Seems like you are the first person to post a serious comment on this thread in a few days. I hope it doesn't get lost in the idiocy, because the issues underlying the expectations on women's appearance are more than trivial, and tell us a lot about the dysfunction of modern culture.
From what you're saying, it seems to me that you want to be able to dress up/or dress down to whatever level you are comfortable with at the time. That doesn't seem like to much to ask, but there seems to be an ongoing war between marketers putting demands on young women...very young in many cases...to look as sexy and alluring as possible/ vs. the conservatives...mostly men who get turned on/and then become angry and conflicted by their arousal, and want women covered up in public.....and you are the target in the crossfire, as you will get dumped on for not looking sexy/and looking too sexy. So, you have to try to do what pleases you and push back critics form both sides, telling you how to dress, and how you should look when you go out.
I'm used to being stuck in the middle.
I think if you're not ******* off someone, you need to reevaluate why you're doing what you're doing -- not because it's a good thing to brass people off, but because people tend to eventually fall into inertia in our own lives, taking the path of least resistance because we don't have time or we're tired, or it's just not that important that day. The right thing to do will often pull condemnation from a quarter, even if it is the right thing to do for
you.
I really see what you mean about sex vs. conservative. My first private school it was ankle length skirts and loose blouses, my second school? We were allowed to wear pants, but I got sent home several times because my blouses showed off too much cleavage (If you can find a juniors blouse that will accommodate a size F bust and not show any cleavage, you're a miracle worker.)
The lectures about propriety and modesty made me hate my body. Being a big-chested girl from a young age, and with control issues to start with, all the "SEXY IS BAD" messages I got day in and day out honestly made me hate my body, that my body was somehow my enemy, and made me feel bad and sinful for secretly loving all the pretty things I saw in magazines. To this day I have a pang of something when I wear a knee-length skirt.
Of course, people completely opposed to the idea of sin could be just as bad.
One friend of mine who went to Bryn Mawr went on for two hours about how wearing lip gloss and blush was "giving in to sexist ideas."
If people think you're wearing a corset, it's like your body suddenly belongs to them. They'll start poking your pinching you to figure out if you're wearing one, while trying to "educate" you on what they think they know.
Wear jeans and Doc Martens and suddenly you're dressing like a lesbian.
Wear a men's suit and you're a frigid...brat.
Wear a women's suit and you're just looking for a job as a secretary to catch your own Don Draper, and how desperate you are is directly inverse to the length of the skirt.
Q: Why women do efforts to look sexy, as some of them are already very sexy
maybe they're not trying to be sexy, maybe they just like it, or maybe they've been told that they are not sexy, or can never be attractive.