-
Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Access to private conversations with other members.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!
I am a good man, so why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I need to be a jerk instead?
- Thread starter Ruadri Canmore
- Start date
Reptillian
Hamburgler Extraordinaire
I know if I were a girl, I'd look for a boyfriend who was physically taller than me, dark skinned, muscular, and had some sort of sexy accent...maybe Carribean or French. He'd have to be smart, funny, or at the very least capable of carrying on an interesting conversation. Of course my large breasts and perfect figure would bedazzle him, but he'd act as if my beauty didn't overshadow his love of my personality. He'd be confident and courageous, yet vulnerable at times and not afraid to reveal his true feelings.
Alceste
Vagabond
Boy, you must be the god of the old testament in the dating world.
That's just a partial list of "things I am attracted to". You don't need to have ALL of them. My fiance doesn't have a mop of black hair + a scarf, but he's funny and smart enough to make up for it.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
jasonwill2
Well-Known Member
Just tell the girl to shut up and get on her knees.
It has a 50/50 chance of either getting you a sexual harassment lawsuit or getting laid, but that is A LOT of sex if you do it to every girl you meet.
It has a 50/50 chance of either getting you a sexual harassment lawsuit or getting laid, but that is A LOT of sex if you do it to every girl you meet.
PolyHedral
Superabacus Mystic
This does require a crack team of lawyers, however.
Or getting a swift kick in the groin.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Wow.
For women (note - not GIRLS) there is a HUGE difference between a guy they may consider "eye candy" and someone they may consider as an actual mate.
You are a man, so I'm not holding this against you at all, but do you realize that you started your wish list off (as a pretend woman) with PHYSICAL characteristics? Do you also realize that most women don't start their list of traits they'd like in a mate that way?
jasonwill2
Well-Known Member
This does require a crack team of lawyers, however.
I was obviously joking, of course that wouldn't work in 98% of cases.
I really don't believe that men start with physical traits and that women start with personality traits, that is all stereo-types. I've found that women are MUCH more preoccupied with physical attraction than I am, and I AM a man.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Less jabbering, more beer getting.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
What you're calling a stereotype, I'm calling a GENERALITY.
I just gave you an example of a real life guy - with absolutely no prompting - starting right off with physical traits rather than personality traits.
jasonwill2
Well-Known Member
My expereince has always been that the majority of women care about looks more than me, which leads me to conclude that they just dont realize how important looks are to them
men and women are not that different in thougths and behavior as many of us are lead to believe
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Jason, no offense, but you are 20 years old. May I suggest that you have a LOT to learn about women? Unless you regularly date females much older than you, you're probably basing your opinions on relationships with young girls.
There is a BIG difference.
I honestly don't mean this in an offensive way - there is absolutely nothing inferior about being 20 and dating people in your age range. But generally speaking, most 20 year old females are more girl than woman.
That being said, looks ARE important to an extent, even to women. But women tend to be less focused on physical ideals and more focused on mates who do the best with what they've got, and pay close attention to cleanliness and health.
I have physical preferences in guys. Chemistry and attraction are important. Looks can be what makes a person notice someone, but after that, they've got to have the right personality.
The things I find attractive aren't all that difficult, though. Most of it is a physical demonstration of mental characteristics.
-Good hygiene, clean body and clothes, nice smile, etc.
-The guys I've been attracted to are taller than me, but most guys are taller than me. I've met rather few men that are not taller than me. I could probably be attracted to a man shorter than me, but since I've met a small number of them, it hasn't happened.
-In good physical shape. Not big muscles necessarily, but just quite in shape via good cardio and good muscle tone, due to an overall active lifestyle. It's attractive, it's healthy, and it means they can do things like run with me, go biking, spar, play tennis, etc.
I've never dated anyone that I felt was a jerk, at all. They've been nicer, more sensitive people than me, which isn't saying much I suppose. But the point is, he's the nice one out of the two of us. I view various forms of jerkiness, nastiness, rudeness, lack of empathy, as very unattractive.
The things I find attractive aren't all that difficult, though. Most of it is a physical demonstration of mental characteristics.
-Good hygiene, clean body and clothes, nice smile, etc.
-The guys I've been attracted to are taller than me, but most guys are taller than me. I've met rather few men that are not taller than me. I could probably be attracted to a man shorter than me, but since I've met a small number of them, it hasn't happened.
-In good physical shape. Not big muscles necessarily, but just quite in shape via good cardio and good muscle tone, due to an overall active lifestyle. It's attractive, it's healthy, and it means they can do things like run with me, go biking, spar, play tennis, etc.
I've never dated anyone that I felt was a jerk, at all. They've been nicer, more sensitive people than me, which isn't saying much I suppose. But the point is, he's the nice one out of the two of us. I view various forms of jerkiness, nastiness, rudeness, lack of empathy, as very unattractive.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I used to have physical preferences, but over time my perceived preferences were generally chucked out the window one by one as I met and was attracted to and dated men of various ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, etc.
I guess I could go really broad and say "I prefer healthy men who aren't obese and who don't have rotten teeth" but that's honestly about my limit. Oh, one more thing - I do prefer men to be taller than me and since I'm 5'8" that has been an issue once or twice. It didn't stop me, but for some reason those relationships never really took off so I never had to deal with the issue long term.
I thought I only liked white guys, till I met and married a black guy. Then I thought I might really prefer black guys, till I divorced him and realized that no, I still liked all sorts of men.
I did think I preferred guys with dark hair and eyes - till I met and married my current husband, who is a blonde with blue eyes. But I threw him for a loop too - I'm the first tall woman with short hair that he had EVER seriously dated, let alone married. Prior to me, he had been attracted to petite, rather skinny women with long hair - who knew how to line dance (a concept that is TOTALLY foreign to me!).
It was hilarious really. On about our fourth date - when we knew that we really were in the grips of an undeniable fixation with each other - my daughter called me and I told her, "Guess what. I'm sitting in a pickup truck, listening to George Strait. We just left Cavenders, where my date bought two pairs of cowboy boots. We're on our way to eat BBQ. Then we're going to watch the Cowboys game." There was a very long silence on the other end of the phone and then my daughter said in a hushed tone, completely seriously - "Mom. Are you SURE you want to do this?"
Oh, yeah, baby. I was never more sure of anything.
Meeting and dating and then marrying my husband - a man who was COMPLETELY different from any other type I'd ever been attracted to - at age 42 really showed me that time and maturity and life experiences can greatly alter your concepts of attractiveness and desirability.
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
-Peacemaker-
.45 Cal
This really is a good observation. In my experience, the majority of girls would go after the confident jerk over the sissy nice guy. However, those sissy boys need not worry because there is always a girl looking for the kind of guy that won't be able to stop her from wearing the pants in the relationship. I'd argue however that there are more sissy boys out there than women looking for a partner they can dominate so the sissies better get out and start struttin' hehehe........