Pickin up chicks! (or Dating)

[Ormiston]

All around though, I'd advise doing less talking about anything and more listening. Girls will talk enough for the both of you.

Straight out of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"! This one is going to take some practice. I'm the type that usually ruins things pretty quickly by talking TOO much. Before I know it, I've got a new best friend and ZERO chance of scoring. Anyone else run into that problem? Any advice from the "Experts"?

 

[Sunstone]

Ormiston, in this town (Colorado Springs), the coffee shops are an excellent place to meet new people. I met about 200 people over the years I was a regular at one particular shop. You might give the shops in Detroit a try. I think it works best, however, if you become a regular at a shop. That way, the other regulars see you so often that they think they know you even before you've really been introduced, and it makes the initial introduction very easy.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I'm 30 with a lot of time on my hands and some girlfriends sounds pretty nice right now.

Note the use of the plural here.

 

[Ormiston]

Ormiston, in this town (Colorado Springs), the coffee shops are an excellent place to meet new people. I met about 200 people over the years I was a regular at one particular shop. You might give the shops in Detroit a try. I think it works best, however, if you become a regular at a shop. That way, the other regulars see you so often that they think they know you even before you've really been introduced, and it makes the initial introduction very easy.

Man, people must love coffee. It seems nearly unanymous that coffee shops are useful when meeting people. Sunstone, what time of the week did you spend there?

Interesting fact: Next to oil, coffee is the most traded commodity.

 

[Ormiston]

Note the use of the plural here.

What, what??

 

[angellous_evangellous]

What, what??

Girlfriends have a habit of meeting. I'd stick to one at a time. You don't want a girl and all her friends to hate your guts. If you play your cards right you can date a girl and then all her friends and keep your list of people who hate your guts as short as possible, whilst in the mean time...

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Before I know it, I've got a new best friend and ZERO chance of scoring. Anyone else run into that problem? Any advice from the "Experts"?

But she can introduce you to her friends...

 

[jamaesi]

Don't be a jerk. As for dressing, something clean is nice.


And no jerkiness. If the woman is smart she'll turn tail and run.

 

[Yerda]

Anyone else run into that problem? Any advice from the "Experts"?

I'm certainly not an expert, but making good friends with someone doesn't preclude sex in my experience. My advice, if that is hindering your chances, is to make it clear you're sexually attracted a bit earlier.

 

[Druidus]

Me and Penny just kind of grew together.

I think the best thing you can do is find a social circle that has females in it ("untaken", necessarily), and hang out with that circle often. If you're a likeable person, you'll soon notice that one or more of the females gravitates more towards you.

I knew it was time to ask her out when phone calls (to check if she was able to go out with us for a drive) became awkward.

 

[Bangbang]

I find that coffee shops are extremely dangerous because coffee is very hot and I have to bring my own hotdogs. I have had a few cups thrown at me. I hate women that have no sense of humour.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

I'm certainly not an expert, but making good friends with someone doesn't preclude sex in my experience. My advice, if that is hindering your chances, is to make it clear you're sexually attracted a bit earlier.

As loath as I am to admit this one could possibly get anything right, it is true that there is no law against sleeping with a friend. However - and it's a hefty however - you will find most women will share a lot more with someone they consider a friend than they will with someone who they have a view to have sex/a relationship with. Once you're privy to that information, you know too much, and as a friend of mine is just finding out now with her husband who she used to be friends with, that can come back and bite you.

 

[Mister_T]

Straight out of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"! This one is going to take some practice. I'm the type that usually ruins things pretty quickly by talking TOO much. Before I know it, I've got a new best friend and ZERO chance of scoring. Anyone else run into that problem? Any advice from the "Experts"?

I'm no expert, but I'll share anyways:

Yeah, I ran into this problem when I was younger. If it's one thing I've learned it's that women love to talk. So let 'em do just that. Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation going. I always try to avoid bringing up heavy topics like relationships and such. Try and keep the conversation light and funny. Make sure that she has more fun than a barrel of monkeys! Don't worry about scoring, or at least act like you don't. Act like you could take it or leave it. Don't treat scoring like it's a rare commodity. Act like YOU KNOW you could score any time you want. Remeber, C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E.

And don't let a women know everything about you all at once. Let her find out over time. You always want to remain a bit mysterious. Everytime you take 2 steps forward in your relationship, take one step back. This creates tension and leaves her wanting more. I always equate dating to fishing: Throw your line out with some bait. Let her nibble BUT just a little bit. Then reel some of it in. Repeat. Keep doing this, And eventually the fish won't be able to stand it anymore and will go all out to attack your line. That's when you reel it in and the next thing you know you've got dinner

If you ever find yourself in that friend trap again, distance yourself from her and start looking for other girls. If she calls tell her your busy. And somewhere down the line, casually let her know that your dating other women. I've found this works quite well

 

[willything]

for me the answer is ( not blowing in the wind....sorry) it is just to be yourself. and i know it works as iv got the QTR . dont try n be someone your not, as youll just get someone you wont enjoy ( well long time ) so again just be you..

 

[Sunstone]

Ormiston, in answer to your question, "What times do I go to the coffee shop", I have gone at all times of the day and all days of the week. I've noticed that the make up of the crowd changes depending on the time of day and day of the week. Early in the mornings, it's packed with people on their way to work. Around mid day, it's packed with high school kids on their lunch break. Weekend mornings, it's largely a middle aged crowd. Weekend mornings are good times to meet people of my own age and interests.

Some years ago, when I was new in town, I choose that particular coffee shop because it sold the cheapest cup of coffee around. Unknown to me, the coffee shop was the hang out of kids from a nearby high school. Since I would get to the shop around noon, when the kids did, the first 100 or so people I met in this town were all 18 or under. I despaired of having a social life with people my own age. But then a strange thing begin to happen. The kids decided I was cool, and started to introduce me to their single and divorced mothers. Moral of the story: don't be quick to discount meeting anyone. Even people you aren't interested in dating will sometimes introduce you to someone you are interested in dating.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Ormiston, in answer to your question, "What times do I go to the coffee shop", I have gone at all times of the day and all days of the week. I've noticed that the make up of the crowd changes depending on the time of day and day of the week. Early in the mornings, it's packed with people on their way to work. Around mid day, it's packed with high school kids on their lunch break. Weekend mornings, it's largely a middle aged crowd. Weekend mornings are good times to meet people of my own age and interests.

Retired? :highfive:

Some years ago, when I was new in town, I choose that particular coffee shop because it sold the cheapest cup of coffee around. Unknown to me, the coffee shop was the hang out of kids from a nearby high school. Since I would get to the shop around noon, when the kids did, the first 100 or so people I met in this town were all 18 or under. I despaired of having a social life with people my own age. But then a strange thing begin to happen. The kids decided I was cool, and started to introduce me to their single and divorced mothers. Moral of the story: don't be quick to discount meeting anyone. Even people you aren't interested in dating will sometimes introduce you to someone you are interested in dating.

Pick up line: "You like to fish?"

 

[Ormiston]

Just an update for anyone who's interested. I went shopping Saturday morning for some new clothes. I just walked through the men's department looking at manikins until I felt like I had some idea of what I wanted to buy. I probably spent a hundred bucks on clothes. Then I went out to a friend's B-day party at some kerioki bar. I talked to a lot of girls and saw a few that I wished I would have met. Here's my question: should I be trying to get phone numbers/setting up dates at social events or just having fun? It seems really challenging to get any quality one-on-one time in at a crowded bar.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

manikins

kerioki

Just don't write a lady a note. She'll have no clue what you are trying to say.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I talked to a lot of girls and saw a few that I wished I would have met. Here's my question: should I be trying to get phone numbers/setting up dates at social events or just having fun? It seems really challenging to get any quality one-on-one time in at a crowded bar.

Have fun by getting numbers and dates at social events.

Concentrate on having fun. Meeting girls and getting numbers will happen as part of the process.

 

[Bangbang]

Just give themyour phone numberafter asking if they like sex or you can get even mor blunt. You will be suprised how many call you after thinking it over for awhile. One time after doing this the women slapped me in the face and cursed me out. I walked in the bar a week later and she immediately cameup tome grabbedme and started deep tongue kissin right at the bar. She said.....Lets go.......we went to my car and she just about raped me. Usually you get a more suttle response but it does work. Just try it? On a less agressive side.....just give your waitresses your number on the back of a match book and tell them to call if they would like to get to knowyou.Oh.....one more thing.It really helpsifyou got training in the martial arts just incase someone reacts violently. I got the training and it saved my butt a few times. You will meet women while you are traing. You couldalso find out where you closest Hmong (Laos immigrants) live. Those women are HOT!!!!!!! Vietnamese are the same. Don'tforget those dumbgoofy blondes either.