RF Every day sexism

[DreadFish]

chivalrous ..nothing wrong with that.

Except that it's sexist!!! Dun dunn dunnnnn :foot:

 

[DreadFish]

Speaking of driving and "everyday sexism' my husband has done it to me..I think of it more as a "control freak thing" ..maybe if I was a guy he would act the same way but I wonder..On the RARE occasions I've driven when it was the two of us and he the passenger(maybe 10 in 25 years)...One of the times ..3 lanes 10 am in the morning.(not rush hour) in the suburbs..(so not city traffic) ..I was in the left hand lane going about 39 mph in a 40...a car about 5 car lenghts in front of me in the middle lane going about 41 mph put their signal on and got in my lane (the left) coming up to a red light..they put on their brakes to slow down for the light and so did I ..nice and smooth ..And my husband screams OH MY GOD YOU JUST ALMOST GOT IN WRECK!

So according to him I "almost got into a wreck" because I slowed down because the car in front of me slowed down.There was not sudden breaking like skid marks on the road..not jerking heads..Just I put the breaks on for a car that pulled in front of me that put their breaks on...

I think its because Im a girl ..

Sounds more like a control freak thing. Or maybe, was he ever in a wreck at some point in his life? My mother can easily get freaked out by a car in front of us slowing down suddenly because she once rear-ended a car like that in the rain and had an awful wreck.

Im a very critical driver, and I hold myself to a standard, so I hate riding with people who are poor at driving. I admit to backseat driving many a time . Anyway, the people who I have disliked riding with run the gamut of male and female evenly. Though, when it comes to other drivers being bad and keeping me on my toes, they have more often than not been women Just the other day I had a teenage girl take a left turn into the lane I was turning right into (Which I have the right of way) and then laugh when I had to slow down to avoid her running right into my side. Im sure that had more to do with her being a dumb teenager who then started texting when we came to a light than the fact that she was a female, I just wanted to rant about it

I think the average driver is just not really that great at driving, no matter what their sex

 

[MysticSang'ha]

My husband prefers to drive when both of us are in the same car. I once wondered if it was a sexist motivation, and I asked him about women drivers, and he told me repeatedly that it's just that he wants to be the one in the drivers seat.

So, I dropped it and just busied myself wondering if he was either denying sexist motivations or if he really was telling the truth. Then our sons started driving, and I was there while they were driving, he was in the passenger seat freaking out over everything they did, and I was in the backseat amused as all heck.

I discovered it had nothing to do with women drivers. I saw he really was being honest with his intentions and perspective. Men, women, boys or girls...he doesn't like anybody in the drivers seat except him when it comes to having anything to do with a car.

 

[DallasApple]

Sounds more like a control freak thing.

I know ,I know...sigh... :sad4:

 

[dgirl1986]

I have actually been harassed by a girl before in high school, who used to grab my boobs, now I didn't actually mind girls touching my boobs in high school but she was too aggressive with it, as in she wouldn't stop until she managed to grab my boobs.

My ex step mum almost got date raped by a lady friend of hers when she was in high school.

 

[dgirl1986]

This may not be a sexism thing...but it seems that people assume that because I am a chick and I am writing documents for my department that it somehow means that I should be doing all the admin assistant stuff as well...

 

[DallasApple]

Im a very critical driver, and I hold myself to a standard, so I hate riding with people who are poor at driving.

So am I ..and I see myself as a much better driver than him.(and my record proves it).So why is it "automatic " he drives? i swear to God its been because hes "the man".AND he denies its possible I could drive as well..let alone better..

Im going to try and find this video..It will crack some people up ..but its also evidence that "man driving' holds deeper roots than simply is a control freak..

 

[Penumbra]

I think the average driver is just not really that great at driving, no matter what their sex

According to surveys, 80-90% of people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

 

[DallasApple]

According to surveys, 80-90% of people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

But according to statistics (every study done) women are safer drivers.(on average)

Doesn't mean all men are bad drivers or no woman is a bad driver.Just read the studies.

 

[Penumbra]

But according to statistics (every study done) women are safer drivers.(on average)

Doesn't mean all men are bad drivers or no woman is a bad driver.Just read the studies.

I'm aware of that, and I'm also not sure how that applies to my post.

 

[DallasApple]

I'm aware of that, and I'm also not sure how that applies to my post.

It was a "spin" off from your response to on average no one is actually a good driver...This is about sexism.And women have been touted "worse drivers than men" forever! In fact they have been the brunt of JOKES as to their driving since driving began..Like blonde jokes...And the truth is its the other way around. Just sayin!

 

[Penumbra]

It was a "spin" off from your response to on average no one is actually a good driver...This is about sexism.And women have been touted "worse drivers than men" forever! In fact they have been the brunt of JOKES as to their driving since driving began..Like blonde jokes...And the truth is its the other way around. Just sayin!

I didn't say otherwise.

 

[DreadFish]

According to surveys, 80-90% of people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

Yes! I have heard that. I totally believe it. Im sure this goes back to that Dunning-Kreuger effect.

I know this means that my stating that I feel like im an above average driver is automatically in question, but I still state it!

I only have confidence in that statement because I consciously hold myself to a driving standard. I like driving and I want to do it well


Totally unrelated to the OP though

 

[DreadFish]

But according to statistics (every study done) women are safer drivers.(on average)

Doesn't mean all men are bad drivers or no woman is a bad driver.Just read the studies.

There are studies that state otherwise

Also, I dont really hold studies that measure better drivers by insurance statistics to be totally relevant. IMO, following the law doesn't make you a better driver, controlling your car exactly as you intend, and doing it efficiently, makes you a good driver. Anyway, I think the best way to test that would not be epidemiologically, but with an actual test group on a driving course designed to test actual driving prowess.

Also, I have know many blondes who keep my belief in the blond stereotype strong

 

[HiddenDjinn]

There was more than one, they (three of them) each gave a score, and one of them gave two scores (an "objective score" and his "subjective score" based on his preferences, according to him. :sarcastic)

They weren't low scores but that's not the point. The point is that I had to work on a system with a guy that described his opinions of my face, legs, breasts, even smaller details, and gave me a 1-10 score.

OK, let me get this straight:
You applied to a job that had an exclusively male engineering department, and before you had socially integrated with them, they behaved as if their office was a male space. Not only that, the fact that they behaved as if it was a male space upset you. Am I in the ballpark here?

Of course they did that. In a male space, those conversations happen. It is a fact of life. The problem exists now that male spaces are becoming fewer and further between. Your co-workers changed their behavior as you started integrating socially with them, did they not?

This appears to me a difference between expectation in reality, nothing more.

 

[Penumbra]

Yes! I have heard that. I totally believe it. Im sure this goes back to that Dunning-Kreuger effect.

I know this means that my stating that I feel like im an above average driver is automatically in question, but I still state it!

I only have confidence in that statement because I consciously hold myself to a driving standard. I like driving and I want to do it well


Totally unrelated to the OP though

I'm one of the 10-20% of people that identifies as a below average driver.

 

[Penumbra]

OK, let me get this straight:
You applied to a job that had an exclusively male engineering department, and before you had socially integrated with them, they behaved as if their office was a male space. Not only that, the fact that they behaved as if it was a male space upset you. Am I in the ballpark here?

Of course they did that. In a male space, those conversations happen. It is a fact of life. The problem exists now that male spaces are becoming fewer and further between. Your co-workers changed their behavior as you started integrating socially with them, did they not?

This appears to me a difference between expectation in reality, nothing more.

I'm not sure what led you to assume it was an exclusively male engineering department.

It was not. There were women there before me, and women that came after me, although we are in the minority here. They've talked about the appearance of other women at the office within my earshot too.

I don't think it's acceptable to rate employees on an attractiveness scale or discuss the size and shape of their breasts and other bodily aspects at the workplace. I'm surprised there would be contest about that concept.

 

[Rakhel]

I scare my husband with my driving. Not because he thinks I'm bad, but because I'm aggressive as all hell.
I will run you down because you you are taking to long to turn right.
I will sit on your bumper because I'll be damned if the schmuck on my left, or right, is going to get the spot in front of me, simply because he thought he was special and could jump a head of the looooong line of cars that have been waiting to take the off ramp or enter the tunnel.
Rage rage? I don't have road rage. I don't even know what that is:flirt:

 

[HiddenDjinn]

I'm not sure what led you to assume it was an exclusively male engineering department.

It was not. There were women there before me, and women that came after me, although we are in the minority here. They've talked about the appearance of other women at the office within my earshot too.

I don't think it's acceptable to rate employees on an attractiveness scale or discuss the size and shape of their breasts and other bodily aspects at the workplace. I'm surprised there would be contest about that concept.

Ok, so they endeavored to keep it a male space even with women present. That fact is mildly surprising.

 

[Penumbra]

Ok, so they endeavored to keep it a male space even with women present. That fact is mildly surprising.

In practice, they try to keep mini male spaces amongst themselves but don't seem to fully appreciate how far their voices travel around walls and such.