Alceste
Vagabond
Yes, I understand the concept, but I still don't see why the consequence of "crossing the line" has to be physical abuse. Why can't it be "no video games"?
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Opinions on Spanking
- Thread starter DallasApple
- Start date
Yes, I understand the concept, but I still don't see why the consequence of "crossing the line" has to be physical abuse. Why can't it be "no video games"?
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
It could very well be "no video games", depending on the circumstances of what they've done wrong. The same for a quick spank.
I will always reserve the use of a spank, just in case, depending on what happens. Not only that, but hey, even the verbal threat of "stop or you'll get another spank" could be enough.
Alceste
Vagabond
Yeah, but why do you need to hit your kids??? That's what I don't get. Sure, it'll scare them and hurt them out of doing whatever they're doing, but so what? You're HITTING YOUR KIDS!!!!
It just doesn't make any sense to me. I've never felt like a needed to hit a kid (or any other person, except once in self-defense). I can't imagine ever feeling like I needed to hit a kid, no matter what s/he did. So I guess for me the "circumstances" will never be appropriate for kid-hitting, since I'm basically not a physically violent person.
Anyway, this is just going to go around in circles. You're quite sure you're doing the right thing despite the evidence to the contrary. I'm quite sure it's wrong despite any shortcomings and limitations in the evidence that supports my view. * shrug *. I guess that's how things go sometimes.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
The only time you ever want to hit a child is for the same reasons most people who hit children also want to hit an adult..When they are ****** off.
The same reason why sometimes you want to scream is the same reason why people hual off and beat kids.
But they get to call it a "spanking".If you did the same thing to an adult that you are ****** off at you can be charged with asault and go to jail.
But hey..its "just a kid".
Love
Dallas
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
YEAH a "quick spank".
You mean SMACK the kid.HIT the kid.
Stop calling it "spank"..Call it what is is..HITTING .
NO one can tell me that when you lift your hand and srtike something it isnt hitting it.They call it "spank" only when its a helpless vulnerable child who is dependent on you just to ease the guilt and flower up what it is you are actually doing..HITTING a person.
Love
Dallas
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Alceste
Vagabond
Ha - well I hardly ever want to scream either. Once upon a time when I was going through a difficult patch I liked to scream in the car driving down the freeway to get it out of my system, but never thought "what I really need now is a kid to smack around"!
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
The ANGER is AT the child.
They are being BAD and doing things they KNOW ther arent supposed to do on PURPOSE!
They are making your life a living HELL!
Love
Dallas
Alceste
Vagabond
No the difficult patch was with a cheating, lying fiance, and I never felt like I wanted to hit him. Never felt like I wanted to scream at him either, except in a dream I had where I caught him playing with another girl's earlobes.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Your are better person than me then.I have smashed cantelopues into my fence in the back yard and I wasnt even dreaming..And that is the "nice" me".
Im not blaming my mother but I think I learned it from her.I remember her stabbing my fathers leather work chair in his office with a butcher knife at home and saying she was murdering his girlfriend..(his lover was his job ).
She has a gun too. :run:
Love
Dallas
Last edited:
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
Alceste said:
Well, one such circumstance where such a spank could be seen as "neccessary" in my opinion, would be if a child hits you first, or is caught hitting others. Both you and even Autodidact admitted that put in the scenario, you'd "hit" back, although to what degree the hit would be probably varies a lot. There's just one example of where spanking could be reserved for a certain scenario.
As for the spanking itself, it's just like a more intense version of having your ear flicked, and perhaps there exists children who simply will not co-operate with any verbal or other approach, and (in my opinion) it would be bad to constantly be at the mercy of your child's antics, desperately spending all available time to "appease" s/he to behave, all the while the child knows and developes an attitude that it can "control" it's parents to fit around it's own wants. I think a spank would stop it immediately, and would help re-establish the authority for the parent. Of course this is only in the case of really disobedient children.
Finally, it's been used in the past when we've birthed upstanding generations of people who're successfull and happy, especially in comparison to our modern equivilents, so hey - I guess it didn't do them any harm.
Pretty much, yeah.
I guess this is where we'll just have to recognise our differences of opinion, and move on, unless you wanna get this thread upto 50+ pages
shortfade2
Active Member
My parents spanked me until I was about 12, but my sister got out of it a lot. Now she gets what she wants, or she throws a fit, and shes 16. I can expect to get punished, and not get what I want.
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
Earlobes?!?
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
You are not reading my posts. I'm not talking about asking children to co-operate or being at their mercy or needing to appease them. I'm talking about completely controlling their entire lives, and being in charge at all times. As I said, the child cannot so much as eat without your permission. You already hold all the marbles. There is no need to hit them. Unless you let them eat, play, watch TV, have company, go outside or use the computer (or cell-phone or I-pod, with an older kid) they don't get to. You're already in charge, if you know what you're doing, and you can use that to control their behavior.
"O.K., well as soon as these toys are all picked up I'll be serving a delicious lunch."
"I see you don't know how to use your manners. Do you need a lesson? Or should I just move this food over here until you remember how we eat?"
"Yes, I have a scrumptious dessert, actually, for anyone who eats their lunch."
etc., etc., all day long. You are in complete charge.
And don't forget, "What nice manners! Would you like another serving?"
Your method is fundamentally flawed. Try to conceive how you could figure out whether it did any harm or not.
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
That's the problem. Not the lack of spanking, but the giving her what she wants if she throws a fit.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Thats right..My sister still "spanks" both my 8 year old nephew and my 14 year old niece and they throw temper tantrums and my sister always gives them what they want.They are spolied.They are in charge.
Love
Dallas
shortfade2
Active Member
Its not a tantrum so much as a being pisd off for the rest of the day. And bull. She doesnt get what she wants when she does that. Spanking is quite effective. I am a kid, and when you get wacked upside the head for doing something wrong its pretty motivating
Well, not everything should be beatings, I get rewarded sometimes for good behavior. If i go to a party, and pass the beer/tobacco inspection, then they are pretty much happy with me for the next 3 days.
Alceste
Vagabond
In the dream, yes. For some reason it was way worse than if they'd been kissing or something.