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Opinions on Spanking
- Thread starter DallasApple
- Start date
whereismynotecard
Treasure Hunter
You don't needs a calculator!!
Break it up:
14 x 9=
(10 x 9) + (4 x 9)=
90 + 36=
126
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
even though spanking your kids works? Ask most parents in their 40's. Ask George Lopez and Carlos Mencia
No, it doesn't. Check the research.
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
Just think how smart you'd be if you hadn't been spanked!
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
even though spanking your kids works? Ask most parents in their 40's. Ask George Lopez and Carlos Mencia
Yes, because comedians are notoriously well-balanced people.
Autodidact
Intentionally Blank
Thief
Rogue Theologian
There's been some discussion about rewarding good behavior ....and to refrain the spanking... is the way to go.
Just finished reading a web news article...linking criminal behavior with childhood sugar consumption.
"you can't have your pudding....if you don't eat your meat!" -Pink Floyd
Just finished reading a web news article...linking criminal behavior with childhood sugar consumption.
"you can't have your pudding....if you don't eat your meat!" -Pink Floyd
Last edited:
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I was spanked on occasion as a child - nothing traumatic or abusive. I won't share my IQ score here, but suffice it to say that it's on up there. I don't believe I suffered any harm whatsoever from the occasional spanking I got. I am close to both my parents and I have a great deal of respect for both of them. I also believe they respect me - and respected me as a child. They provided a very stable, loving and supportive home for us kids, and they did a lot to provide interactive learning experiences and a lot of truly great memories. The few spankings we received do not diminish the excellent quality of my childhood in any way.
I reserved spankings (with my own kids) for outright rebellion, and I used that method of discipline very sparingly. I found that creative discipline is a gift I have! (I have some pretty hilarious stories that my kids might not find quite so funny...) I think that tailoring the discipline to match the crime is the most effective way to do it.
For instance - kid sneaks out at night - put them on restriction and take their car keys away. Kid has a habit of talking back to parents - make the kid read a book or short story about respecting parents - and write a book report on it. Kid tears up lawnmower out of carelessness - make the kid earn the money to buy a new blade. Kid makes a bad grade - curtail their extracurricular activities till they raise the grade.
It's not that hard really. The most important thing a parent can do discipline wise is BE CONSISTENT. Kids learn quickly how to play the system.
I reserved spankings (with my own kids) for outright rebellion, and I used that method of discipline very sparingly. I found that creative discipline is a gift I have! (I have some pretty hilarious stories that my kids might not find quite so funny...) I think that tailoring the discipline to match the crime is the most effective way to do it.
For instance - kid sneaks out at night - put them on restriction and take their car keys away. Kid has a habit of talking back to parents - make the kid read a book or short story about respecting parents - and write a book report on it. Kid tears up lawnmower out of carelessness - make the kid earn the money to buy a new blade. Kid makes a bad grade - curtail their extracurricular activities till they raise the grade.
It's not that hard really. The most important thing a parent can do discipline wise is BE CONSISTENT. Kids learn quickly how to play the system.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
LOL!!!!
And I agree..I dont know about "criminal behavior" but too much sugar is definately linked to childhood and adult type 2 diabetes.
Its an epideminc in our children right now In the U.S.Not to mention it rots your teeth out.
Love
Dallas
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
shortfade2
Active Member
You use your research. I'll listen to my gut and stay out of trouble because I dont exactly like pain.
Rogue Cardinal
Devil's Advocate
I am very late to the game. A little background. I was spanked regularly as a child for any number of reasons. I wasn't a bad kid. Spanking was just the NICER option.
My father's idea was that there is a nerve that goes from the butt to the brain. IF you hit that nerve just right it jogs the memory of the brain and you become more apt to remember not to do action X that gets your butt beaten.
Now my wife came from a home where spanking were NEVER issued. She came from a home where we "talk" about stuff. There was no consequence of doing X behavior. Just a little chat and off you go.
The interesting thing is that as wild as I was....my wife did crazier crap than I did! So comparing her to me....spankings worked better.
Fast forward to our kids. I'm Mr. Discipline at the house...at least in the kids eyes. what's mom do? What she knows. She talks. What's dad do? a combo of talking, taking privileges, and when need be spank. Whom do the children listen to? Dad. Now it COULD be that I am an imposing figure. I'm 6'5. I look like I could eat them. Mom's not so big....nor imposing. I have a big deep voice it gets your attention. Mom is soft spoken.
My kids do exactly what I say when I say it. They understand that if Dad puts the option of spanking on the table that Dad will follow through instantly. There are no grey areas with Dad...the line in the sand is clearly drawn.
With mom. they buck up and battle. Why? No consequences....and the worst thing she could do is go, "DAD!!!!!" At 8 and 3....they are smart enough to deal with mom if at all possible because there will be no penalty. (I figured that out early in life to.....mom no pain....dad....all pain)
At any rate....I feel the need to express when the worst happens how it goes down. You may find this humorous.
1. They get a clear warning to stop doing X behavior or Y punishment will happen immediately.
2. IF they persist...they are sent to their room with the understanding that punishment is coming. This gives them time to attempt to explain themselves and think of what has happened. This also gives me time to prep mom whom just thinks spanking is the most barbaric thing on the planet....I think she would rather I water board.
3. I come in and we discuss why the spanking is getting ready to take place.
4. (hears the funny part) The actual spanking is done with my hand. I do have a belt but even I think that is barbaric. I don't need a paddle. I feel I need the feedback from my hand and an instrument would hamper that. The actual hardness of the stroke (no more than 2) is equivalent to patting someone on the head for a good job. literally nothing.
IT is the fact that I actually (literally) laid my hand on them that gets their attention. There is no pop. It is literally pat-pat. You probably hit harder playing patty cake! But it certianly gets their attention.
Now all that being said I've have probably spanked my kids combined.....less times than I have fingers. I just don't have to spank. The ground work was laid when they were young.
you have to get the buffalo on them when they are young. You do that and they almost self discipline!
My father's idea was that there is a nerve that goes from the butt to the brain. IF you hit that nerve just right it jogs the memory of the brain and you become more apt to remember not to do action X that gets your butt beaten.
Now my wife came from a home where spanking were NEVER issued. She came from a home where we "talk" about stuff. There was no consequence of doing X behavior. Just a little chat and off you go.
The interesting thing is that as wild as I was....my wife did crazier crap than I did! So comparing her to me....spankings worked better.
Fast forward to our kids. I'm Mr. Discipline at the house...at least in the kids eyes. what's mom do? What she knows. She talks. What's dad do? a combo of talking, taking privileges, and when need be spank. Whom do the children listen to? Dad. Now it COULD be that I am an imposing figure. I'm 6'5. I look like I could eat them. Mom's not so big....nor imposing. I have a big deep voice it gets your attention. Mom is soft spoken.
My kids do exactly what I say when I say it. They understand that if Dad puts the option of spanking on the table that Dad will follow through instantly. There are no grey areas with Dad...the line in the sand is clearly drawn.
With mom. they buck up and battle. Why? No consequences....and the worst thing she could do is go, "DAD!!!!!" At 8 and 3....they are smart enough to deal with mom if at all possible because there will be no penalty. (I figured that out early in life to.....mom no pain....dad....all pain)
At any rate....I feel the need to express when the worst happens how it goes down. You may find this humorous.
1. They get a clear warning to stop doing X behavior or Y punishment will happen immediately.
2. IF they persist...they are sent to their room with the understanding that punishment is coming. This gives them time to attempt to explain themselves and think of what has happened. This also gives me time to prep mom whom just thinks spanking is the most barbaric thing on the planet....I think she would rather I water board.
3. I come in and we discuss why the spanking is getting ready to take place.
4. (hears the funny part) The actual spanking is done with my hand. I do have a belt but even I think that is barbaric. I don't need a paddle. I feel I need the feedback from my hand and an instrument would hamper that. The actual hardness of the stroke (no more than 2) is equivalent to patting someone on the head for a good job. literally nothing.
IT is the fact that I actually (literally) laid my hand on them that gets their attention. There is no pop. It is literally pat-pat. You probably hit harder playing patty cake! But it certianly gets their attention.
Now all that being said I've have probably spanked my kids combined.....less times than I have fingers. I just don't have to spank. The ground work was laid when they were young.
you have to get the buffalo on them when they are young. You do that and they almost self discipline!
shortfade2
Active Member
haha. Love it. Maybe five to seven years ago me and my sister went crazy while we were in LA. We started attacking eachother in the hotel room while my dad was out....fun stuff. So my mom spanked us.....my dad came home and started making jokes about how weak she was and made us laugh, Yes laugh, while she spanked us.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Rogue, you are a wise man.
My oldest daughter has four adorable children. For awhile, she tried that "talk everything through" thing. Her kids were getting OUT OF CONTROL! I was mad as a wet hen, because doggone it, I didn't raise her that way - when it was appropriate, I spanked my kids. (Like you said, not very often - probably fewer times than I have fingers in their lifetimes).
I had my oldest granddaughter for the weekend when she was about 4. We were in a store and she was doing that typical kid thing - whining and bugging me for candy in the checkout line. Now, this was AFTER I had bought her toys - in fact, we were IN TOYS R US! She was actually going to whine and pout after I bought her a cartload of toys because I wasn't going to buy her candy!
Uhhh..no way.
I turned around to her in that line and looked her dead in the eye, and I said to her, "Maggie, you've got two choices. You can either keep whining, or you can shut your mouth. You're not getting any candy either way. But if you keep whining, I am going to take you out to the car and spank you. And you know I mean it."
Her eyes got as big as saucers - and she shut her mouth. Why? Because she knows I will do it. How? Because I think one time in her life, I popped her on the thigh two or three times with my hand.
Hey - it works.
My oldest daughter has four adorable children. For awhile, she tried that "talk everything through" thing. Her kids were getting OUT OF CONTROL! I was mad as a wet hen, because doggone it, I didn't raise her that way - when it was appropriate, I spanked my kids. (Like you said, not very often - probably fewer times than I have fingers in their lifetimes).
I had my oldest granddaughter for the weekend when she was about 4. We were in a store and she was doing that typical kid thing - whining and bugging me for candy in the checkout line. Now, this was AFTER I had bought her toys - in fact, we were IN TOYS R US! She was actually going to whine and pout after I bought her a cartload of toys because I wasn't going to buy her candy!
Uhhh..no way.
I turned around to her in that line and looked her dead in the eye, and I said to her, "Maggie, you've got two choices. You can either keep whining, or you can shut your mouth. You're not getting any candy either way. But if you keep whining, I am going to take you out to the car and spank you. And you know I mean it."
Her eyes got as big as saucers - and she shut her mouth. Why? Because she knows I will do it. How? Because I think one time in her life, I popped her on the thigh two or three times with my hand.
Hey - it works.
shortfade2
Active Member
thats kind of the opposite of what my parents did/do. they spank me when I do something wrong, but not horribly wrong. When I do awful things I basically do extreme, hardcore, endless chores for a month.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
YUCK! Actually my parents were sort of like that - boy, did they ever believe in LONG TERM PUNISHMENTS.
I personally think that's overkill usually. To me, weeks or months of punishment creates a lot of resentment and can be counterproductive.
Now, we had a recent situation at our house though that I think we handled well. Our youngest son was fifteen at the time (this was last year). When we were both at work, he found the truck keys and snuck out. HE WRECKED THE TRUCK. Not bad, but it was a fender bender. Now - THAT is a serious violation, on a number of fronts.
We had a $500 deductible on our insurance. We made him work to earn that money. We have a big place - we live out in the country. We paid him $8 an hour to do yardwork, wash vehicles, paint, work on fences, etc. till he paid off that $500. It took him most of the summer (weekends only). We didn't make him work all weekend, every weekend. We pay him to do hard work around here nearly every Saturday anyway - but that money went into our pockets instead of his till that deductible was paid. I thought that was appropriate.
I personally think that's overkill usually. To me, weeks or months of punishment creates a lot of resentment and can be counterproductive.
Now, we had a recent situation at our house though that I think we handled well. Our youngest son was fifteen at the time (this was last year). When we were both at work, he found the truck keys and snuck out. HE WRECKED THE TRUCK. Not bad, but it was a fender bender. Now - THAT is a serious violation, on a number of fronts.
We had a $500 deductible on our insurance. We made him work to earn that money. We have a big place - we live out in the country. We paid him $8 an hour to do yardwork, wash vehicles, paint, work on fences, etc. till he paid off that $500. It took him most of the summer (weekends only). We didn't make him work all weekend, every weekend. We pay him to do hard work around here nearly every Saturday anyway - but that money went into our pockets instead of his till that deductible was paid. I thought that was appropriate.