I just want to say that you have a heart similar to mine, and I've had a hard time accepting the concept of hell, however simply put hell is very real. There is a force out there that opposes good, a force that wants to steal as many souls from god as it can and it will do anything to get them. If you were to put your entire soul into finding the true heart of god.... you would find this.... god wishes for all men to return to him.... we are in a world filled with good and evil, sort of a learning ground to understand what is what..... and in the process many if not most of us get grabbed by the forces of evil. God values our will so much that he will never make us choose heaven over hell but he offers it to ALL men...... ALL MEN are welcome in heaven.
However there are some that for some reason or another do not turn from eternal hell fire, the reasons for this are debateable and perhaps beyond comprehension. Still the simple fact of the matter is that god gets no joy out of turning anyone from heaven....
Some of the greatest men in the bible were murderers.... if that doesn't show the true heart of god.... what does?
Yes, hell is very real because according to Scripture Jesus was in hell.
Acts 2:27,31.
But what is the Bible hell or hell fire? We can see by Jesus words at John 11:11-14 that Jesus believed that the dead are in a deep sleep-like state until they are resurrected. So Jesus would have believed that until God resurrected him from hell that he would in that deep sleeping state.
Since Jesus knew all of the Scriptures very well, Jesus would have knowledge of what the Bible writers had already written such as Solomon who wrote that the dead know nothing at Ecclesiastes 9:5,10.
Jesus was also familiar with the Psalms such as:
Psalm 6:5 that in death there is no remembrance
Psalm 13:3 the dead sleep the sleep of death
Psalm 115:17 the dead do not praise God
Psalm 146:4 at death thoughts perish.
See also Daniel 12:2,13.
Hellfire is often translated from the word Gehenna. Gehenna is a different word from the Hebrew word Sheol or the Greek word Hades.
Gehenna was garbage dump outside of Jerusalem where things were destroyed. Things were burnt up until they were ashes. Things were not kept burning forever. So Gehenna or hellfire is a fitting symbol of destruction.
So Jesus was in Hades [hell] and not in Gehenna [hellfire]. 2 Thess 1:9.
Besides Satan being destroyed (Hebrews 2:14 b), also hell will come to an end. Revelation 20:13,14 shows that hell will deliver up those dead in hell, then emptied-out hell dies a symbolic second death of no return. That is why Revelation 21:4 can rightly say that even death will be no more.
Are the people of Matthew 12:32 and Hebrews 6:4-6 welcome in heaven?
If they were, there would be no need for Matthew 20:28 B to say that Jesus ransom covers 'many'.