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What good are church teachings on Sex?

blackout

Violet.
That is your mother however, and The Roman Catholic expression of Christianity, not Christianity as a whole, or even Scripture.
[/i][/b]

Sex should be within marriage IMO. So... no one... IMO

Note however that I never said it was.

I asked in the OP for other's experiences in this regard.

BTW... all my mother did was FAITHFULLY follow her religion,
and try to pass that on to her children,
like any good church goer who wants heaven for them.

Also...
is there any need for church to tell you three can't legitimately marry?
Make a committed family?
 

Colabomb

Member
Note however that I never said it was.

I asked in the OP for other's experiences in this regard.

BTW... all my mother did was FAITHFULLY follow her religion,
and try to pass that on to her children,
like any good church goer who wants heaven for them.

Also...
is there any need for church to tell you three can't legitimately marry?
Make a committed family?

Well I think honestly that Two person marriage works best, and I believe (but i don't dare to speak for him definitively) that that is what God prefers.

But considering he allowed polygamy in the past i can't say definitively that I think its wrong.

I just am of the personal belief that Two person marriages work better.
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
I DONT know why...But it never says NOT to.....

So MY religion is starting a movement..to "de nasty" sex within marriage..That INCLUDES educating people..and YES about the joys..and in some detail too..

Blessings

Dallas

That is encouraging, love. That was part of my point earlier of what I personally would like to see. :)

Obviously, without going into too much sordid detail better left for the Eros Room, can you explain further how your religion is educating marital couples?




Peace,
Mystic
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
That is encouraging, love. That was part of my point earlier of what I personally would like to see. :)

Obviously, without going into too much sordid detail better left for the Eros Room, can you explain further how your religion is educating marital couples?




Peace,
Mystic

Well just metioning it in sermons as one of the good things in marriage periodically..and in fact whole sermons on romance in marrriage and within that context sex is talked about...how to keep the fire alive..obviously they dont give instructions on specfic sexual acts...BUT in fact the first time we went there I noticed they have different booths set up with info on upcoming seminars and such..One booth is all mens interest..volunteering info and so on..Well to my shock ,surprise and delight right there on the mens info table a book propped up ...Husbands ...How to Become a Better Lover. Right there for all to see A 4,000 member church too....I was like YAY!!!! Detailed info is available in more and more Christian authored books..Sheet Music..Intimacy Ignited...Love Sex and Lasting Relationships..etc....I am the proud owner of several..Including one callled The Gift of Sex written by a husband and wife team ..It gets all into how our sexuality was distorted and twisted and the history of that..and that is not how God wants it..They also get into details about how sex actually works ...different disfunctions that can interupt this experience..and advice on how to recover..

Also thanks to the world wide web..more and more Christian forums and articles and web sites are discussing this subject..and in fact for me it was talkign to sexually "liberated" married Christian women and reading some of these books that helped me accept myself..I was blown away to hear women talking about sex being a "blessign from God"..and they were referring to THEMSELVES not just the man ..I argued it was a curse..they helped open my eyes to the truth..

The "movement" or principle seems to be saying that lovemaking with your spouse..two "servant lovers" who's aim is to please one another and be unihibited and allow themselves to give and recieve with eagerness is the closest we will ever be able to compare to what our relationship with God should be like.Becoming one.

My hope and prayer is that more and more Christian women will be a positive influence in this area for other women who are having difficulties accepting this..For they are truly missing out.And if no one ever talks about it its like a dirty little secret in the closet..Of course sex outside of marriage is frowned upon..But you would be shocked to see how many women believe inside of marriage beleive its her "duty' to satisfy her husband and how inhibited they are even within the "duty sex" offering...Now at least Im starting to hear that its no duty for her..Its a God given gift..a need in men and women ...and its to be enjoyed to the fullest..

Also more detail and scrutiny is being examined to some in "general' differences in men and women..The other emotional needs that must be payed attention to for instance in women so she can feel safe/loved and confidant enough to want to explore..

There is really quite a bit of positive info out there and learnign tools if you are really intrested in growing in that area..

Blessings

Dallas
 

Ringer

Jar of Clay
I have mixed feelings about the subject and not sure how I can express it coherently.

The subject of sex is a fine line. I can understand why you don't find much about sex in the church besides the fact that scripture seems to support sex within the institution of marriage. We all know how fun it is or will be and the amount of pleasure we receive from it. Driving home that point in front of a congregation of mixed ages is something I would be hesitant to do as a pastor/priest. We drive home the point that sex is done within marriage but as a teenager, who wants to wait until they are in their 20's to experience such a pleasurable activity? I don't think the catholic church represses sexuality any more than it does the use of alcohol or drug use. Sure, those things may be pleasurable too but when abused it opens a pandora's box that can be difficult to keep in check. Aren't we more than our fleshly desires? We don't live our lives to please our flesh but we master our bodies in the same way we master our minds. In your experience UV, it seems to me that the the church did something similar to what we find in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit from the Tree but it's interesting to note that when Eve is talking to the Serpent, she tells it that not only are we to not eat of it but we are also not allowed to touch it. However, God never said not that they weren't supposed to touch it. IMO, Adam and Eve probably said to each other, "You know, it's bad news if we eat from this tree so just so we aren't tempted, lets not even touch the fruit lest we fall into temptation." Almost like adding an extra layer of protection.

Use all the lube, toys, mirrors, gadgets you want but expressions of sexuality are probably better enjoyed within marriage. I know it's hard and I'll admit like others around here that I have failed in that part of my life. I have found it enjoyable but I'll tell you what, those moments of pleasure wouldn't make up for the despair and and anguish I'd feel if I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant. Maybe it's just me but I'm still waiting for the days when I'm married and I don't feel a sense of guilt for having sense. I don't equate guilt with an institution trying to limit my sexuality. For me, I think it's a sense of conviction from the Holy Spirit.

Any of this make sense? Limiting your sexual activities until marriage isn't such an evil thing and I think it can make your experience that much more enjoyable and you save yourself a lot of potential "accidents".
 

blackout

Violet.
Well all in all I'm glad to see that most of you don't feel you were repressed/cheated
by your church/religious experiences as I know I was.

Honestly though I had no idea just how repressive the whole "holyness" thing was
until I got out of it.

I still don't know how one can reconcile "holy" and "dirty"
"good" and "naughty"
"pure" and "nasty"
"modest" and "sexy"

It's like a whole person thing.
Wouldn't you have to be skyzophrenic? (sp?)
Like two completely different people?

When I'm "vixen" for my husband
I KNOW I'm not "holy".

But I sure do feel "Wholy" good to be my sexual/sensual self uninhibited.

I"m not even going to get into the marriage thing in this thread.
It really wasn't what it was meant to be about at all.

It was more about KNOWING your self.
And embracing the fullness of your sexual self.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
It was more about KNOWING your self.
And embracing the fullness of your sexual self.

I agree..I wasnt trying to make it about marriage really either..Only to the extent that some people know thier sexual self wants monogomy/marriage to maximise physical and emtotional fullfillment..

Im just happy to say I see a change even within marriage to let go of the inhibitions and that its a good thing..

Of course your Pastor isnt going to stand up in Church and do a sermon on whats on sale at Codoms r Us or do a poll on which you prefer..Astroglide or Coconut oil...LOL!

Some things you figure out for yourself..Thats part of the fun..Just the "freedom" to explore is there without shame attached should be the message..

Blessings

Dallas
 

blackout

Violet.
Some things you figure out for yourself..Thats part of the fun..Just the "freedom" to explore is there without shame attached should be the message..

Blessings

Dallas

That's true Dallas.
If your church doesn't do the whole
"holy"/ pure/ pious/ female modesty indoctrinational thing
and clearly advocates the freedom to explore sexually without shame,
with one's comitted partner obviously,
and also by one's self in masturbation...


I guess that should be enough. :) :rainbow1:
(at least for most people who choose to do church)
 

blackout

Violet.
Of course that still rather leaves homosexuals and bi-sexuals in the lurch.
(at least in MOST christian churches, I would think...)

And those of us women who would do things such as
burlesque performance, pole dancing... etc etc...

What would your more inclusive churches say about womenly sensual art forms?
I really don't know, and am not asking tongue in cheek.

I was only ever Roman Catholic as I stated.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Of course that still rather leaves homosexuals and bi-sexuals in the lurch.
(at least in MOST christian churches, I would think...)

And those of us women who would do things such as
burlesque performance, pole dancing... etc etc...

What would your more inclusive churches say about womenly sensual art forms?
I really don't know, and am not asking tongue in cheek.

I was only ever Roman Catholic as I stated.

I dont know ...but personally I do not want my husband gettign turned on gazign at another womans body..Im selfish and greedy..

Now having said that..I like burlesque..I think its pretty..And as a woman I dont "lust" after the beautiful art...But I feel "sexual" watching it..Makes me want to shake my booty and swing around a pole on my tippy toes and only leave my hat on...LOL!

Blessings

Dallas
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
One of my favorite paintings....Is the Fisherman and the Siren..I'll post a link on Eros..

Blessings

Dallas
 

blackout

Violet.
Well there is nothing "dismaying' about it...Its sensual..Its classic..You have good taste..

Its on my wall too... ;)....Birthday present from my husband..

Blessings

Dallas

Very beautiful Dallas.
Thank you for sharing. :rainbow1:

(I saw it in EROS)
 

Starfish

Please no sarcasm
Of course that still rather leaves homosexuals and bi-sexuals in the lurch.
(at least in MOST christian churches, I would think...)

And those of us women who would do things such as
burlesque performance, pole dancing... etc etc...

What would your more inclusive churches say about womenly sensual art forms?
I really don't know, and am not asking tongue in cheek.

I was only ever Roman Catholic as I stated.

UltraViolet--this isn't really your subject, so please excuse me as I use your post to segue off into my thought. Thanks.

As I've said many times here, I raised sons. Going through their teenage years wasn't easy. They each had a goal to serve as a missionary and be married in an LDS temple, which requires very high moral conduct. As a female, I never realized how powerful the male hormones are. I still don't fully grasp it. But when girls go out barely dressed, it is extremely difficult for the boys to keep their thoughts where they should be. So many times I wanted to go our high school and plead with the girls to cover up a little more. I once asked several of the teenage boys in our church, and they all said they liked looking (being honest), but would prefer the girls were more modest.

I understand that many of you don't share my beliefs, and see no need to restrict one's thoughts. But for some of us, it's so very important, and the blessings of attaining one's goals are great. So we will keep trying, short of wear blindfolds, to cope with the overly-high sexual tone in our current society.
 

Hema

Sweet n Spicy
UltraViolet--this isn't really your subject, so please excuse me as I use your post to segue off into my thought. Thanks.

As I've said many times here, I raised sons. Going through their teenage years wasn't easy. They each had a goal to serve as a missionary and be married in an LDS temple, which requires very high moral conduct. As a female, I never realized how powerful the male hormones are. I still don't fully grasp it. But when girls go out barely dressed, it is extremely difficult for the boys to keep their thoughts where they should be. So many times I wanted to go our high school and plead with the girls to cover up a little more. I once asked several of the teenage boys in our church, and they all said they liked looking (being honest), but would prefer the girls were more modest.

I understand that many of you don't share my beliefs, and see no need to restrict one's thoughts. But for some of us, it's so very important, and the blessings of attaining one's goals are great. So we will keep trying, short of wear blindfolds, to cope with the overly-high sexual tone in our current society.

I agree with you to a certain extent. :) I think women can dress sexy without being trashy. However there are young girls who dress very inappropriately for their age.
 

Colabomb

Member
Well i do believe in a sense of modesty.

As I said before I believe Sexuality should be between yourself and your spouse, should you lack a spouse as many of us do at this point in our lives, we should keep it to ourselves so to speak.

I guess what i mean is this. Sex is not bad, I have never been taught that. I look forward to experimenting and being quite playful with my future wife. However I do believe that my body is for my spouse only, and thus i wait.

Sexual liberation doesn't mean "go out and have sex just for the fun of it". To me it means understanding sex and its power, and using it for pleasure and intimacy between two married people.
 

blackout

Violet.
UltraViolet--this isn't really your subject, so please excuse me as I use your post to segue off into my thought. Thanks.

I really have no idea what you mean by that,
but obviously you are in line with your church's teachings
and do not approve of the integration of sexuality
in "ordinary" daily life.

Unfortunately many others of us feel it is quite normal and fine,
and all just a part of life
so unfortunately it causes a rift.

It would be nice if we could feel differently about it
without seeking to impose our "opinions" on one another.

I for one will be moving to Vegas.
There, what's counter cultural here, will be "normal".
I can't wait.

We all must each come up with solutions that fit us.
Why resent and judge one another?
What good end does that serve?
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
UltraViolet--this isn't really your subject, so please excuse me as I use your post to segue off into my thought. Thanks.

As I've said many times here, I raised sons. Going through their teenage years wasn't easy. They each had a goal to serve as a missionary and be married in an LDS temple, which requires very high moral conduct. As a female, I never realized how powerful the male hormones are. I still don't fully grasp it. But when girls go out barely dressed, it is extremely difficult for the boys to keep their thoughts where they should be. So many times I wanted to go our high school and plead with the girls to cover up a little more. I once asked several of the teenage boys in our church, and they all said they liked looking (being honest), but would prefer the girls were more modest.

I understand that many of you don't share my beliefs, and see no need to restrict one's thoughts. But for some of us, it's so very important, and the blessings of attaining one's goals are great. So we will keep trying, short of wear blindfolds, to cope with the overly-high sexual tone in our current society.

Women have "hormones" too..Have you heard the news?

I "agree" tacky sexual images are everywhere. I hate porn...and "strip clubs".and young girls should not be made to feel they have to advertise T and A to get attention from boys..They are more than that..much more..

But you act as if the po boys are "victims"..Women are sexual TOO...

Talk to Shulamite about it..she can explain it to you Im sure..

How powerful "male hormones are"...

My 18 year old who has never been on a "mission" and is exposed to the same images as your sons is a virgin himself..I taught him to respect women and himself..

I also gave him the green light on self pleasure..Im not about to have him get married just to get release making him believe he will lose his mind or go blind if he aknowledges he is sexual being and masturbates..

BLAH..

Blessings

Dallas
 

Hexaqua_David(II)

Active Member
UltraViolet--this isn't really your subject, so please excuse me as I use your post to segue off into my thought. Thanks.

As I've said many times here, I raised sons. Going through their teenage years wasn't easy. They each had a goal to serve as a missionary and be married in an LDS temple, which requires very high moral conduct. As a female, I never realized how powerful the male hormones are. I still don't fully grasp it. But when girls go out barely dressed, it is extremely difficult for the boys to keep their thoughts where they should be. So many times I wanted to go our high school and plead with the girls to cover up a little more. I once asked several of the teenage boys in our church, and they all said they liked looking (being honest), but would prefer the girls were more modest.

I understand that many of you don't share my beliefs, and see no need to restrict one's thoughts. But for some of us, it's so very important, and the blessings of attaining one's goals are great. So we will keep trying, short of wear blindfolds, to cope with the overly-high sexual tone in our current society.

That's all very well and good, but I can't help but feel that the boys you mention have been influenced greatly by the church and are afraid to think in a dirty way (which is totally natural and not harmful, by the way) because of the unnatural moral expectancies placed upon them at an early age. Or perhaps I'm just a sex-crazed maniac! =P I think this is what the OP was talking about...; making people feel bad or guilty about behaving and thinking in a truly human way, in a sexual way. When behaving like animals is when we are most alive!

Just incase I've taken this the wrong way, what did "high moral conduct" mean?

- David
 
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