DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Some people arent smart enough to figure that out..In fact they are TAUGHT to hit their children for biting and even "biting back" was a method too.
Love
Dallas
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Opinions on Spanking
- Thread starter DallasApple
- Start date
Some people arent smart enough to figure that out..In fact they are TAUGHT to hit their children for biting and even "biting back" was a method too.
Love
Dallas
Alceste
Vagabond
Jeez! biting back?? Honestly. How difficult is it to physically overpower a baby? If its teeth are coming at you, why not just point its teeth in some other direction? Put its teeth in another room? Or the high chair, like Christine did?
It's a very insecure person who feels they need to have a physical brawl with a toddler to show who's the boss.
shortfade2
Active Member
lol. I agree. toddlers are terrible, but the time to wack kids is when their 9. 9 year olds are devils.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I SWEAR to you I was told to "bite them back"..(this was before internet) ..It was like the "secret to parenting".."wives tales" and "through the grapevine".
Im not the "only one" ..
The idea was they could "experience" and "realize" how unpleasent it is to be bitten therefore learn thats not a nice thing to do.
No kidden.
Love
Dallas
shortfade2
Active Member
Biting back....wow. I cant even believe that.
Smoke
Done here.
Jean Kerr, author of Please Don't Eat the Daisies, wrote a great piece about disciplining children. (She did advocate spanking, though.) She warns against the threat, whatever you do to the baby, I'll do to you -- because when it comes right down it, you just can't spit in that child's milk and punch him right in the eye.
But maybe some people can.
BTW, Kerr advocated the threat, "If you don't stop that, I'll clip you," on the grounds that it sounds threatening but is vague enough to leave a choice about what you feel up to at the moment.
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DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I finally learned..My 4 year old (who is now 13) bit this little girl on the FACE at Mcdonalds on the playground. I was MORTIFIED!She had his "teeth imprints (bottom and lower) on her sweet little cheek..
I reverted to my instincts which was to beat the livign **** out of him..or even allow the little girl to bite him back.to teach him a lesson and also make it "fair and square).
But I instead stayed calm in my panic,I told the mother I was VERY sorry..Is she O.K do you think she needs medical treatment..She said it looks O.K the skin isnt broken..(she was very kind..)
I said I dont know what to do.. I said should I bite him back?Should I spank him?I said Im thinking what I should tell him is because he did that we have to leave and he cant play anymore with the children.That he is is not welcome anymore..
She said.."that is what I would do"..The woman actually hugged me and said "we have all been through things like this you are making a right choice here".
WAHHH!!
Love
Dallas
Smoke
Done here.
No, I've heard it, too. I'd rank it somewhere below "Give the baby a little moonshine to help him sleep" on the list of good parenting ideas, but I used to hear it advocated by people who claimed it worked like a charm.
It probably did, too, but not because the baby learned compassion for others. The baby probably said to itself, "Jesus! That ***** BIT me! I'd better step softly around her!"
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
BHSU_Student
Member
As a student of psychology, I can attest to the ineffectiveness of spanking in the long run. It is especially worse, when a parent spanks their child while in a state of anger or rage. If a parent is to spank, it is best done at a state of calmness and love. This is what I have learned from current research.
From a behaviorist perspective, one must consider the associations that may be created when a parent spanks a child. While the parent may be pleased by the immediate decrease of unwanted behavior, they may also be conditioning the child to view the parent in a negative and intimidating light. I firmly believe that spanking creates harmful associations (especially when it is done in anger). The primary caregiver is supposed to be a safe haven for the child, THE person that the child trusts to protect them. Spanking is a contradiction of this role. I believe that this can contribute to feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, low self-esteem, inability to trust, anxious attachment, self-blame and internalization of problems in the child (on the other extreme I believe some children resort to bullying and committing acts of aggression towards other children as a way to cope and act out what has been done to them (the parent who spanks essentially models aggressive behavior). Of course, most of the former are my personal inferences, and child psychology is not my thing. However, I do know that more effective ways of raising children are out there (i.e., positive and negative reinforcement). Spanking is one of the least effective methods of modifying behavior, and it is also the most outdated in my opinion.
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DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I agree.
Especially the part of viewing the parent who is supposed to be "protective" as intimidating or threatening and cant be trusted.As well as you are teaching a child to cope with conflict or problems with violence.
There is no 'calm loving " beatings.
Its not only "outdated" its ignorant and barbaric.
People like to "flower it up" and call it "discipline".Its not "discipline".Its smacking your kid or sceduling intentional infliction of pain "calmly" to get them to fear you will inflict bodily harm so they might do what you say.
And they WILL repeat this pattern..Unless they UNLEARN and have an open mind they will BEAT your granchildren.
Beating someone into submission is not tolerated ANYWHERE else.
Why dont we just start "hobblings" again so we can reinstate slavery?
Nope..adults are PROTECTED from domestic violence..For some reason the youngest and the most vulnerable ..the least wise the least experienced the least developed the MOST dependent..should be smacked around or "calmly beaten" and then told thats "love".
Its just like a neon sign..WRONG...WRONG...WRONG...
Love
Dallas
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking".
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking".
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
shortfade2
Active Member
even though spanking your kids works? Ask most parents in their 40's. Ask George Lopez and Carlos Mencia
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
I'm gonna take a guess and suggest that all these cases where the children end up with mental issues from it in later life, are the result of parents who go a little OTT when it came to spanking.
All my family, including my three sisters and parents, and their grandparents were all spanked in moderation, I almost laugh when I hear people say it causes mental issues - not that I'm laughing at the actual victims, and not that it's a funny matter, but I can honestly say that out of all the people I know who were spanked, they've all said it didn't do them any harm. It also didn't do me any harm.
I guess a lot of it is to do with how they're spanked and what for, and how frequently etc, along with so many other parenting strategies and factors which affect one's upbringing.
All my family, including my three sisters and parents, and their grandparents were all spanked in moderation, I almost laugh when I hear people say it causes mental issues - not that I'm laughing at the actual victims, and not that it's a funny matter, but I can honestly say that out of all the people I know who were spanked, they've all said it didn't do them any harm. It also didn't do me any harm.
I guess a lot of it is to do with how they're spanked and what for, and how frequently etc, along with so many other parenting strategies and factors which affect one's upbringing.
shortfade2
Active Member
Yeah. I mean there are too many other variables to just say, "Oh well this is why they have issues" no. Its like saying that eating mexican food while pregnant causes your kid to be slightly underweight.
whereismynotecard
Treasure Hunter
Well... I'm not going to claim that I turned out normal... But it might have nothing to do with spankings. There are lots of reasons why I'm ****** up in the head, and I cannot say for sure if spanking is one of them, but I don't think you should ever hit your child as a method of teaching them a lesson. Children learn from what adults around them do. My aunt was always slapping her kids' hands when they were "bad" and now my cousin is really mean to her son, so I think that her mother's spankings as punishments actually turned her into a mean mother.
There are lots of better ways to teach your children, like rewarding them when they are good and not when they are bad, so they know to not do things you don't like, because then they won't get the reward. Or you could say "don't light the yard on fire, or I'm going to take away your playstation." Then they won't light the yard on fire, because they want to keep their playstation. No physical injury needed.
There are lots of better ways to teach your children, like rewarding them when they are good and not when they are bad, so they know to not do things you don't like, because then they won't get the reward. Or you could say "don't light the yard on fire, or I'm going to take away your playstation." Then they won't light the yard on fire, because they want to keep their playstation. No physical injury needed.
whereismynotecard
Treasure Hunter
I was spanked, and I am a ******* genius.
But... coorelation does not mean causation.
Maybe the dumber kids are more likely to have disappointed parents who spank them.
That is, perhaps those who have lower IQs are more likely to be spanked... hmmm?