hope this little shrugging shoulders emoticon isn't too creepy for your heightened and refined sense of awareness
^ this is clearly sarcastic. And uncalled for. I doubt Zeeker designed that emoticon, why should he be offended that I find it creepy? I showed it to my girlfriend, and she thinks it's creepy too.
After several posts, I still don't get it. How can you have veered so far from objectivity that you can't see when you are being mean or snarky? Have I offended you so much that you have to insult me in your passive-aggressive way?
(I realized when I said "witness" that someone would intellectualize the statement. I meant the word in the sense that I saw something occur first hand, not that I was called to the stand. If you don't wish to understand something, you won't. What about the chemical mixing analogy? I wrote that one because I anticipated your remark.)
(as for "long hours", I knew was going to get a negative reaction no matter what amount of time I wrote. I meant "long hours at a time" or "several hours in a day" but you chose to interpret it as "a total of several hours over your eight years on the path". You probably knew what I meant, but your goal here seems to be to simply attack my character. I understand that, and I also know that appeals to your sense of reason, fairness, or common decency will be futile.)
If I asked you or Zeeker, you would both undoubtedly say that you are spiritual and good, upstanding people. But you are rude, unbelievably rude to me here. Zeeker talks to me in a condescending way, as if I am brainwashed or unable to think for myself.
One of the first things I learned was to be respectful of the spiritual practice of others. If you are at peace with yourself, why do you feel a need to be rude? I know people feel there is no accountability online, but perhaps you could step back and ask yourself why you would choose to express negativity to someone you don't know, just because they don't agree with your point of view. Is it not possible to be civil, even if you feel strongly about something? Am I suddenly your enemy, simply because I do not agree with you?
People have talked about plagiarism in this thread, and I wonder that you don't worry about the fact that what you're doing here is essentially libel. I can understand why you feel you are justified, end_of_faith, because to you it's the truth. Fine, I acknowledge that you believe what you are saying, so I won't accuse you of just spreading lies. But for others in this thread, they just latch on to anything and say whatever, and no amount of hateful speculation is too low to stoop to. It is not legal, and certainly not ethical, to impugn another person's character without factual evidence.
Gary teaches things. I practice those teachings. I experience profound awakening and expansion in my consciousness. End of faith, you have so far not addressed this point, and it seems you vacillate between defending your own spiritual practice (which I have never questioned or said anything negative about), and attacking Gary or another chela.
Writing in this thread is something of a new experience for me. It's like the rules of common decency are suspended for you. You feel that a certain point of view gives you free license to be rude, sarcastic, and say bad things about Gary (and automatically, any chela that posts here!) Any time another chela has posted here, you and others jump on him or her like circling sharks. Being angry does not make you immune to the karmic effects of what you're doing.
No chela I know would ever behave the way you do, end_of_faith. I know you're not a chela anymore, but I would have thought that the same desire for spirituality and search for god would lead you to treat your fellow travelers with decency and respect. Isn't that what your own personal path should bring you? You still have not contemplated why more than 2000 (My girlfriend who volunteers at the office told me that her initial estimate was off because there are hundreds of chelas that don't receive mailings anymore. There are in excess of 2000 chelas now.) of people still believe that Gary is the real thing, and that only you and a handful of other ex chelas are violently opposed. Like I said, I know some ex-chelas, and I know some seekers who did not join the path, and none of them have been negative about Gary, even if they didn't believe he was the outer master. You must believe that the vast majority of us are simply deluded, or easily led, or have no ability to judge truth for ourselves. Have you asked yourself how likely this is? That you are not on the path is fine--no one disputes your personal decision. Saying very negative things about the path, random chelas, and the master is not so good. And yet you feel this is a spiritual thing to do!! Why would we still be on the path if Gary or the path is a fraud? It doesn't make any sense to me. I speak with these people, and they all experience the same profound things I do. You're basically saying that 2000+ people are suffering from a mass delusion, and you're saying it very publicly, I might add.
I feel love towards everyone, yes, you and Zeeker included, but you seem only capable of disdain and scorn for me. I would ask that you go back to my first posts here, and read them, and see that I did was try to provide some objective counterpoint to the vast amount of negativity in this thread. People are quick to judge, and like in school, the loudest people get the most attention. I felt it would be good to provide some balance to the discussion because some people are easily swayed by the simple volume of negativity.
After those first posts, my purpose has been simple. End_of_faith, you incur bad karma by being negative to your fellow souls, to say nothing about the outer master. Fine, you don't think he's the outer master, so there can't be any repercussions, right? Well, I don't expect your mind to agree with me anyway, but the attempt had to be made, out of love. And who knows, maybe a part of you will sense my sincerity. Maybe it won't, and will be offended, and that will be that. You've probably already received such warnings anyway, but I was moved to mention it.
I once took a job at a greenhouse nursery just to practice simran while planting seedlings. So, I hardly think you are in a position to assess my 'sincerity' or understanding of the 'path.'
You are rude to strangers and seem unaware of it at the same time (or at least you don't give a hoot if you are, and have a nice chuckle to yourself.). You don't think I'm subtle enough to notice your sarcasm, your passive-aggressive behavior, and your outright character attacks. So, no, I don't know anything about your actual spiritual practice, but I can see the effects that you are manifesting quite clearly. By the way, this is one of the benefits of having an outer master. There's an influence in our lives that calls us to task for our negative behavior. We become accountable to ourselves, and we realize that every nasty comment and every negative thought has its karmic backlash.
PS
I remember one of the first inner experiences during a spiritual practice in the late 80's. Awaking at 3 am to sit in asana, with eyes closed, body still, & attention focused in the tisra til. As the body numbed, the consciousness was enraptured by a vortex of swirling, formless energy. It was peaceful, amazing, and calming. It left me without need to speak or describe it to anyone.
On a completely different note, this sounds like a beautiful experience. Keep that feeling with you during every moment, and you can't go wrong.
