Would you date someone black/African?

[Desert Snake]

You know I thought so when I met some of the people there and I loved the music. My grandmother's church was very boring. Nothing but simple hymns without much rhythm or feeling. I may not be religious but I did get goosebumps when it was time for the choir to sing and the preachers to speak. They were very vocal and loud. I guess you could say it was a cultural experience much alien to the one I was raised by.

lol! Do you mean southern baptist?

 

[Rakhel]

I never lived in a trailer park however the term seems degrading.

It's about as degrading as "white trash" or "cracker" or "n******"

 

[Desert Snake]

It's about as degrading as "white trash" or "cracker" or "n******"

Yep.

 

[MissAlice]

lol! Do you mean southern baptist?

I don't remember the name of the particular denomination but yes, it was southern but more racially integrated than the churches I was use to. Not everyone was of color. It was very mixed and the people there were very friendly.

 

[Desert Snake]

I don't remember the name of the particular denomination but yes, it was southern but more racially integrated than the churches I was use to. Not everyone was of color. It was very mixed and the people there were very friendly.

Oh O.K. so the church you went to before was less integrated. Do you mean that the churches you had attended before were all color?

 

[MissAlice]

Oh O.K. so the church you went to before was less integrated. Do you mean that the churches you had attended before were all color?

No. Most of them were not of color. Sorry I didn't word myself well. It seems the churches I've been to are either prevalently white or black but my bf's church seem more heavily integrated.

 

[Desert Snake]

No. Most of them were not of color. Sorry I didn't word myself well. It seems the churches I've been to are either prevalently white or black but my bf's church seem more heavily integrated.

Ah, got it, that's what I assumed you meant. Yes, that could be somewhat of a different experience.

[edit] I've never attended a southern baptist church.]

 

[Rakhel]

what you see in a southern baptist church may vary depending on the race as well. The southern baptist I went to once was predominately white, and had no...soul, for lack of a better word. The black southern baptist church around the corner(which I did not attend) had events going on like crazy. Every year, there was a festival that drove the dogs on our street nuts and me batty. All the kids on the ATVs. I couldn't watch. One year an ambulance had to be called because some 5 yr old had fallen off the back of one of the many ATVs driving down my street. And the kids were so rude, which I know had nothing to do with the church itself but with the kids, but still.

 

[Desert Snake]

what you see in a southern baptist church may vary depending on the race as well. The southern baptist I went to once was predominately white, and had no...soul, for lack of a better word. The black southern baptist church around the corner(which I did not attend) had events going on like crazy. Every year, there was a festival that drove the dogs on our street nuts and me batty. All the kids on the ATVs. I couldn't watch. One year an ambulance had to be called because some 5 yr old had fallen off the back of one of the many ATVs driving down my street. And the kids were so rude, which I know had nothing to do with the church itself but with the kids, but still.

Honestly, I didn't even realize there were different "styles" of southern baptist churches.

 

[Rakhel]

Oh sure. At least within the Mississippi Southern Baptist. White churches are prim and proper. Help no one but yourself.
Black churches have Christian music blaring and festivals, picnics and the like. You would have been more likely to get help from the black churches in that town than you would the white ones. I don't know why. It doesn't make any sense to me. Never did

But, I do have to say this was just in the town I lived in. It may be different else where

 

[Kathryn]

While my mother taught me to never hate a person based on the color of their skin, she did teach me that it was in my best interest not to date a black man. (I have mentioned this in another thread, btw) She told me that she was more afraid of the hatred and discrimination that would be directed toward my children than anything. So up to now I would say no I would not.

Well, if that's all that's holding you back, I'd say you can check that one at the door.

My four biracial kids are doing very well in the world. They would be the first to tell you that they love the color of their skin and their family background. From what I can tell, being biracial hasn't been a hindrance to them - they've dated and married whoever they want, they haven't experienced discrimination on the job, and they certainly don't seem at all self conscious about their genes or looks. Probably because they are each so good looking!

My kids were all born in the 1980s, and grew up mostly in the American south. I can count the negative, racist encounters we had on one hand. I'm not saying that people don't privately have their own negative opinions, but my rule of thumb was always "Treat my kids and me with respect and we won't have a problem" and that always worked. We weren't discriminated against when it came to housing, jobs, etc. People are welcome to their own private opinions of course, but as long as they treated my kids well, that was all that mattered to me.

Now I have seven grandchildren, all of whom are of course of "mixed racial heritage." They're beautiful, and I am honestly not even sure they KNOW they are multiracial. They certainly don't seem to even notice that their parents are of different skin tones. (The oldest ones range from 9 to 5 years old so if this was an issue, it seems it would have come up by now.)

Not saying this is the case when it comes to you and your mom, but I think some people use the concept of "But what about the kids???" as uninformed fear mongering based in racism that they may not even be aware they have. I mean, it sounds more noble when they express this as "concern for the children."

I want to set their minds at ease. The kids will be fine.

 

[Rakhel]

Yeah I know. But that wasn't really all that was holding me back. I just didn't like any of the black guys I went to school with. They were all jerks and felt deserving, if you know what I mean. Like they could do no wrong and could get what ever they wanted and get away with anything because they were black. A big turn off.
After moving, I met some really good guys and girls, who just happened to be black.(I even got hit-on by a few black girls. Never the guys. Just the girls.) But I still wasn't interested.
Still here in New York, surrounded by Caribbeans, Africans, and black Americans, I can find them sexy and attractive and on the occasion think, "Hey I wouldn't turn her away." One young woman was walking around in a traditional African dress, and I told her she was beautiful. But I am still not interested enough to "jump their bones."

I can say the same about Asians, Indians, Europeans, Arabs, Native Americans. I find them beautiful, attractive and **** worthy, but that doesn't mean I am interested in dating them.

As I have said. It is not the color. It is the attitude of the person alone that attracts me.

Hell, I'll be honest for a moment. How many would date a person, sight unseen? Talk to the person for months if not years, without seeing them. Not knowing what they look like, what color their skin was or how fat they were? And once, seeing this, how many of you would stay with that person?

I could say I might have dated Vendetta had I not been married. I liked his attitude towards people and how he felt family and women should be treated. And I know what color his skin is.

So, no, it is not my mother's teachings that have always held me back from dating a black man. It has always been his attitude that has held me back from dating him.

 

[Klaufi_Wodensson]

People probably won't like my answer, but no, I wouldn't date someone who is Black/African. I'm just not attracted to them. It's like me being attracted to women in general. I can't really explain why I'm attracted to women, and I can't explain why I'm not attracted to people of African descent.

 

[Kathryn]

Never say never.

 

[Acim]

Considering Halle Berry is most beautiful woman on this planet (or for sure top 5)...

And that she is constantly hitting on me, begging me to go out with her, desperately wanting me to reconstruct some scene from "Monster's Ball" with her, which I don't even know what that means...

Considering all this, I may have to open myself up to dating someone African American.

Again.

For like my 10th time.

 

[Kathryn]

Halle Berry makes me want to rethink my sexuality.

 

[Rakhel]

Halle Berry is too skinny. Maybe Tyra Banks

 

[Acim]

Sometimes when tough choices come about, I like to choose both.

Tyra, Acim, and Halle

Like one delicious oreo cookie

That I never want to break open

except to go pee

and maybe eat

like twice a week

at most

lots of protein shakes

 

[Draka]

Halle Berry makes me want to rethink my sexuality.

Ditto. I can be into women, if just for one night...only for her.

 

[blackout]

I think cultural differences (in general)
are what often cause problems in relationships.

Race in and of itself?
It would only be a matter of physical attraction.

I would never get involved with anyone outside my own culture again.
:no:
There are those of different races however,
that do share my culture.