Opinions on Spanking

[Autodidact]

"Dabbling in the earlobe department?"

 

[Bware]

Well I think it all depends on the child, and it should only be done with a loving hand. What I mean is that, I don't see spanking as wrong per say, but not every child needs to be spanked. To some children the worst thing you could possibly do them would be sitting them in the corner, or on the couch in a timeout, some it would spanking. Doing anything to a child that to them is the "worst punishment" could in theory cause them to hate or resent their parents. I think alot of the people that have posted on this topic, were spanked alot as a child and came to resent it, but wouldn't they also come to resent having their noses in the corner all the time too?

My parents spanked me as a child, albeit I have only ever had a handful of spankings ( I was a pretty good kid ). I specifically remember EVERY spanking that I ever recieved, and everyone of them there was a lesson to be learned. It wasn't just a whipping then sit and think about what you did, no my mom or dad spanked me, then when they was done, hugged & kissed and told me they loved me and explained to me why they spanked me, what I did wrong, how what I did would affect my/others's lives. To me it was more of a life lesson then anything, and really without teaching your kids right from wrong and giving them life's lessons, how are they going to turn out and not be turds?

Personally I think that's the problem with today's chidren. So many people are against discipling children, period, yet those same people are the ones who's child screams and bites and says I hate you mom. These kids grow up and have no respect for anyone. To me discipling a child is a must, it teaches the child to respect you and to listen to you, which equates to respecting others and following societies laws. What if you have yell at your child to get out of the street because you see a car coming right at them. You need to have your child listen to you and do what they are told immediatly without questioning, if he/she questioned then he would have been hit by that car.

Just my $.02, sorry this is something I feel strongly about. Don't mean to offend anyone if I did.

BW

 

[Bware]

Your are better person than me then.I have smashed cantelopues into my fence in the back yard and I wasnt even dreaming..And that is the "nice" me".

Im not blaming my mother but I think I learned it from her.I remember her stabbing my fathers leather work chair in his office with a butcher knife at home and saying she was murdering his girlfriend..(his lover was his job ).

She has a gun too. :run:

Love

Dallas

Lol, no offense but your mom has issues. Take her gun away, lol :help:

(P.S. there is nothing wrong with guns, I own 3, but that's another thread entirely I'm sure...)

 

[shortfade2]

Well I think it all depends on the child, and it should only be done with a loving hand. What I mean is that, I don't see spanking as wrong per say, but not every child needs to be spanked. To some children the worst thing you could possibly do them would be sitting them in the corner, or on the couch in a timeout, some it would spanking. Doing anything to a child that to them is the "worst punishment" could in theory cause them to hate or resent their parents. I think alot of the people that have posted on this topic, were spanked alot as a child and came to resent it, but wouldn't they also come to resent having their noses in the corner all the time too?

My parents spanked me as a child, albeit I have only ever had a handful of spankings ( I was a pretty good kid ). I specifically remember EVERY spanking that I ever recieved, and everyone of them there was a lesson to be learned. It wasn't just a whipping then sit and think about what you did, no my mom or dad spanked me, then when they was done, hugged & kissed and told me they loved me and explained to me why they spanked me, what I did wrong, how what I did would affect my/others's lives. To me it was more of a life lesson then anything, and really without teaching your kids right from wrong and giving them life's lessons, how are they going to turn out and not be turds?

Personally I think that's the problem with today's chidren. So many people are against discipling children, period, yet those same people are the ones who's child screams and bites and says I hate you mom. These kids grow up and have no respect for anyone. To me discipling a child is a must, it teaches the child to respect you and to listen to you, which equates to respecting others and following societies laws. What if you have yell at your child to get out of the street because you see a car coming right at them. You need to have your child listen to you and do what they are told immediatly without questioning, if he/she questioned then he would have been hit by that car.

Just my $.02, sorry this is something I feel strongly about. Don't mean to offend anyone if I did.

BW

Yes, Bware. You are 100% on the money. DING DING DING!!!

Spanking/hitting kids is really quite necessary. Just saying "No tv for a week" is weak parenting. It actually encourages us to stand up to that.

EX: my mom never hit me, because she is pretty weak. She always grounded me, or waited for dad to get home. As the years have gone by, I got used to it, and she only hit me when I really pisd her off. one time when I was about 12 or 13 she came stomping up to me red faced, and upset, she raised her hand to hit me, and instead of shrinking back like I usually had done, I caught her hand, and tapped her on the cheek with two fingers. (I was excited because my balls had finally dropped, and I was a lot stronger ) She was so mad, because that one little gesture basically ment that she didnt own me, I was bigger than her, ha. ha. ha.....needless to say my dad came home and kicked the crap out me TEEHEE! pwned!

Friends of our family actually had their son hit their mother, because they refused to show dominance over him. He ended up forcing them to emancipate him. Hitting kids shows that you are in charge of them.
I've taken a good swing at my dad from time to time, and most kids have, But he always says, "Fine. Take another one." I do, and then he pins me on the ground and makes me apologize. One time when I took a swing at his face, and tried to kick him in the balls (I was about 7) He pinned me down and tapped me on the forehead for 5 minutes. we are practically best friends now and almost never fight eachother. He respects me because I respect him, and he coached my little league teams, along with a few of my basketball teams. He comes to all my sports, and is a great guy. You just have to have a respect for your parents in order to obey them. Then they tell you how much they love you a lot, and you have a good thing. Not hitting your kids is no bueno.

NOTE: I am exactly the child who "needs to be hit" I am too arragant and frequently need to be put in my place. If I am not, then I get more arragant. This is why repeatedly getting spanked as a child, and more recently, getting just flat out hit on the spot worked for me.

 

[blackout]

My biggest thing is always that the kids don't hurt themselves or each other.

That is the only thing I will all out yell at them over.
If I have to shake them up (not literally)
to keep them from doing stupidly dangerous things I will.
In such cases I've grabbed them by the shirt,
or smacked them where it would do no damage
on the spot.
I've even pulled one childs hair to show them how their sibling feels
when he/she is pulling THEIR hair.

But I have.... and would never... premeditate (or schedule )a "spanking".
like say "now blah blah this is why you're getting a spanking"
then spank them like it's a... I don't know.
the thought makes my skin crawl.
I certainly would NEVER want anyone doing such a thing to me.
So I would not do it to them.
If I do something REALLY stupid to you,
just have it out with me on the spot.
Don't come back later to "spank" or "whip" me over it.

I find this kind of thing most insulting.
Children are little people. not lesser ones.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

But I have.... and would never... premeditate (or schedule )a "spanking".


I certainly would NEVER want anyone doing such a thing to me.

Pfft - boooring.

 

[shortfade2]

My biggest thing is always that the kids don't hurt themselves or each other.

That is the only thing I will all out yell at them over.
If I have to shake them up (not literally)
to keep them from doing stupidly dangerous things I will.
In such cases I've grabbed them by the shirt,
or smacked them where it would do no damage
on the spot.
I've even pulled one childs hair to show them how their sibling feels
when he/she is pulling THEIR hair.

But I have.... and would never... premeditate (or schedule )a "spanking".
like say "now blah blah this is why you're getting a spanking"
then spank them like it's a... I don't know.
the thought makes my skin crawl.
I certainly would NEVER want anyone doing such a thing to me.
So I would not do it to them.
If I do something REALLY stupid to you,
just have it out with me on the spot.
Don't come back later to "spank" or "whip" me over it.

I find this kind of thing most insulting.
Children are little people. not lesser ones.

Yes. I like being slugged in the gut a lot better than my mom saying, "CONOR!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM!! YOUR FATHER WILL BE DOWN SOON TO SPANK YOU!!!!!"

the walk down feels like your walking into a dungeon,

Oh, and when my cousins would fight back when we were kids my aunt would say, "Hey whats up" To the older one, who would say, So and sos annoying me. "Well go kick the crap out of him!" So the little sibling cant get out free by just being little, and provoking until hit. If you annoy somebody who can beat you up, then you get beat up! Thats how it works in school, and at home for my cousins....but not my house, because hitting a girl is a cardinal sin in my house and I would never do it

 

[Nepenthe]

Spanking/hitting kids is really quite necessary. Just saying "No tv for a week" is weak parenting. It actually encourages us to stand up to that.

EX: my mom never hit me, because she is pretty weak. She always grounded me, or waited for dad to get home. As the years have gone by, I got used to it, and she only hit me when I really pisd her off. one time when I was about 12 or 13 she came stomping up to me red faced, and upset, she raised her hand to hit me, and instead of shrinking back like I usually had done, I caught her hand, and tapped her on the cheek with two fingers. (I was excited because my balls had finally dropped, and I was a lot stronger ) She was so mad, because that one little gesture basically ment that she didnt own me, I was bigger than her, ha. ha. ha.....needless to say my dad came home and kicked the crap out me TEEHEE! pwned!

Friends of our family actually had their son hit their mother, because they refused to show dominance over him. He ended up forcing them to emancipate him. Hitting kids shows that you are in charge of them.
I've taken a good swing at my dad from time to time, and most kids have, But he always says, "Fine. Take another one." I do, and then he pins me on the ground and makes me apologize. One time when I took a swing at his face, and tried to kick him in the balls (I was about 7) He pinned me down and tapped me on the forehead for 5 minutes. we are practically best friends now and almost never fight eachother. He respects me because I respect him, and he coached my little league teams, along with a few of my basketball teams. He comes to all my sports, and is a great guy. You just have to have a respect for your parents in order to obey them. Then they tell you how much they love you a lot, and you have a good thing. Not hitting your kids is no bueno.

NOTE: I am exactly the child who "needs to be hit" I am too arragant and frequently need to be put in my place. If I am not, then I get more arragant. This is why repeatedly getting spanked as a child, and more recently, getting just flat out hit on the spot worked for me.

Yeah, sounds like your dad's discipline did wonders.

 

[blackout]

Pfft - boooring.

Psst - the adult thread is here.

 

[shortfade2]

Yeah, sounds like your dad's discipline did wonders.

yeah. Being best friend with your dad is a terrible thing. Yeah, thats what we are. I was a little demon as a kid, and around 12/13 I started to turn. We are a really tight family so I dont give a crap what you think about the methods he used. Fact is that it worked

 

[Alceste]

"Dabbling in the earlobe department?"

:spit:lol - you could say that.

 

[Aquitaine]

You are not reading my posts. I'm not talking about asking children to co-operate or being at their mercy or needing to appease them. I'm talking about completely controlling their entire lives, and being in charge at all times. As I said, the child cannot so much as eat without your permission. You already hold all the marbles. There is no need to hit them. Unless you let them eat, play, watch TV, have company, go outside or use the computer (or cell-phone or I-pod, with an older kid) they don't get to. You're already in charge, if you know what you're doing, and you can use that to control their behavior.

"O.K., well as soon as these toys are all picked up I'll be serving a delicious lunch."
"I see you don't know how to use your manners. Do you need a lesson? Or should I just move this food over here until you remember how we eat?"
"Yes, I have a scrumptious dessert, actually, for anyone who eats their lunch."
etc., etc., all day long. You are in complete charge.
And don't forget, "What nice manners! Would you like another serving?"

Fair enough, that's another parenting strategy, and hey, if it works, it works.

Your method is fundamentally flawed. Try to conceive how you could figure out whether it did any harm or not.

Oh course, it's a total generalization and it holds no possible way of being "proven", yet the same can be said for every other parenting strategy. We can't ultimately, in the final picture, determine how "well" people turned out, and it's the same reason why I'm....... iffy, about whether or not a parenting strategy that minimized spanking would also be ultimately "good" or "bad" for people.

The only "evidence" I can provide is from personal experience, that the older generations who were spanked appear happier, less violent, and have less "issues" than our current generation who weren't spanked. I'm not trying to suggest that non-spanking is bad, I'm just trying to defend the use of spanking here.

 

[Alceste]

The only "evidence" I can provide is from personal experience, that the older generations who were spanked appear happier, less violent, and have less "issues" than our current generation who weren't spanked. I'm not trying to suggest that non-spanking is bad, I'm just trying to defend the use of spanking here.

By saying it seems to you old people appear to be happier than young people? :sarcastic Of course NOTHING has changed over the past 60 odd years apart from a gradual departure from corporal punishment...

 

[Aquitaine]

By saying it seems to you old people appear to be happier than young people? :sarcastic Of course NOTHING has changed over the past 60 odd years apart from a gradual departure from corporal punishment...

I know, I know. But I'm not trying to say that non-spanking is bad, just that spanking can't be that bad.

Atleast if used in the ways I outlined earlier.

Also, off topic, but, you live in Montreal right? I flew over there yesterdays on my way to America!

 

[shortfade2]

By saying it seems to you old people appear to be happier than young people? :sarcastic Of course NOTHING has changed over the past 60 odd years apart from a gradual departure from corporal punishment...

Can we measure happiness some how :sarcastic maybe we could find a way to do it....that would be a good sciece thing....not sarcasm at all

 

[Alceste]

I know, I know. But I'm not trying to say that non-spanking is bad, just that spanking can't be that bad.

Atleast if used in the ways I outlined earlier.

Also, off topic, but, you live in Montreal right? I flew over there yesterdays on my way to America!

Not living there now, but I did live there for a few years. I love that town. * sigh * I hope you at least said hello to it for me while you were refueling.

 

[Alceste]

Can we measure happiness some how :sarcastic maybe we could find a way to do it....that would be a good sciece thing....not sarcasm at all

Yeah, we can, that's how we know those socialist Danes are the happiest people in the world. (<--link).

 

[Autodidact]

This just in:

(CNN) -- Think a little spanking won't do much harm to kids? New research says the effects can be long-lasting.

Experts say "popping" kids can do more harm than good. A new study of more than 2,500 toddlers from low-income families found that spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.
"We're talking about infants and toddlers, and I think that just, cognitively, they just don't understand enough about right or wrong or punishment to benefit from being spanked," said Lisa Berlin, the study's lead author and research scientist at the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University.
Berlin and colleagues found that children who were spanked as 1-year-olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3. The study is published in the journal Child Development.

 

[Aquitaine]

This just in:

(CNN) -- Think a little spanking won't do much harm to kids? New research says the effects can be long-lasting.

Experts say "popping" kids can do more harm than good. A new study of more than 2,500 toddlers from low-income families found that spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.
"We're talking about infants and toddlers, and I think that just, cognitively, they just don't understand enough about right or wrong or punishment to benefit from being spanked," said Lisa Berlin, the study's lead author and research scientist at the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University.
Berlin and colleagues found that children who were spanked as 1-year-olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3. The study is published in the journal Child Development.

LOL, that doesn't surprise me at all! They're 1-3 and spanked? Jeez that's far too early anyways.

Still though, the method of "spanking" varies so greatly, from how often and what for, and how it is explained or resolved etc. It's like saying "drinking Alcohol" is bad for you, but it depends on the consumption and the person.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a supporter of constant, first resort spanking, I'll just reserve the right to administer one depending on the severity of the circumstances.

 

[Aquitaine]

Not living there now, but I did live there for a few years. I love that town. * sigh * I hope you at least said hello to it for me while you were refueling.

Unfortunately, no. It was a straight Manchester - Atlanta flight, and we flew just over Montreal half way, after that it was Atlanta - San Deigo(sp?). Although it would've been nice to stop off at Montreal, especially since the flight sucked major lol!