I'd like to ask a question: if spanking is so wonderful, then why am I in therapy to this day (age 43)to get over the anger I have about belt whippings I received as a child? I haven't been spanked in 30 years.
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I'd like to ask a question: if spanking is so wonderful, then why am I in therapy to this day (age 43)to get over the anger I have about belt whippings I received as a child? I haven't been spanked in 30 years.
I'd like to ask a question: if spanking is so wonderful, then why am I in therapy to this day (age 43)to get over the anger I have about belt whippings I received as a child? I haven't been spanked in 30 years.
I'd like to ask a question: if spanking is so wonderful, then why am I in therapy to this day (age 43)to get over the anger I have about belt whippings I received as a child? I haven't been spanked in 30 years.
Oh and as far as going on and being successful? So what?..I know women who were raped by their family members as children and they are successful as adults.It doesn't mean that being raped helped them go on to be successful.
Love
Dallas
That's a point.
I keep wondering why we (as the human race) believe that causing children pain will help them learn a lesson. Spanking is a lot easier than other forms of discipline, and it takes minimum effort. I saw a news item once where a boy stole money, and his father made him sell his things in order to pay back the money he stole. I think that would be a lot more effective than hitting but, as you can see, it took more effort and more thought.
I think what I mean by spanking isn't a swat to stop your 3 year old from running out into the street or taking a toy from a peer or sibling. I guess what I mean is that a swat or 2 is different than a long, drawn out spanking, either with or without a weapon (belt, paddle, etc).
To me, "spank" or "spanking" is to hit a child's skin with your open hand, either on the backside, or the back of the legs. I don't assume "spank" to mean either a closed-fisted hit, or an impact with an item/weapon.
I support the circumstancial use of such "spanking" according to my definition. I'm not keen on the idea of hitting kids with items, belts, or closed fists, or spanking them multiple times in one session etc.
Just a calm, quick <spank>.
I agree with that part- hitting with any kind of weapon, like a hairbrush, belt, or paddle is a beating and not a spanking.
Yeah, although I think "swat" might be a good way of describing it, although to me it suggests being hit with an item, a fly swatter lol.
Yeah, hitting with an item of closed fist to me is more of "beating" too. To me, spanking should just cause a breif quick sensation of pain, it shouldn't actually damage/injury the person, just like a flick on the ear.
So, now that you're aware of my definition of "spanking", do you still disagree with me?
My mother never did anything half way. It was either a several minute whipping with a belt or switch or nothing. So "swat" would never have applied to what I went through. But, to be sure, to me a one quick swat does not constitute what I consider what I meant by a spanking. So I suppose I can't really disagree with you on what you call a spanking.
Plus, I support the circumstancial use of spanking, depending on the severity of the situation, I also would never believe that a simple spank on it's own would ever "teach" kids anything (other than that they'd get spanked if they disobey thier parents to a severe degree, which I don't think is that bad though).
To me, the "spank" should always be acompanied by other parental techniques, as one whole package to address the situation. The spank should only act as a physical "boundary" so that the child won't cross it again, or to "stop" a child in it's tracks. Then after that, other methods ca be applied.
Kinda like a formula, sort of like Stop, Control, Address, Resolve or something like that. The spank would act as the "Stop" part, never the "Resolve" or "Address" part.
Then agian, I'm young and have no kids, so feel free to just tell me to f**k off!
xD
So, now that you're aware of my definition of "spanking", do you still disagree with me?
I still don't agree that a child is going to learn anything from that except to hit people when they are annoyed.
I must say , Its very pleasurable that my son is developing in a normal well adjusted way. With out me having to hit him to make a point. Just my disapproval seems to be enough for him to change his behavior. I am looking ahead to his teen age years to see if attachment parenting still holds up. Both me and my best friend have said that if our parenting theories dont work any better then our parents methodology ( or lack of ) we are going to be P__ off because it takes so much more time and hard work.
Each child and parent have differing personalities. I feel blessed that ours match well and it is easy to create a supportive environment for him to grow up in. Now not every one agrees with my child raising techniques. If someone in my family makes a claim that he believes to be incorrect, he is welcome to prove and argue his point in a respectful way. If he can convince me that I am wrong I will thank him. My in-laws hate this practice in my home. They think its disrespectful when Grandma makes a comment about sharks that is incorrect and my son pulls out his animal encyclopedia to show what it says on the subject. As long as he is respectful and he is seeking the truth its allowed.
I believe that this little activity has made my opinion much more powerful. It has also set an example how we all need to harmonize all our activities to the truth as we see it. So he is just a little more likely to follow my advice.
I still don't agree that a child is going to learn anything from that except to hit people when they are annoyed.