Alceste
Vagabond
No, it really isn't. If someone told you it is, I think you've been duped.
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When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
No, it really isn't. If someone told you it is, I think you've been duped.
Alceste
Vagabond
So basically they need a law in the UK for women who do.
They've already got one. They're prosecuting that turkey, I think.
A clarification. I think a man who cant (wont) stop having sex when being asked to stop by the other participant doesnt deserve it. The same would of course apply to women.Obviously you're not entirely familiar with how RF works. When someone (me, in this case) makes a post the includes a quote from a prior post (that of Kerr, in this case) it means the poster (me) is addressing the subject of the quoted material (Kerr's). Here, let me explain it as simply as I can:
Kerr made a post regarding a male's "deservability" of sexual intercourse. He didn't think that any man who couldn't stop himself from ejaculating into a woman's vagina deserved to have sex. In response, I said I found it interesting that "[he] feel a male has to earn the privilege of having sex with a woman, i. e., be deserving of it." Of course my reply wasn't a direct response to the thread's issue, but more of a side issue. Happens all the time here. Stick around; you'll see.
Well... I havent had sex for many years...
I believe there is a difference between an inconsiderate lover and a rapist.
An inconsiderate lover should be banished and sent away not sent to prison.
I'm not condoning these actions but trying to define where the line is drawn.
All this is a he said she said situation and doubt I will ever see a woman sent to prison for this.
An inconsiderate lover should be banished and sent away not sent to prison.
I'm not condoning these actions but trying to define where the line is drawn.
All this is a he said she said situation and doubt I will ever see a woman sent to prison for this.
We have to begin to see women as actively seeking sexual partners who have lust and desire, and not just who or what as desirable.
Once women are collectively seen throughout culture as equal, then yes, women can and should be sent to prison for raping another person.
Where is the line drawn? The line is drawn at consent. Period. A rapist forces himself or herself onto another person when there is no consent. There is no such thing as an inconsiderate lover once a person acts without clear consent. At that point, it's an assault.
I'd said before, there is an attempt to find loopholes, so that someone can be acting without his or her partners consent, and that the partner has or is clearly communicating "no" or "stop"....and we want to soften the boundary so that the word "rape" isn't so jarring and cruel. In the meantime, we're forgiving somebody who is forcing himself or herself onto another person, and ignoring the cruelty that is happening there.
I've been around, y'all. When somebody says "no" or "stop", it doesn't take a while. It barely takes a second. "No" or "Stop" ends what we are doing right away. There are no loopholes. There is no waiting for the other person to get the message. There is no having to get out of my own world to get the other person's message. It's at that moment. No matter how good it may feel to me or my partner, once it isn't within bounds of our time together, it stops immediately.
Again, and I'll keep saying it again and again and again. I've stopped immediately. My partners have stopped immediately except for when I was attacked. Never mattered how good things were feeling, the action stopped right away. Not only has it happened before, but different people with all different backgrounds and ages and genders have been able to stop immediately. It's simple and basic respect for the partner.
It can, does, and should happen.
Again. No, it is NOT pretty damned hard. It's easy to stop. It happens when partners actually give a damn about each other.
Everybody has a right to change their mind at any time. The commitment is not to attain orgasm or to maintain momentum. The commitment is to the connection between partners for whatever purpose the sex is for....for recreation, for fun, for exploration, for love, for making up after an argument, for any reason. Everyone has a basic right to change his or her mind at any time during the act of sex, and every partner should have the basic decency to honor and respect that.
Alceste
Vagabond
This is a sexual ethics issue. the pragmatic question of whether it could be proven to the satisfaction of a court isn't particularly relevant to the question of whether or not we should respect the boundaries of our sexual partners.
Draka
Wonder Woman
I'm sorry, but I just can't help but think that those who actually advocate or defend the position of someone continuing after being asked to stop have either actually continued themselves or wouldn't bother to stop if they were asked. I take that as a sign of selfishness and total lack of consideration for whoever their partner is. Sex should be enjoyable for both parties. Once it is no longer enjoyable for both parties it should be ended, period. Any other such act is an act against consent and therefore an act of assault/rape.
Alceste
Vagabond
Yeah, I feel the same way. The loophole seeking paints a really disturbing and depressing picture of what people might actually be doing in the bedroom.
All I know is that I'm making a secret list of who is going to be invited to my orgy based on this thread alone, and it seems there will be lots of girls.
Debater Slayer is one lucky man.
Draka
Wonder Woman
Yeah, I feel the same way. The loophole seeking paints a really disturbing and depressing picture of what people might actually be doing in the bedroom.
All I know is that I'm making a secret list of who is going to be invited to my orgy based on this thread alone, and it seems there will be lots of girls.
Ah yes, my minion is very wise. :yes:
Koldo
Outstanding Member
If i understood what he is saying, it is that people might take about 4 seconds to process a ''Stop!" request, and that the very next penetration after the ''Stop!'' shouldn't be considered rape because the other person hadn't enough time to comprehend and react.
Alceste
Vagabond
So what? Has anyone argued that taking a fraction of a hump to process and react to auditory information is rape?
No, nobody has. We've all repeatedly affirmed that the sexual assault occurs when you understand consent is withdrawn but choose to continue.
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
I'm unsure of what part of "NO" or "STOP" can be misunderstood here. Stop means stop, NOW, not "when you get around to it". Is this a difficult concept?
I'm unsure of what part of "NO" or "STOP" can be misunderstood here. Stop means stop, NOW, not "when you get around to it". Is this a difficult concept?
Apparently it is for some people.
You might have more luck nailing jello to a tree.
Draka
Wonder Woman
I'm unsure of what part of "NO" or "STOP" can be misunderstood here. Stop means stop, NOW, not "when you get around to it". Is this a difficult concept?
And with that, I think you may have made Alceste's invitation list.
OK, now we are getting somewhere. So how do you prove exactly when a person has understood withdrawn consent and if they crossed a line or not?
This is nothing but one person sending the other to prison on a whim and an accusation.
And who exactly has disagreed with you here? Everyone has said if you continue against the other person's will it is rape.
No, it is not. That's a paranoid assumption that is not unlike claims of out-of-control false-rape accusations.
Mystic, how does one convict a rapist on a he said she said basis?
There are no witnesses.
There is no physical evidence.
There was concent.
I know it is wrong and I agree it is rape, but I don't know how a person can send someone to prison with nothing but a person saying they should go.
There are no witnesses.
There is no physical evidence.
There was concent.
I know it is wrong and I agree it is rape, but I don't know how a person can send someone to prison with nothing but a person saying they should go.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Or just completely out of touch with their bodies and/or stupid.
Seriously, I've never had sex with a man who wasn't capable of pulling out when the time came to pull out. Physically, there wouldn't be anything to keep me engaged in intercourse if someone said "stop", unless I made a choice to ignore and keep going. I doubt that this work as, it wouldn't take much for me to be overpowered.
If EITHER partner says stop at anytime, intercourse needs to stop, immediately.
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