers the most unpleasant and horrendous rhetoric, to anyone remotely religious. They were incapable of living the moralistic lifestyle needed to reach true conversion, as a lamb of Christs flock, so they berate and lambaste christianity in there feeble attempts to get others to leave by the same door.
I did not say this. I don't refer to ExChristians as "failed Christians". In fact I think there are very few Christians who are Christian, as G. K. Chesterson said, "Christianity hasn't failed. Christianity hasn't been tried yet", and I would say that is true on the whole. No, I said "former Christians", meaning those who have left the religion. If Christianity itself hasn't been tried yet, then atheists aren't "failed Christians", Christians are "failed Christians". Those who have left them can in fact be on a more spiritual path, one that needs to break free from the shackles of a "failed religion".
So what you have then are those struggling to find freedom, not from morality or responsibility, but from the bondage of a failed religious system. I would say they are more moral, and more responsible than most of the most religious Christians I have seen. Why? Because they don't excuse themselves saying they are obeying a higher authority. They take responsibility alone, and alone stand or fall. They love, not because they are obliged to love, but because they choose to love, not for reward from God, but the reward of simply being good. In other words, they are free to be more spiritual because they are no longer afraid of a God who threatens them to "be good or else". Without that fear, Spirit is served, if not in name, certainly in action.
What about the anger and vitriol then? 'That's not good', you will say. I consider that actually a normal and healthy reaction that one goes through when they've managed to break free from an unhealthy relationship. It's normal for people to be angry as part of the stages of grief one goes through with any extreme loss in their lives. And when that anger is expressed, often times it's just irrational. Think of their having rejected a religion that has failed them miserably like someone leaving an abusive relationship. Yes, they're going to be mad as hell once they are able to be free from it and start to heal! That anger is part of the healing process.
The above is normal, and healthy. What is not healthy however is what I said before that when all that remains, year and year after year is bitterness and cynicism. Think of it in terms of any human relationship. If after a divorce a man spends the rest of his life "hating women" (or a woman hating all men), that is in fact a failure in them to let go and take advantage to grow. It's no longer about the religion, in this case, but about them and their own bitterness. You find them too with the freshly out of religion atheists, trolling forums endlessly bashing believers, trying to bring them down. It's about them at this point, not about the religion. They are the ones who when presented with reasonable points of view demonstrate their own brand of irrationality against all religions, very much the way in my former example someone spends their whole life irrational seeing all men, or all women as the same. In summary, there is a difference between being angry and becoming bitter and irrational.
There are distinctions to be made in how those who are atheists may apply here as well. There is no one size fits all, atheists, religionists, men, women, etc blanket categories. I'd be careful not to broad-brush others the same as you feel they do you. As Gandhi once said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". Wise words.
It makes it easier to reconcile their failure and come to terms with it.
What I have not heard from you was what I was hoping to was to hear where you feel the religion failed them. Can you try that? Can you try to see from the others point of view and maybe understand their complaints, setting aside both their angry statements and your natural self-defensiveness to them? It's hard to do, but quite amazing what happens to you when you do. It's the first step to truly being self-responsible, looking at yourself through others eyes.
A very bitter failed Christian.
Or maybe they are trying to heal and become a better person away from a religion that failed them? Isn't this possible too?
Real atheists are tame in comparison to these embittered narcissistic psychopaths.
Isn't making it personal what you complain about them doing? To me a true Christian response would be compassion, which requires seeing their hurt and what is behind it and taking responsibility if it is appropriate, or offering a healing response, rather than passing judgment on them and returning like injury for injury.
Yes, I agree with you, whole heartedly, and unreservedly, it is those, who, I believe, have failed themselves, who use the most odious diatribe.
Why do you assume they have failed themselves? Ask them if they are more happy now, if they feel they have become better people for having left the religion. Would that be something you'd be willing to accept is true for them? You have to ask yourself that question with all sincerity to judge your own motivations. Do others have to believe like you do religiously in order for you to be happy for them? If so, is that really Love?
I was never, ever, able to become a fully fledged Mormon, despite my arduous attempts to, so I left it. I left it without a morsel of bitterness or regret, and I never bad mouthed it, or the things that I disagreed with it.
No everyone's departure is uneventful. Some, like yours may have been, or it could also be being repressed, which happens too. For a lot of people, it all comes out in a gush and they have to get it out of them, they have to reclaim what was stolen from them. Be care not to do what is easy to do, and assume your experience is how everyone else's should be. It's perfectly normal for different responses at different times for people.
The fundamental difference is that a motorcyclist can be injured through the choices of other motorists, making their own choices insignificant, Christians, essentually, only have themselves to blame.
Well, that's not true at all! Other Christians inflict great harm on others. Some of the very worst sorts of harm in fact, far worse than breaking your bones in a biking accident! Psychological damage if far worse than physical. Spiritual damage is even deeper! My God, the church has imprisoned and damaged countless beautiful souls, trying to force them to fit into a system under their control. I could fill pages talking about this. Psychotherapists earn the greatest percentage of their incomes because of the damage inflicted on youth in so many of these religious schools. It's incalculable.
No, they do in fact have religion to blame, and themselves to take credit for the almost unimaginably heroic efforts and drives to be able to break themselves free from it. I honestly believe that for most atheists who have broken free from religion it is because they have what you could call, greater faith, than those who merely toe the line of doctrine. They respond to that which harms the soul at all cost, breaking from friends and family, security and acceptance, etc. This is in fact very much what early Christians did! Imagine that one, if you will!
Was Jesus mad at the the Pharisees of his day? Would Christians consider Jesus an atheist today? I tend to imagine they might.
Only the individual can receive the converting influence and testimony of the Holy Ghost. The choice is simple, Yes or No.
Yes or no to what? Being part of a religion, or yes or no to breaking free to become truly alive spiritually? To me, the latter is the correct answer in the affirmative. To say "Yes Lord,"might mean saying goodbye to your religion. Agreed? Is it necessary to be religious to serve Love? What do you think God would care about?
Does my response surprise you?
I'm leaving out a lot in response as it's rather long already, and I think it establishes my main points well enough. I'm hoping to hear a little more concession and less blame on your part towards others, as I consider that more in accord with Christian teaching. It's something I'd like to see in more people who claim the Christian religion as their own. I think there might be a lot less of the anger you see from those who leave her as they pursue what works for them in service to good.
Now, is my response surprising to you? I would hope it makes sense at the heart level.
