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RF Every day sexism

Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
I myself would call it sexual harassment. But call it emotional bullying if you wish.

The thing is though was it really sexual? From want I read it was more romantic. Yes he was sexually attracted to her but I get the impression they tricked him into thinking she wanted to have romantic relationship with the flowers and such?
If a group of guys did that to me I wouldn't see it as sexual harassment which would be unwanted attention.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
I'm making this post on the slight chance that anyone -- male or female -- might still be making an effort -- an open-minded effort -- to understand how deeply my friend felt after what the girl's pulled on him.

My experience is admittedly limited, but most men (and I do indeed mean most) fear being rejected by a woman they are attracted to more than they fear being alone.

If I had a dollar for each time some man I've known has refused to ask out a woman because he couldn't make himself face the acute misery of rejection, I could pay a month's rent. And if I had ten dollars for each time some man I've known has spent his entire single's life asking out only women he wouldn't too terribly mind being rejected by, instead of the women he really wants to ask out, I could pay the following month's rent.

I believe that in all likelihood, rejection is the typical male's most powerfully entrenched sexual fear. Men have now and then sought my advice through-out my adult life, and that's their number one issue, so far as I can recall.

So, perhaps you can partly imagine what it could be like for a man -- especially a relatively inexperienced man -- to encounter, not mere rejection, but rejection pointedly aimed at humiliating him, by a woman he longs will think well of him.

My apologies to anyone who read this and didn't want to hear it.

What happened to your friend I would call emotional abuse and also extortion.And yes it was calculated and cruel.
 

Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I had a car accident once where a girl with a BMW hit me in the side of my car, with the face of hers. This was the kind of accident where we were both wrong. One might be a bit more so than the other, but i couldn't tell who. Both our cars got messed up, and as soon as we got out, she got anxious. She started saying that if she was in the wrong she would totally admit it, but that she doesn't think she was, and seemed worried of what is normally the common reactions; lots of swearing and yelling. She wasn't rude or loud at all, just seemed anxious about what i was going to say.

I told her it was cool, and just kept looking at both cars, kinda of clueless. If she was in the wrong, i'd just say it's okay, offer help and then go on. But if i was, she might also want compensation, so it was awkward. I wasn't sure, and i don't think she was either. And this wasn't like a trivial sum of money in question, her car would cost like 4 times as much as mine would, if not more. So, all i did was offer help.

Now, people showed up, and it was time to hear what they had to say. Everyone, without exception, took my side. Almost instantly i thought that was weird, since it didn't seem that clear to me, but i thought it might be the shock or something that caused to misjudge the situation.

Then, they kept whispering to me that i should make her pay for it, since it wasn't my fault. More than one person did, and i listened without saying anything. She understandably got angry and started yelling at them, and said that i had already said i was wrong and that it was pathetic of them to try and convince me otherwise. But, i didn't actually say that, i just said it was cool. So i smiled and felt more awkward, but then everyone started defending me before i got the chance to.

They would argue with her a little, then look back at me and signal that i shouldn't pay no matter what. I wanted to actually ask them to stay out of it, but i couldn't since they were the witnesses. One guy especially made me feel like asking them to leave it alone, as he kept looking at her when she talked, smirking, then after she'd finish, he'd look at me and shake his head. I honestly couldn't help laughing the first time he did it, because i completely failed to see what bothered him so much.

More came later when her father and an associate of his came to the scene, but that's irrelevant. My feelings regarding that day are uncertain, but i'm suspect of their support. It seemed a bit too much to me, and i wasn't sure whether it was the fact that she was rich, that she was a girl, or both that made them take my side. Could be of course that they honestly thought i wasn't wrong, but i couldn't help suspect something else was going on.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
I had a car accident once where a girl with a BMW hit me in the side of my car, with the face of hers.

My cousin calls that "t-boned".

[QUOTEThen, they kept whispering to me that i should make her pay for it, since it wasn't my fault.][/QUOTE]


Women drivers.

They would argue with her a little, then look back at me and signal that i shouldn't pay no matter what.

Because women shouldn't be allowed to drive..they are women..they don't know how to operate a moving vehicle..

I'm sure her driving an expensive car didn't help.But had it been a guy driving the same car...??I don't think the same kind of assumptions would have been made.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Maybe they were jealous because women aged 35-55 are the lowest risk drivers on the road? Maybe they are jealous because teenage girls get lower premiums than boys because they are statistically much less likely to get in a major accident?

Why will people advertise a used car as "lady driven" and its likely to sell sooner?

But yet you get "women drivers" and the roll eyes and smirks..like the opposite of the truth.On average women are safer drivers..

But HEY I just wonder..how does the fact men "insist" on driving if its between him and his GF or wife factor in..After all hes the man he should drive...

5 Studies That Prove Women Are Safer Drivers Than Men
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Speaking of driving and "everyday sexism' my husband has done it to me..I think of it more as a "control freak thing" ..maybe if I was a guy he would act the same way but I wonder..On the RARE occasions I've driven when it was the two of us and he the passenger(maybe 10 in 25 years)...One of the times ..3 lanes 10 am in the morning.(not rush hour) in the suburbs..(so not city traffic) ..I was in the left hand lane going about 39 mph in a 40...a car about 5 car lenghts in front of me in the middle lane going about 41 mph put their signal on and got in my lane (the left) coming up to a red light..they put on their brakes to slow down for the light and so did I ..nice and smooth ..And my husband screams OH MY GOD YOU JUST ALMOST GOT IN WRECK!

So according to him I "almost got into a wreck" because I slowed down because the car in front of me slowed down.There was not sudden breaking like skid marks on the road..not jerking heads..Just I put the breaks on for a car that pulled in front of me that put their breaks on... :confused:

I think its because Im a girl ..
 
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Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Maybe they were jealous because women aged 35-55 are the lowest risk drivers on the road? Maybe they are jealous because teenage girls get lower premiums than boys because they are statistically much less likely to get in a major accident?

Why will people advertise a used car as "lady driven" and its likely to sell sooner?

But yet you get "women drivers" and the roll eyes and smirks..like the opposite of the truth.On average women are safer drivers..

But HEY I just wonder..how does the fact men "insist" on driving if its between him and his GF or wife factor in..After all hes the man he should drive...

5 Studies That Prove Women Are Safer Drivers Than Men
My bf always drives if we're together, mostly because I make him drive, since I hate driving.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
My bf always drives if we're together, mostly because I make him drive, since I hate driving.

Well then you should thank him..that's awful nice of him...chivalrous ..nothing wrong with that.

But I don't hate driving.I especially don't like driving when I do with a person who thinks I'm incapable because hes a man..

See the difference?
 

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Well then you should thank him..that's awful nice of him...chivalrous ..nothing wrong with that.

But I don't hate driving.I especially don't like driving when I do with a person who thinks I'm incapable because hes a man..

See the difference?
Oh I know the difference.

Yeah it would drive me crazy if a guy felt the need to drive all the time.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Oh I know the difference.

Yeah it would drive me crazy if a guy felt the need to drive all the time.

Thank you.I have nothing against a guy driving.Just like he should have nothing against me driving..at least not based on gender that is.
 

Alceste

Vagabond
Well then you should thank him..that's awful nice of him...chivalrous ..nothing wrong with that.

But I don't hate driving.I especially don't like driving when I do with a person who thinks I'm incapable because hes a man..

See the difference?

Might not be a sexism thing. Every time I drive with my mother in the car, she's in a perpetual state of bracing for impact. Gasping and having mild panic attacks. Basically, she'd just rather be driving. Between me and my hubby, I drive most of the time. He's a really nervous driver.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
Might not be a sexism thing. Every time I drive with my mother in the car, she's in a perpetual state of bracing for impact. Gasping and having mild panic attacks. Basically, she'd just rather be driving. Between me and my hubby, I drive most of the time. He's a really nervous driver.
I do that. Not because of my husband's driving. He is actually quite safe. More because of others' driving. NYC? They will cut you off without even knowing you're there. No one drives defensively here. It's "Get your *** out of my way or you will be the pavement! I am WAY more important than you!"
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
The greatest marital aid ever invented is the GPS. But I've a caution for those planning to get a new one:
I like my GPS to prompt me with info, eg, the name of the upcoming street, directions, distances. But my last one would continually say "recalculating" whenever we were off piste. It didn't bother me, but Mrs Revolt reacted as though Sarah were a real person nagging her. It was not pretty. My new Sarah (Garmin Nuvi 3590) recalculates without that nagging old sci fi robotic habit of announcing its agenda. Now, neither Sarah nor Mrs ever says "Must kill all humans!". (Note: I named her after Ms Palin during a long trip with spouse & another couple...all 3 staunch Democrats. It had to be.)
 
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Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Who needs a GPS? That's what wives are for!!
Long long ago, in an age which I hope never to see again, Mrs Revolt would tailgate, speed, & expect the same of me (not my style). When I drove, she'd continually advise me on what I should've been doing. So letting her drive (while I closed my eyes & hoped for the best) with me as navigator was the lowest stress arrangement. Nowadays, she has adopted my driving tactics, eg, leave at least 3 seconds between us & the car ahead, no excessive speeding.

Note: Most of my driving is with truck & trailer with precious loads. So I plan ahead to have ample breaking room, & prefer to modulate my speed without touching the brakes at all. Driving more slowly is safer, cuz things go wrong proportionally to the square of the speed. I also distrust my attention span & reaction time....tis better to be cautious than over-confident.
 
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