Getting into relationships is the easiest thing on earth, Koldo. Making them worthwhile is a bit more difficult even than making them last a long time.
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I am a good man, so why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I need to be a jerk instead?
- Thread starter Ruadri Canmore
- Start date
Getting into relationships is the easiest thing on earth, Koldo. Making them worthwhile is a bit more difficult even than making them last a long time.
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
Like I said much earlier in the thread.... and the subject of the OP by the way...
Getting the first date is nothing, it's the second and beyond that matter.
The OP asked about getting a woman to not just date but to stick around after the first date. Thus, your experience in accomplishing the full task is quite relevant.
You don't want to take advice from just anyone.
wa:do
Shermana
Heretic
Define a worthwhile relationship and a non-worthwhile one in scientific terms.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Apparently not to the OP. You should give him some tips on how to do it.
I agree.
Alceste
Vagabond
Not where I live.
Here's my hypothesis: I believe this opinion comes from tying oneself in knots trying to figure out how to "get" a woman, only to see her go off with someone else despite your best efforts. That stings! It's only natural to project your feelings of sexual inadequacy onto your more fortunate sexual competitor - it's not that he's more attractive than you are, to her, it has to be that he's a BAD PERSON and women like BAD PEOPLE. It's a neat and tidy little diversion of the pain of rejection.
The female equivalent of this neurosis is that men prefer crazy, superficial B****** with surgically enhanced boobs and fake blonde hair. For some women, it will never matter how many men tell her that's not what they're into - they can only cope with the pain of rejection by attributing it to some grave character flaw shared by everyone of the opposite gender.
Here's my honest opinion: Lots of men are jerks. Lots of women are crazy B******. Most people, short of some terrible physical affliction that presents a major obstacle, have sex. I haven't seen any evidence that the jerks and crazy B****** are having any more sex than anybody else, although it may be true that they have more sexual partners over their lives, on account of being poorly equipped to sustain a healthy pair bond for a long period of time.
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
You won't mind if I'm not fully convinced.
Most guys claim they can get in a relationship whenever they want to... they just don't want to. Like the smoker who claims they can quit anytime... they just don't want to. It's very soothing to the ego.
wa:do
Shermana
Heretic
I don't think there are any confident jerks online right now on religiousforums.com, so i suspect it is.
Only on certain weekends..
This thread has degraded into a nightmare of "How to pick up chicks".
What was the question of the OP again? Wasn't it asking about acting like a jerk or not to get a girlfriend?
What was the question of the OP again? Wasn't it asking about acting like a jerk or not to get a girlfriend?
Shermana
Heretic
Free free to remain unconvinced, as if there's any way I can show you short of demonstrating in person.
You seem to have a problem with small talk. You're not actually taking this thread seriously are you?
Shermana
Heretic
How are those two concepts not related?
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
Again, anyone can "pick up a chick".... getting into a long term relationship is a very different thing.
wa:do
Ah, a voice of reason. Thank you! :bow:
Alceste
Vagabond
No, I'm not agreeing with you. I haven't accepted your proposition that women prefer jerks. I know a LOT of women, from all over the world. Women talk about men and sex all the time, pretty much whenever we get the chance. I've never ONCE, in all these hundreds of conversations, heard any woman state or even imply that she prefers "jerks" to "nice" guys.
Wouldn't you say that your impression of what it takes to be a "jerk" might be entirely subjective, and consequently unreliable? What is it about all these men who are getting more women than you are that makes them bigger "jerks" than you?
Shermana
Heretic
Again, we're not talking about "jerks" and "nice guys" as in the actual uses of the term, those are terms of convenience.
As for your next question, I think we've addressed this earlier, especially when I said "Women decide what works for them, see what works, and do it better than the competition does it", the guys who get all the women are the ones who are doing "what works". I said it quite often has to do with physical looks. I don't see anything wrong with what I said. What I see here is some denial of the facts on the ground which feeds all of our experience and perceptions. If you don't like the fact that the majority of women go for shallow good looking guys who are confident in themselves, take it up with the women, not the men who perceive it and act on it by trying to do "What works" and winning at it. We're not defending the nice guys either. We're not condemning the female actions. We're just saying what happens. It seems the truth of the majority strikes a nerve with some.....
Would I even have friends with benefits if I was doing something wrong? Why do you think we're bad for simply pointing out that there is in fact a "formula" that works in most observed cases? If you're the exception to the rule, great.
In all of MY hundreds of conversations, I've not heard anything that differs from what I'm saying.
As for your next question, I think we've addressed this earlier, especially when I said "Women decide what works for them, see what works, and do it better than the competition does it", the guys who get all the women are the ones who are doing "what works". I said it quite often has to do with physical looks. I don't see anything wrong with what I said. What I see here is some denial of the facts on the ground which feeds all of our experience and perceptions. If you don't like the fact that the majority of women go for shallow good looking guys who are confident in themselves, take it up with the women, not the men who perceive it and act on it by trying to do "What works" and winning at it. We're not defending the nice guys either. We're not condemning the female actions. We're just saying what happens. It seems the truth of the majority strikes a nerve with some.....
Would I even have friends with benefits if I was doing something wrong? Why do you think we're bad for simply pointing out that there is in fact a "formula" that works in most observed cases? If you're the exception to the rule, great.
In all of MY hundreds of conversations, I've not heard anything that differs from what I'm saying.
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And getting into a long term relationship that is worth the effort, like yours, is even more impressive, Wolfie.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
The OP was talking about being unable to get even the first date. He just mentioned 1 exception.
There are a lot of different men and women out there. People who haven't been into several first dates with different people and managed to estabilish a relationship in several cases are unlikely to be able to give useful advices.
There are some people out there who have only had 1 partner for their entire lives. They only lived through the first moments of a new relationship once, and it just happened to work out. Just because it worked in 1 case it doesn't mean it is going to work again. If you want tips on this step of relationships, you better off talking to someone that has been into it for several times. This kind of person has a LOT of experience on how to do it, and may actually give useful advice.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
I imagine that it is based on cultural attitudes. U.S. society in general can be shallow lemmings.
Sure, but I hope you're not implying that's where I'm coming from? There have been girls I've known from my past, such as an ex-roommate for example, who did prefer the "bad boy" (picking up biker types and gangsta thug types from seedy bars), she had been raped on more than one occasion, and being in one abusive relationship after another, yet always found herself pursuing the same sort of guys and ending up in the same sort of situations. Of course, this doesn't represent the average female, but it isn't uncommon, either.
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Okay. I guess the easiest way to nab a man for any reason is to act stupid, stuff your bra, ***** him out all night, and spend all his money.
Do you not see how ridiculous this is?