godobeyer said:
you don't respect me when I beat my "insubordinate wife" , i would not respect you when you let your wife talking with forgiens , and dance and kiss cheeks, by the name of "freedom and trust" .
see how we see the things extremely different ?
First off, I'm not married. So your claims of allowing "my wife" run free are meaningless to me.
And even I was married to some woman, I wouldn't treat her like a slave and punish her for disobedience or insubordination, which you have said would do. It is your sick fantasy, not mine.
godobeyer said:
yeah I respect all the woman even my willing wife , we are talking in specific/rare case, happened between the wife and her husband .
when they love each other , but she insubordinate him for no reason . he talked to her
she did not respond!! , he did not sleep with her , she did not respond !!, he beat (soflty) her she did not respond !!, she ask to gother arbitors for her family and his family, she did not respond !!, now he had the choice divorce her or live with her in patient .
How can you claim to respect woman if she had do all you wish and punish her when she doesn't meet to your expectation?
You talk of insubordination as if you was a king or slave-master as if a wife is like a common soldier or a servant or slave, certainly not as wife.
The Qur'an itself treat the woman, particularly a wife, as a property. The verse - 4:34 - only speak of woman doing wrong, and not the husband. The verse is treating woman-wife as if the fault could only be hers, and never the husband. Relationship is not so black-and-white as this stupid and misogynistic verse is portraying. Rarely the fault is just one person.
What if her so-called "disobedience" have to do with your wrongdoing and your own stupidity?
Going to her family as arbiter is not the solution.
The solution is that you have to listen or speak to her as if she is your equal, not talk down on her like she is your bl@#dy slave. Talking down to a woman is something what a tyrant would do. Understand that her so-called disobedience may be only "effect", and you may be the "cause" of the problem by your own behaviour or your own action. (You have heard of "cause-and-effect", haven't you?)