Muslims: Keeping the wife "in line"

[Straw Dog]

domestic violence exist only in Muslim homes ?
i have a suppose to you if you have the choice , do you would prefer to marry woman respect you and obey or a rebellious woman ?
women here are live in peace, and we love we each other , don't worry , they obey us and we love them more than our selves .

Obviously, domestic violence may exist within any cultural context. In my particular culture, the woman that respects you the most happens to be the one that is most liberated within her own being. Respect and rebellion are not mutually exclusive. I do love my female partner probably more than myself, but I do not expect her to obey in all circumstances especially if it is inconsistent with her own nature. She also loves me, possibly more than she loves her self, but does not expect me to obey her in all circumstances especially if it's inconsistent with my own true nature. It is an equal partnership in my particular culture.

my fiancé want to obey me and be her master , where is the problem ? she even accept me to marry second wife if i want .

Does she accept because she is told to accept via tradition or social coercion, or because she accepts by virtue of her true nature? I'm willing to concede that social harmony is possible within the scheme that you're professing, but I still wonder if it would result after a period of self-actualization?

 

[Godobeyer]

Obviously, domestic violence may exist within any cultural context. In my particular culture, the woman that respects you the most happens to be the one that is most liberated within her own being. Respect and rebellion are not mutually exclusive. I do love my female partner probably more than myself, but I do not expect her to obey in all circumstances especially if it is inconsistent with her own nature. She also loves me, possibly more than she loves her self, but does not expect me to obey her in all circumstances especially if it's inconsistent with my own true nature. It is an equal partnership in my particular culture.

good , that what i want to hear .

Does she accept because she is told to accept via tradition or social coercion, or because she accepts by virtue of her true nature? I'm willing to concede that social harmony is possible within the scheme that you're professing, but I still wonder if it would result after a period of self-actualization?

because she loved and respect me ,she accepted .

 

[Breathe]

my fiancé want to obey me and be her master , where is the problem ? she even accept me to marry second wife if i want .

What if she says no to you marrying a second wife?
What if she says "no" to some things you say?

 

[Godobeyer]

btw , i propose a suppose , you have to choice , between live with rebelious or obedience wife , which one you would choose ? ( I guess in this time you will tell me i would mary any one of them )

if your wife becomes rebellious ? you would wish that she would be obedience ? and if she obey you , you will tell her , plz don't obey me , i hate the obedience wifes

 

[Godobeyer]

What if she says no to you marrying a second wife?

we make deal about this , and she accepted

What if she says "no" to some things you say?

could all the issue could be discussed , but for exemple , if she disbobey me and go out without my permission , i will divorce her and try to find another woman , and if they do the same .
in this time , i will change my mind , i will prefer to marry non-muslim (Christain or jewish ) woman (because they will say the same "NO" ),and because maybe , my life will be good with her in the west .

accuatly we some times you should choice the less worest decision . between two bad choices .

 

[Pegg]

my fiancé want to obey me and be her master , where is the problem ? she even accept me to marry second wife if i want .

May i respectfully ask you, what is the purpose for you in taking another wife?

 

[Sakeenah]

Godobeyer I have a nice story for you..I was listening to a lecture the shaykh(scholar) was talking about the rights of the wife..he was saying that the wife has right to be treated good and that those who beat there wife are opressive and insecure men..so he told a story about somehting he and a few others did when they were studying in a islamic univerisity in saudi-arabia..there was a friend of them ..one of the students who use to hit his wife..they use to advise him to treat her well but he kept on doing it..so one day they said to him that they were going to the desert with a group so he went with them..so once they got there.. they beat him up..so yeah after that he understood that it does hurt..

so I hope your friends care about you and beat you up if you treat your (future) wife in a way that's against the sunnah of our beloved prophet(peace be upon him)

 

[Kerr]

btw , i propose a suppose , you have to choice , between live with rebelious or obedience wife , which one you would choose ? ( I guess in this time you will tell me i would mary any one of them )

if your wife becomes rebellious ? you would wish that she would be obedience ? and if she obey you , you will tell her , plz don't obey me , i hate the obedience wifes

You paint the world in black and white. I want an independent wife.

 

[Kerr]

we make deal about this , and she accepted.

Are you just assuming she would accept? What if she doesnt?

 

[Godobeyer]

May i respectfully ask you, what is the purpose for you in taking another wife?

Just because we always want more ,for exemple if you are rich , you would be more richer , it's the same thing and feeling , if you have a wife you would be have two wives or more .

 

[Breathe]

we make deal about this , and she accepted

What if she says, "No, I don't want you to marry a second wife." either from the beginning, or later?

could all the issue could be discussed , but for exemple , if she disbobey me and go out without my permission , i will divorce her and try to find another woman , and if they do the same .

Wow.. really?

in this time , i will change my mind , i will prefer to marry non-muslim (Christain or jewish ) woman (because they will say the same "NO" ),and because maybe , my life will be good with her in the west .

I doubt it would. I've encountered a few Muslim men with this attitude where I live, and things have often not gone the way they would expect it it do so. This includes the woman and child leaving the husband.

 

[Godobeyer]

You paint the world in black and white. I want an independent wife.

hey independent woman day when ?
independent with limited or without ? you mean "full freedom " ?

 

[Godobeyer]

Godobeyer I have a nice story for you..I was listening to a lecture the shaykh(scholar) was talking about the rights of the wife..he was saying that the wife has right to be treated good and that those who beat there wife are opressive and insecure men..so he told a story about somehting he and a few others did when they were studying in a islamic univerisity in saudi-arabia..there was a friend of them ..one of the students who use to hit his wife..they use to advise him to treat her well but he kept on doing it..so one day they said to him that they were going to the desert with a group so he went with them..so once they got there.. they beat him up..so yeah after that he understood that it does hurt..

thanks for this story , but acualty the verse of Quran was clear , it's talking about "insubordinate wife " , if some one use to beat his "obedience wife" for anything that realy abuse , and i am against this 100%.

so I hope your friends care about you and beat you up if you treat your (future) wife in a way that's against the sunnah of our beloved prophet(peace be upon him)

I know how much the beat hurt the body and feeling .:run:

I just want to know if you know arabic ?

 

[Godobeyer]

What if she says, "No, I don't want you to marry a second wife." either from the beginning, or later?

I make a deal with her , i propose my conditions , and she accept , because she knows how much i loved her .

Wow.. really?

wow ...why not ?

I doubt it would. I've encountered a few Muslim men with this attitude where I live, and things have often not gone the way they would expect it it do so. This includes the woman and child leaving the husband.

many muslims married christians and jews women , it's a mariage like all the mariages .

 

[MysticSang'ha]

After reading so many responses here, I'm very happy certain people would steer clear of my daughter.

She would do much better with someone who will respect her and who wishes to treat her well.

 

[Breathe]

I make a deal with her , i propose my conditions , and she accept , because she knows how much i loved her .

But my question is, what if she changed her mind later? What would you do then?
Or what if she rejected your conditions?

wow ...why not ?

Because to divorce a wife for something such as going out without permission is not love.

many muslims married christians and jews women , it's a mariage like all the mariages .

That is not what I said. The attitude you have regarding women is something I have seen with a few men, and the relationships have ended. Badly. Usually it has involved the wife leaving with the children.

 

[Enlighten]

thank you very much ,yeah , that's what i mean
soft beat or what i called slap of love , it's doesnt cause physical harm , its about emotionnal harm . exaclty as you said.

Why on earth would you want to bring any form of harm to someone you claim to love?

 

[Enlighten]

somepeople accept to be wrong , as the smokers and drinkers ....etc , I am sure if you contact Rihanna and tell her that Chris Brown was wrong , she will tell you it's not your business , Chris Brown is not her husband and beat her hardly , and she decide to forgive him (not to jail him) . it's her decission ,exaclty as the any women to accept to be beated or slapped by religious or not religious authority .

I don't recall all details of this case, but I am pretty sure that Chris Brown appeared in court over this so she must have called the police, it is not up to her to jail him, that is up to the courts.

 

[Draka]

I know how much the beat hurt the body and feeling .:run:

If you supposedly know this, then why would you want to inflict this upon anyone else unless you are truly a cruel and sadistic person who takes joy in the pain of others?

 

[beenie]

What if she says, "No, I don't want you to marry a second wife." either from the beginning, or later?

She has the right to refuse and not marry him, or divorce him if he tries to force a second wife into the family.

I doubt it would. I've encountered a few Muslim men with this attitude where I live, and things have often not gone the way they would expect it it do so. This includes the woman and child leaving the husband.

I've seen the same both in the West and in Muslim countries.