Saving Yourself for Marriage?

[Astravalon]

Are there any advantages to not having sex before marriage? If so, what are those advantages? How important are they when compared to the advantages, if any, of having sex before marriage?

Speaking from my own experience ...

Advantage of waiting: One would then know that the first time they'd ever made whoopie, like, ever, was with the guy/gal they loved enough to want to marry. So that's kinda nice. That being said...

Disadvantage: If one waits till marriage, one won't know how one feels about the making of whoopie until it's too late. So if one decides it's just not all it's cracked up to be, and that they'd be just as happy (if not happier) living celibate, they won't have figured this out until the knot has been tied. Depending on how important sex is in the relationship, and how dreadful the idea of divorce is to the couple in question, this can cause some considerable … heartburn.

So I think that there may be at least a slight advantage to giving it a go before marriage to see if one even likes doing it. There may also be advantages to avoiding marriage altogether – at least, in its traditional form involving vows declaring that the future will be just as promised at the altar, which, imo, raises spousal expectations far higher than can be humanly accommodated anyway (but that's for another thread... or not. ).


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[Draka]

It's fine to be a virgin. If someone wants to wait until they find love, that's fine. Great. If they do so because of their religious beliefs, ok. But to sit here and go on and on with BS about "ugly" women and "beautiful" women and this crap that you get "ugly" by having sex. Well...that's just ridiculous and outright garbage. Not to mention about as nasty and degrading to women as can be when you sit back and judge them based upon their looks and try to link it so some kind of "****"-factor.

 

[Shermana]

Ehm. No the problem is that this is indeed the silliest perspective I have heard in RF. from someone I am sure is not a troll.

It's a silly perspective to believe that there's a corrolation between attractiveness and engaging in casual sex and not believing its a purely psychological phenomenon, and the fact that upper status men prefer virgins?

I'm getting the impression that anyone who's on the pro-virginity-before-marriage side of the argument is simply going to get brushed off.

If you're under the impression that these cultures worldwide have historically had such an ideal for no good reason, well have a good time bashing.

I gave you a hint behind my hypothesis, perhaps one day, as I said twice, I'll be able to get conservatives to donate to my cause to make a real study about it when they aren't busy throwing their dollars at anti-abortion campaigns.

 

[Shermana]

It's fine to be a virgin. If someone wants to wait until they find love, that's fine. Great. If they do so because of their religious beliefs, ok. But to sit here and go on and on with BS about "ugly" women and "beautiful" women and this crap that you get "ugly" by having sex. Well...that's just ridiculous and outright garbage. Not to mention about as nasty and degrading to women as can be when you sit back and judge them based upon their looks and try to link it so some kind of "****"-factor.

I'm sorry if you don't like people on the opposing side of the argument actually arguing their point using objective terms that you find offensive.

If you find it nasty and degrading to women, I got news for you: Women use these ideas and terms too. Lots of them. If not most. Women are the biggest "****-shamers" I know.

We need to have a rule on the gender discussions issue: "Please do not try to smear the opposing argument with claims that you are offended. They really don't care if you're offended. Stick to the argument".

 

[Me Myself]

It's a silly perspective to believe that there's a corrolation between attractiveness and engaging in casual sex and not believing its a purely psychological phenomenon, and the fact that upper status men prefer virgins?

Its silly to believe sex makes you uglier. I just cant fathom how you imagine biology doing that, and I wont assume you will say God makes you uglier because of your sin or something, so I just cant understand what no Earth do you think happens that makes a woman uglier because she has more sex partners (is it more sex or more sex partners anyways?)

 

[Shermana]

Its silly to believe sex makes you uglier. I just cant fathom how you imagine biology doing that, and I wont assume you will say God makes you uglier because of your sin or something, so I just cant understand what no Earth do you think happens that makes a woman uglier because she has more sex partners (is it more sex or more sex partners anyways?)

I've given you a hint three times of my basis for this belief.

The answer is more sex partners. Although more sex with the same partner can cause a similar effect but not nearly to the same degree. Again, it's rooted in the well known concept that married couples tend to look like each other after time.

 

[Me Myself]

If you find it nasty and degrading to women, I got news for you: Women use these ideas and terms too. Lots of them. If not most. Women are the biggest "****-shamers" I know.

Oh I agree, women are the worst **** shamers I know too.

They are still doing a nasty and degrading thing to other women when they do that, and quite honestly, society in general has made them become that ugly with their sisters.

I dont find it any worst or best if a woman says it than if a man says it when it happens with nasty intention.

 

[Me Myself]

I've given you a hint three times of my basis for this belief.

Anecdotal evidence and you think the preference of upper level men do not come from millennia of social conditioning "alone" .

 

[Draka]

I'm sorry if you don't like people on the opposing side of the argument actually arguing their point using objective terms that you find offensive.

If you find it nasty and degrading to women, I got news for you: Women use these ideas and terms too. Lots of them. If not most. Women are the biggest "****-shamers" I know.

We need to have a rule on the gender discussions issue: "Please do not try to smear the opposing argument with claims that you are offended. They really don't care if you're offended. Stick to the argument".

OMG You are completely unbelievable.

You really don't see what you are saying as wrong in any way do you? You think you are above reproach.

 

[Shermana]

Anecdotal evidence and you think the preference of upper level men do not come from millennia of social conditioning "alone" .

No, again it's based on the idea that married couples end up looking like each other. See my edit.

You want me to spell it out?

I think the DNA entry makes direct physical changes to conform to it.

Perhaps one day I"ll be able to get conservatives to donate to a study to see if this is what causes married couples to look alike for one thing when they aren't busy throwing their money at anti-abortion campaigns.

 

[Shermana]

OMG You are completely unbelievable.

You really don't see what you are saying as wrong in any way do you? You think you are above reproach.

Blah blah ad hominem blah blah.

About all your side is capable of here.

 

[Me Myself]

No, again it's based on the idea that married couples end up looking like each other. See my edit.

You want me to spell it out?

I think the DNA entry makes direct physical changes to conform to it.

Perhaps one day I"ll be able to get conservatives to donate to a study to see if this is what causes married couples to look alike for one thing when they aren't busy throwing their money at anti-abortion campaigns.

Yes, but not just married couples. Any amounnt of people that live otgether for long time end up looking like eqch other.

If you want little "face corruption" you would need your virgin living alone in her house not seeing anyone frequently but you.

Tinking that having sex here and there would make the process stringer via increased intensity instead of larger exposure is still a very long shot, as there are many emotionally intense experiences and that could compare to sex given different frequencies of exposures.

In short, its too silly and farfetched to work.

 

[Draka]

No, again it's based on the idea that married couples end up looking like each other. See my edit.

You want me to spell it out?

I think the DNA entry makes direct physical changes to conform to it.

Perhaps one day I"ll be able to get conservatives to donate to a study to see if this is what causes married couples to look alike for one thing when they aren't busy throwing their money at anti-abortion campaigns.

LMAO So I wasn't far off.

My parents have been together for nearly 40 years man, they don't look anything like each other. There are plenty of couples out there that don't look a thing like each other at all. Did you ever think perhaps that, in some cases, certain similarities, where there are some, have more to do with things like similar diets and activities for so many years?

 

[Shermana]

Yes, but not just married couples. Any amounnt of people that live otgether for long time end up looking like eqch other.

If you want little "face corruption" you would need your virgin living alone in her house not seeing anyone frequently but you.

Tinking that having sex here and there would make the process stringer via increased intensity instead of larger exposure is still a very long shot, as there are many emotionally intense experiences and that could compare to sex given different frequencies of exposures.

In short, its too silly and farfetched to work.

Yes, it doesn't matter if they're married or long-term partners, the result would be the same. And the result doesn't even have to be long-term. The result can kick in with just one encounter.

I'm not sure I understand your second paragraph.

What's too far-fetched? The means to conduct an experiment? Nah, there's ways it can be done.

 

[Shermana]

An old study but not outdated.

Long-Married Couples Do Look Alike, Study Finds - NYTimes.com

 

[Me Myself]

Yes, it doesn't matter if they're married or long-term partners, the result would be the same. And the result doesn't even have to be long-term. The result can kick in with just one encounter.

I'm not sure I understand your second paragraph.

What's too far-fetched? The means to conduct an experiment? Nah, there's ways it can be done.

No, a direct link to sex and face change is too farfetched.

The face change happens with GOOD TIME because it happens through empathy.

Given that she doesnt need at all to have sex in order to have a lot of empathy towards a lot of people through long time, there would still be people influencing her face change without she ever having sex before marriage.

 

[Me Myself]

So it doesnt matter if they are having sex ir not, just if they see each other every day for a long time while caring enough about their emotions and empathizing.

In other words, what can happen with roomies with whom you never had sex with.

 

[Draka]

An old study but not outdated.

Long-Married Couples Do Look Alike, Study Finds - NYTimes.com

Did you read it?

It talks about shared emotions and about diets. Wrinkles in certain places because perhaps they are happy together or often angry or stressed or what-have-you. Fatty deposits they both tend to share because of certain diets they both share. I believe...that's kind of what I mentioned. None of this lends weight to your argument at all.

 

[Shermana]

So it doesnt matter if they are having sex ir not, just if they see each other every day for a long time while caring enough about their emotions and empathizing.

In other words, what can happen with roomies with whom you never had sex with.

I'm seriously really not understanding what this has to do with it. Are you saying that seeing each other every day causes such facial changes? I disagree with the conclusion of the researcher, I'm just using his data.

 

[Shermana]

Did you read it?

It talks about shared emotions and about diets. Wrinkles in certain places because perhaps they are happy together or often angry or stressed or what-have-you. Fatty deposits they both tend to share because of certain diets they both share. I believe...that's kind of what I mentioned. None of this lends weight to your argument at all.

Well yes that's the conclusion of the Psychologist. It's a rather stupid conclusion. Perhaps I can find a more modern study that actually looks at the science involved.

I'm just talking about the data here.