Reasons Americastan Is Better Than Australiastan!

[Valjean]

1) No baby stealing dingos threaten our picnics!

Well, we do have coyotes - I'd call it a wash.

Brickjectivity said: ↑
If Australia's so awesome, then why did they film LOTR in Tanzania?

Lewisnotmiller said: Errr...they filmed it in New Zealand. Which is near us. In any case, in the battle of Americastan versus Aussiestan, LOTR is not really a compelling argument...lol

Wasn't Cold Mountain filmed in Romania.
'nuf said...

 

[Wu Wei]

What shameless propoganda! MEL was born in New York!

He's YOUR fault!

Maybe so but Australialiastan took him and raised him in his formative years and now he speak some foreign language that is most definitely not Americaneseian... there are not take backsies...he's Australiastanian

 

[Wu Wei]

Someone should. I spent minutes finding a list to link to. Well...minute (singular) anyway.

Which I am told is a long attention span for a Australiastanian...

Phhht. We EXPORT most of the uranium, petroleum and coal we mine because we're so green we don't want to use it. Ahem...

not to mention you don't know how to use them....and they make horrible boomerangs and didigeridoos too

Good food is actually...you see, the difference between eating crap and eating whole...ermm...
Sorry, I'm not sure how to translate my response into Americastani.

crap huh...one word...vegemite

Never challenge an Aussie on beer swilling. It's our official national sport. We consume 6 litres per person more than you guys annually, and majority of our beer is actually beer. We also discovered the world's only truly effective hangover cure. I can't give it away entirely, but there are a couple of key tenets;
1) Hangovers don't occur whilst drinking, they occur AFTER drinking.
2) Beer can be used as a replacement for milk on cereal

granted the hangover cure and the cereal thing might be good ideas but BEER!!! we feed that watered down week kneed wimpy drink to our plague infested (but manly) rats... we drink WHISKEY!!! all the time... our kitchen sinks have it on tap

You're confusing 'job' and 'hobby' again.
I'll assist.
A hobby is something you do by choice, because it makes you feel good about yourself, or similar.
We wrestle crocs, laze around with beer, and give the world someone to look up to.
You invade small nations. Or large nations. Any nations, really.

well you may have me there, I am easily confused and often distracted by shinny objects but... I don't invade any nation of any size...you must be confusing me with someone else

A job is something you do for monetary reimbursement. All Aussies know bosses are ********, it's part of the Australian psych. Therefore, I work for myself. Sure, my boss is still a *******, but he's unlikely to sack me when I skive off. Unfortunately, I don't get the holidays this article spoke about, but...umm...
(I am SURE I had a point here somewhere...!)

You do realize that walking to the store, buying and then drinking beer is not a job right?

We actually charge way too much for uni, and I have a personally soap box I like to climb on with regards to this. However, since we're only comparing Australiastan to Americastan, we come out smelling like roses, since you guys seem keen to place every college student in permanent debt as a payback for having frat parties, or something.

Well I would answer this but your subpar Australiastanian ed-u-ma-ca-tion would make it difficult to understand...especially after you have had a few of those week beer things

Just barely, I think, and as long as you're allowed to answer by saying 'I'm here" rather than where you are in relation to the rest of the world. I'm sure Americans think of the Southern Hemisphere as 'the other hemisphere'.
We actually spread out our cities, and only have five that are populated by more than a million people. So if ya wanna go from an actual city to an actual city in Australia, you're either driving a frigging long way, or you're flying.

We don't need to know where anybody is...everyone needs to know where we are...wait...there is a southern hemisphere

You guys have us covered in terms of number of cars. I hope, for your sake, you also have us covered price-wise, since cars are expensive here, particular since local manufacture has all but stopped (quite a recent development). But we are probably better at the safety thing. It's weird, we have this reputation for being laidback, and saying no worries, but our road-rules are borderline ridiculously tight, and strictly enforced. Definite nanny state mentality. If I hear one more spokesperson mutter some drivel about reducing speed limits further because they know speed is a factor in deaths, I'll scream.
Of course speed is a factor. Travel at 1 km/h and you can ram every pedestrian you come across without killing them. Should we limit speed limits to 1 km/h? BAH!

km/h what the heck is that....MPH is the ONLY way to go....seriously I sometimes wonder when the rest of the world will figure that out.....

Errr...
*looks around*
Where am I ?

If you were in Americastan you'd know

Yeah. I'd bite the bullet on that one if I was you too. I was tempted just to offer that up, and leave it there, given that the rest of the list is of dubious quality/accuracy.

Alright already.. I know...quit rubbing it in....sheesh are all of the people form your land big into nagging or what

We said 'laid back' not hippie-free-love-protest-a-thon. Hippies seemed to stand for piles of idealistic stuff, then grew up to have brat kids called Sunflower that were never disciplined.
Standing seems like an awful lot of effort, and people with kids called Sunflower deserve a swift kick in the pants.

Yeah that just shows you are clueless about our superior laid back time of the 60s.... you really need to get out more...but a word of advice...I wouldn't ask any of the hippies from that time about it...likely they don't remember any of it anyway.

 

[Wu Wei]

Sissified? There is so much evidence of that NOT being true, but some is a little too graphic. This one isn't so bad (no blood, etc) but animals fighting is not everyone's cup of tea, so take care...

oh look the puppy is playing with the sissified rat..... our rats would eat em....both

 

[Revoltingest]

Ozzie lawyers are sissies!

 

[Viker]

Ozzie lawyers are sissies!

Why they got wigs?

 

[Revoltingest]

Why they got wigs?

They follow the British tradition of legal foppery, eg, powdered wigs, silk stockings, short pants, pasty complexion, a mincing walk, & deferential language.

 

[Renji]

I wouldn't bother. I'm an Asian.

 

[Smart_Guy]

I better stay out of this. I'm surrounded by Americans and Australians. Don't wanna have the beating of my life

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Which I am told is a long attention span for a Australiastanian...

Naw. You guys are the world's ADHD baby. Us, we get to drive the Nullabor Plain to get from Adelaide to Perth.

Literally has a 96 kilometre stretch of completely straight road. Western Australian end has a total population of 86. And the entire road stretches almost 1700km. We use this to teach patience.

not to mention you don't know how to use them....and they make horrible boomerangs and didigeridoos too

COURSE we know how to use 'em. We use them to sell to other folks and make lotsa money to support ourselves in the lifestyle to which we've become accustomed.

crap huh...one word...vegemite

It worries me that I'm talking great food and you think 'condiments', but perhaps I shouldn't be overly surprised?

granted the hangover cure and the cereal thing might be good ideas but BEER!!! we feed that watered down week kneed wimpy drink to our plague infested (but manly) rats... we drink WHISKEY!!! all the time... our kitchen sinks have it on tap

Yeah, but it's bourbon, which is kinda the poor cousin of anything we'd bother calling whiskey.
Wait until you're chilling by the pool on a 45 degree day (celcius). That icy beer is gonna look mighty good. And in winter you can switch to some of the best red wines in the world.

well you may have me there, I am easily confused and often distracted by shinny objects but... I don't invade any nation of any size...you must be confusing me with someone else

Meh, it was a cheap shot by me. But all's fair in love and RF threads.

You do realize that walking to the store, buying and then drinking beer is not a job right?

Sure I realise it's not a job. It's a calling.

Well I would answer this but your subpar Australiastanian ed-u-ma-ca-tion would make it difficult to understand...especially after you have had a few of those week beer things

LOL! Fair enough, mate.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

oh look the puppy is playing with the sissified rat..... our rats would eat em....both

Unlikely, mate. A red boomer would kick a grown man to death. But we wouldn't send in a roo to deal with a rat. We have some decent snakes here too...

 

[Revoltingest]

Flying the friendly skies in with Aussie airline....
Passengers Say Bathroom Breakdown Caused Virgin Australia Flight To Turn Back « CBS Los Angeles

The incident occurred on a Virgin Australia on Sunday.
A passenger told KCAL9’s Laurie Perez that the flight was only a few minutes in when he heard a “pop.”
He said the cabin was then filled with the worst kind of stench. Others took to Twitter to describe the incident.
Three hours in, the pilot eventually turned the plane around.
“It was a vile smell. It smelled like chemicals, excuse me, mixed with vomit and excrement and very acidic,” John Collins, a passenger, told Perez in a phone call from Australia Tuesday night.
Collins says a stream of liquid buckled into the carpeting.

But such events are just business as usual by Australiastanian standards.

In a statement, Virgin Australia denied any problems with the toilets....

 

[Brickjectivity]

Typical Australianistanian in their natural environment

 

[Smart_Guy]

Typical Australianistanian in their natural environment

Isn't that an American soldier?

 

[Revoltingest]

Isn't that an American soldier?

You might be right about that. Your average Australiastanian is typically prone.....

 

[Smart_Guy]

You might be right about that. Your average Australiastanian is typically prone.....

Is that yoga?

 

[Revoltingest]

You might be right about that. Your average Australiastanian is typically prone.....

She's not Yoda.....oh.....you mean......it's "Australiastanian" yoga.

 

[Smart_Guy]

She's not Yoda.....oh.....you mean......it's "Australiastanian" yoga.

She's Australian?

Wow, how did you know that?

 

[Revoltingest]

She's Australian?

Wow, how did you know that?

It's her posture.

 

[Smart_Guy]

It's her posture.

And from thou we learn

SG 5:74