Unless you quote my post or put an @ next to my name, I do not get a notification of your reply. Sorry I missed this.
JayJayDee, you and my mother could be best friends.
She tried to control every aspect of my life too, and still does.
I never controlled every aspect of my children's lives. That is not healthy. I raised my children with good principles and allowed them at times to experience the consequences of their choices. This is how God teaches us. But every parent is under obliagation to protect their children, physically, mentally and morally.
She overly sheltered me.
She is a leading member of the PTA group that killed science classes in my schools.
She treated me like a puppy that needed to be raised not to **** on the floor.
She restricted heavily what shows I could watch, when, and how long.
She gave me only one option in any scenario that she thought related to religion.
Again, control is not the way to go. Unless you sit down with your kids and actually explain why you are restricting them from activities that you consider morally or spiritually damaging, there is no point in just being the police in jackboots. That just invites rebellion.
and when I rejected all that, she disowned me.
Would you disown your kids for your religion?
Disown them? No! Condone their behaviour if it was totally offensive to me? Never.
When we become adults, we are accountable for our own behaviour. We all reap what we sow and sometimes the disappointment that comes with a parent's reasonable expectations of their children, does not lead to a good relationship with their adult children. Just because you love the person, doesn't mean you have to love what they do. You just don't want to be in the company of someone whose behaviour is foreign or unacceptable to you. Who does?
I ask that under the assumption you have kids that are young or intend to have kids one day.
You seem the type that would, but at the same time I kinda think you wouldn't.
You don't know me and yet you make assumptions about what type of person I am and what I would or wouldn't do?
I am a grandparent of four, mother of two. I have raised my children to be successful and responsible adults. But my grandchildren are another story. My oldest is lost in the world, having completely rejected her spiritual upbringing by very loving and generous parents. She is tattooed from head to foot and is suffering all the consequences of very bad lifestyle choices. She knew where these choices would lead her but chose them anyway. Who can she blame for her troubles? Her parents? Or herself? No one forced her to choose that lifestyle and I can tell you she hates her life. She is broke and her so called friends are no help. She is freakish in appearance, so who would employ her except a tattoo parlour? Her anxiety and depression have led to many hospital admissions. Yet she will not stop her behaviors.
Should she come home and bring her troubles with her? Would her parents be unreasonable to expect some lifestyle changes if she did? Would they be unreasonable if she refused to change her ways and they asked her to leave? As an adult, they are not responsible for her.
It would have been an incredibly different outcome if she had not rebelled. So sometimes we have to sleep in the bed we have made for ourselves. If you know the story of the prodigal son, you will appreciate the terms on which the father accepted his son back with rejoicing.
You'd have to be a pretty big b***h to just reject your child for something so subjective.
Then again Jesus did basically say to love him more than your family or no Heaven for you.
Matthew 10 | ReligiousForums.com
10:37
Funny how you would say that. Why would I be a b***h for rejecting my child's unacceptable behaviour?
They would have to leave that behaviour behind if they wanted my acceptance. What does that make us if we enable someone to be a dreg and a drain on society? They are fully capable of making their own choices so they can wear the consequences. Why is that not fair?
Jesus said he came to cause "division" in families. Why would he say something like that?
Because failure on the part of family members to uphold his teachings puts them outside of his means of salvation.
If family members reject the principles by which Jesus said we must live...then they have no part in that arrangement.
We have to choose between that family member and God....between our own salvation and their choices. Adam chose to side with his disobedient wife...where did that get him and the family that would come from him? There's the lesson...do we still not get it?
Don't know if JWs follow all that or not, never cared enough to really find out.
Then again I never cared enough about Christianity as a whole to figure out which part believes whatever.
JW's are not mamby-pamby when it come to their principles. We stick by what is taught in scripture....not in a tyrannical manner but lovingly. We don't force our children to be Christians, but expect that as long as they live within the family unit, that they will abide by the rules of the house. Those who do not wish to comply will not be treated with kid gloves. We believe in discipline because there is nothing in this world like being in the company of undisciplined brats.
There is no place for rebels in a family because rebels destroy families. God knows this all too well. Therefore if a child comes of age and wishes to live life their way, heartbroken parents will not stop them. Like the prodigal son, we hope that they will learn from their experiences to appreciate what they had and treated with disdain.
The way back is always open...but not without the necessary changes.
