Male Gay Characteristics

[Dao Hao Now]

So.... what could she have been making this assessment on? Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

Presuming you don’t outwardly project stereotypical tendencies.
Perhaps if she was aware of your not succumbing to another woman’s advances, and a lack of attempting to seduce her….
if you add some hubris on her part, she may write that off in her mind as “well then, he must be gay”?

 

[Secret Chief]

Presuming you don’t outwardly project stereotypical tendencies.
Perhaps if she was aware of your not succumbing to another woman’s advances, and a lack of attempting to seduce her….
if you add some hubris on her part, she may write that off in her mind as “well then, he must be gay”?

My god it's a complicated world out there.

 

[ChristineM]

My god it's a complicated world out there.

Just ignore it, it will go away eventually

 

[Secret Chief]

Just ignore it, it will go away eventually

That's true.

 

[ChristineM]

That's true.

I did mean the world, not your new suitor

 

[Vinayaka]

This was unexpected...
A woman that I have worked with for about a year somehow managed to mention in conversation that she had assumed I was gay. Have you not heard me mention the word "wife" I asked. She had, but it didn't seem crucial in her assessment. I was bemused. She became embarrassed so I didn't ask how she had come to this apparently obvious conclusion.
(It's not that long ago that a woman was seriously hitting on me so I don't think I'm the most camp man on the planet).
So.... what could she have been making this assessment on? Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

I was often suspected of being gay. As an elementary male school teacher, I talked to women a lot, was sort of 'motherly' with my students, and never hit on any women in any way at all. I laughed it off.

 

[Secret Chief]

I was often suspected of being gay. As an elementary male school teacher, I talked to women a lot, was sort of 'motherly' with my students, and never hit on any women in any way at all. I laughed it off.

I tick some of those - I'm a teaching assistant, my department is me and about 10 women and I do no "hitting on." I don't do motherly though.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

I can't answer, but I've had a similar experience, when I was about 19 and in the Army. I had been hitting on a neighbor Susie without success. One day, she invited me to join her at a party. We got pretty high, and then she left unbeknownst to me. A guy asked me to dance with him. That's when I realized it was all men there. I was high, alone, had no ride home, and in unfamiliar territory. Oh, Susie!

Later, I asked Susie about it, and she informed me that gay mutual acquaintance living in the same building had told her, "That guy's as gay as a gopher." She seemed to think that she was doing me a favor taking me to that party.

In case you're wondering, Susie eventually gave me what I wanted, but I think she still believed I was gay. Anyway, that phrase gay-as-a-gopher was burned into my memory that day for life. I'm literally audibly laughing (LOL) while typing this.

 

[Brickjectivity]

So.... what could she have been making this assessment on?

She may find interpersonal relationships to be fascinating, and she may be very interested in gay people. Maybe she find them stimulating. When somebody wants to see something, sometimes it affects what they see. Another possibility is that it can come out of overcautious intent or overly helpful intent.

Also perhaps somebody else suggested that you might be gay. That happens a lot to random men.

 

[VoidCat]

A dick in their mouth. Or a guy on their arm.

Even then i wouldnt make assumptions. Person could be bi/pan...

 

[McBell]

At last it's just the gaydar
In my case, I have a few autistic traits and my entire people-dar is broken. I also don't notice when people are angry at me or trying to flirt. And when one of my cousins grew a beard, I mistook him for his sister's new boyfriend until he opened his mouth and I recognized his voice.

My youngest daughter has all manner of problems with social cues.
She also has the condition where she does not see faces.
That is not what it is exactly, but since I am not familiar with the technical terms, I do not know how better to describe it.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

My youngest daughter has all manner of problems with social cues.
She also has the condition where she does not see faces.
That is not what it is exactly, but since I am not familiar with the technical terms, I do not know how better to describe it.

I believe that is called Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness. Sorry, outside of that, I know pretty much nothing about it.

 

[McBell]

I believe that is called Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness. Sorry, outside of that, I know pretty much nothing about it.

Yes, face blindness.
I have no idea how to pronounce the big "P" word and there is no way I will be able to spell it correctly without copying it.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

I was often suspected of being gay. As an elementary male school teacher, I talked to women a lot, was sort of 'motherly' with my students, and never hit on any women in any way at all. I laughed it off.

As an elementary school student in Ottawa in Grade 3, I was absolutely in love my teacher Mr. Bell. I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it, but I really wanted to take him home with me. For some reason, he never seems to have noticed.

 

[Vinayaka]

As an elementary school student in Ottawa in Grade 3, I was absolutely in love my teacher Mr. Bell. I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it, but I really wanted to take him home with me. For some reason, he never seems to have noticed.

What you said before about gaydar being pretty off, and difficult to determine, also applied to students. Occasionally I had suspicions, and once did find out that a former student came out, but I really had absolutely no clue. When a female colleague (and friend, and parent of a kid in my class) asked me one day if we could have a private chat, I had absolutely no idea she was about to come out to me. She was worried that my religion would have negative ideas about it. We laughed about her fears later, and she ended up being one of very few colleagues open enough to want to come to my temple with me for a 'tour'.

 

[Estro Felino]

So in order to be attracted to women, Italians believe that you have to be willing to sexually harass or assault them?

No. Just catcalling. Culturally accepted.

 

[JustGeorge]

What you said before about gaydar being pretty off, and difficult to determine, also applied to students. Occasionally I had suspicions, and once did find out that a former student came out, but I really had absolutely no clue. When a female colleague (and friend, and parent of a kid in my class) asked me one day if we could have a private chat, I had absolutely no idea she was about to come out to me. She was worried that my religion would have negative ideas about it. We laughed about her fears later, and she ended up being one of very few colleagues open enough to want to come to my temple with me for a 'tour'.

As a teen, I met a new friend on the bus. I had blue hair, she had purple hair. I had stars painted on my cheeks, she had curly-qs on hers. We exchanged numbers and quickly became friends. I could tell right away she was into women, but I didn't perceive her as being interested in me(she wasn't, she said later, she could instantly tell I was straight). No problem.

I remember her making a big production a month or two later. She needed to tell me something important, and said it might impact our friendship. I was worried. She told me she was a lesbian. I waited for the news. She said nothing more. I asked her what she needed to tell me. "That was it!" she said. I told her I knew that the day I met her. Why should I care? After the initial shock, we both had a good laugh.

 

[Tamino]

My youngest daughter has all manner of problems with social cues.
She also has the condition where she does not see faces.
That is not what it is exactly, but since I am not familiar with the technical terms, I do not know how better to describe it.

Uh oh. Has she been tested for autism?
In the past, it was assumed to be a condition that affects boys only, and often went undiagnosed in females. But recently it has been found that they can be equally affected, they just tend to mask it better and the symptoms may manifest differently.
And instead of autism, we now tend to call it ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, because there's a whole lot of traits that may or may not be present in one person. I got away with a light form, I just have a few traits and not too extreme, but it still affects me.

It cannot be healed - our brains are just wired differently. But if you know what you're dealing with, you can consciously employ coping strategies, because this world ist not built to our convenience.
So I would suggest to have your daughter tested. It doesn't need to disrupt your lives, it can just give you a few answers and some tricks how to cope.

Btw.
Prosopagnosia
Prosopon - Greek for "face"
A - prefix for negation
Gnosis - knowledge, intuitive understanding
Speak
"Pro-sop-ah-gnow-see-yah"

...faces are a mystery, ancient Greek not so much. Welcome to the spectrum

 

[Mock Turtle]

I've had many close male friends over the years but never had any sexual attraction towards any of them, given that I seem to be heterosexual as to who lights my fire. I have had a few males hit on me - perhaps because I was I suppose quite handsome - and had girls do the same.

One incident relating to the experience of @Secret Chief was when I was helping out during a flat removal with one friend. A girl involved in this asked my friend if I used make-up - perhaps implying I was gay and a ''special friend' of his - but where it was just dust from all the stuff we were handling. He wasn't gay either and got married not so long after this.

 

[Estro Felino]

I've had many close male friends over the years but never had any sexual attraction towards any of them, given that I seem to be heterosexual as to who lights my fire. I have had a few males hit on me - perhaps because I was I suppose quite handsome - and had girls do the same.

One incident relating to the experience of @Secret Chief was when I was helping out during a flat removal with one friend. A girl involved in this asked my friend if I used make-up - perhaps implying I was gay and a ''special friend' of his - but where it was just dust from all the stuff we were handling. He wasn't gay either and got married not so long after this.

The British society is very gay-friendly.
Strangely the most homophobic people in my country are not men. Absolutely not. Because men couldn't care less if other men are gay.
The most homophobic people in Italy are women.
Because they cannot tolerate that in their husband or partner there is even the slightest speck of bisexuality.
It's a vaginocentric vision of the world: in their brain man needs to be into vagina exclusively, because woman feels like she is at the center of the male universe.
For instance, I have seen marriages end because of homosexual affairs.
In Sicily I have never seen marriages terminate because the husband slept with another woman.