What's wrong with saying God is all-caring, but God doesn't make these sorts of human pronouncements about how to treat your wife, and that these are the words and views of man who was a part of his culture of the time and it reflects his opinions as a man of that culture?
The reason I won't accept the "friendlier" interpretation of this is because it flies into the face of reason, and plus what I illustrated fits the "facts" of the role of cultural values entering into these "revelations", these words of God, so to speak. To say cultural artifacts do not exist in any religion's scriptures is intellectual suicide, and dangerous as well for that matter.
Nothing's wrong with it. But I'm trying to look at this in an Islamic way.