I am a good man, so why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I need to be a jerk instead?

[Sunstone]

Sure, but I hope you're not implying that's where I'm coming from? There have been girls I've known from my past, such as an ex-roommate for example, who did prefer the "bad boy" (picking up biker types and gangsta thug types from seedy bars), she had been raped on more than one occasion, and being in one abusive relationship after another, yet always found herself pursuing the same sort of guys and ending up in the same sort situations. Of course, this doesn't represent the average female, but it isn't uncommon, either.

I agree, Father Heathen. It's not uncommon, but it's not typical either. Most people have a learning curve that is not quite as flat as Kansas.

 

[Alceste]

Again, anyone can "pick up a chick".... getting into a long term relationship is a very different thing.

wa:do

I know a guy - really gross inside and out - who used to ask every single woman at parties he went to, point blank, if they would have sex with him. He just picked them off one by one - greeting, a bit of small talk, then "So, do you want to have sex?" If not, on to the next woman. He would get rejected dozens of times a night.

OTOH, he got laid pretty often using this strategy. Does that mean the women he slept with "liked" him? I suspect not, since I never heard of anybody coming back for more.

 

[Sunstone]

Okay. I guess the easiest way to nab a man for any reason is to act stupid, stuff your bra, ***** him out all night, and spend all his money.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Now you're talking my style!

Do you not see how ridiculous this is?

Oooops! I take that back.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I imagine that it is based on cultural attitudes. U.S. society in general can be shallow lemmings.



Sure, but I hope you're not implying that's where I'm coming from? There have been girls I've known from my past, such as an ex-roommate for example, who did prefer the "bad boy" (picking up biker types and gangsta thug types from seedy bars), she had been raped on more than one occasion, and being in one abusive relationship after another, yet always found herself pursuing the same sort of guys and ending up in the same sort situations. Of course, this doesn't represent the average female, but it isn't uncommon, either.

I have friends where their husbands either left them or had cheated on them with a younger woman with big boobs. Is it reasonable to conclude men generally only go for the young blond voluptuous woman?

 

[Shermana]

I know a guy - really gross inside and out - who used to ask every single woman at parties he went to, point blank, if they would have sex with him. He just picked them off one by one - greeting, a bit of small talk, then "So, do you want to have sex?" If not, on to the next woman. He would get rejected dozens of times a night.

OTOH, he got laid pretty often using this strategy. Does that mean the women he slept with "liked" him? I suspect not, since I never heard of anybody coming back for more.

Once the man gets what he wants, he has won, whether they like him or not. Why would we try to get them into a relationship if they're willing to go with some guy who can get them like that?

 

[Shermana]

I have friends where their husbands either left them or had cheated on them with a younger woman with big boobs. Is it reasonable to conclude men generally only go for the young blond voluptuous woman?

It's reasonable to conclude that they will often go, but not only.

 

[Me Myself]

I have friends where their husbands either left them or had cheated on them with a younger woman with big boobs. Is it reasonable to conclude men generally only go for the young blond voluptuous woman?

I can definetely tell you at least here most men do prefer the young voluptuose blond woman o.o

Was that even a queston?

No, obviously not all. I personally prefer any hair color with remarkably few exceptions (Jeniffer Finnigan :drool: )

Besides that though, blond voluptuose young will definetely attract more men. Those who dont try with it, most of them think they dont have a chance.

 

[Penumbra]

Once the man gets what he wants, he has won, whether they like him or not. Why would we try to get them into a relationship if they're willing to go with some guy who can get them like that?

He's winning.

[youtube]pipTwjwrQYQ[/youtube]
CHARLIE SHEEN - WINNING - YouTube

 

[Shermana]

Okay. I guess the easiest way to nab a man for any reason is to act stupid, stuff your bra, ***** him out all night, and spend all his money.

Do you not see how ridiculous this is?

Well if you **** him all night, you've already nabbed him. Are you talking about relationships? Actually, that's quite a bad move to make. The best way to get a man relationship wise is to not put out at all. If the guy doesn't want to be with you because he can't get the milk for free, you've saved yourself a lot of heartache. Spending all his money only comes AFTER you have a relationship. Stuffing your bra may work only until the bra comes off, and many perceptive guys can see that and see it as a sign of an easier target.

The analogy itself is ridiculous. Men have to work very, very hard to get women in many cases, even for so-called "Confident jerks" unless they're born into a trust fund and have natural good looks which makes their job 100x easier. Women just have to stand there to get hit on and be of reasonable attractiveness. That's called nature at work.

 

[Sunstone]

Once the man gets what he wants, he has won, whether they like him or not. Why would we try to get them into a relationship if they're willing to go with some guy who can get them like that?

Why try to get them in a relationship? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because there's more to life than sex? Maybe because they're decent companions? Naw, you're right. It's all about wining -- and wining is measured by how many chicks you lay. Got it.

 

[Father Heathen]

I have friends where their husbands either left them or had cheated on them with a younger woman with big boobs. Is it reasonable to conclude men generally only go for the young blond voluptuous woman?

Oh, Jesus...

Did I say women generally only for the "bad boy"? No. No, I did not.

 

[Shermana]

He's winning.

[youtube]pipTwjwrQYQ[/youtube]
CHARLIE SHEEN - WINNING - YouTube

Thank you Charlie, you've proven us right once again.

 

[Sunstone]

Everyone's dancing around the truth here, but no one's saying it. Women just want a big penis. That's all they want. There, I said it.

 

[Shermana]

Why try to get them in a relationship? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because there's more to life than sex? Maybe because they're decent companions? Naw, you're right. It's all about wining -- and wining is measured by how many chicks you lay. Got it.

Looks like you completely missed the context of my quote.

I said why would we want those particular girls who sleep with the guy at the party in the relationship?

Looks like you're taking my small talk pretty seriously.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Oh, Jesus...

Did I say women generally only for the "bad boy"? No. No, I did not.

What was your point, then?

 

[Alceste]

I imagine that it is based on cultural attitudes. U.S. society in general can be shallow lemmings.



Sure, but I hope you're not implying that's where I'm coming from? There have been girls I've known from my past, such as an ex-roommate for example, who did prefer the "bad boy" (picking up biker types and gangsta thug types from seedy bars), she had been raped on more than one occasion, and being in one abusive relationship after another, yet always found herself pursuing the same sort of guys and ending up in the same sort of situations. Of course, this doesn't represent the average female, but it isn't uncommon, either.

Likewise, I have known many men who only fall for psycho women. My closest male friend is pretty screwed up himself, and not much of a prize. He's moody and self-absorbed, and often will say the most hurtful thing he can possibly think of to the people who care about him the most. Does it surprise you that damaged people seek each other out?

When I was young and more screwed up, I was attracted to people who were as screwed up as I was. I felt extremely uncomfortable around people who had had an easy childhood - I related best to other people who had eccentric, mentally ill or abusive parents.

I haven't lived any place where women are shallow in the sense of preferring men who treat them badly, and I've lived in every major city in Canada, as well as parts of Ireland and the UK. I've traveled in Australia, Guatemala, Europe, and the US. So far the only place I'm aware of where a significant minority of women prefer to be treated poorly is television.

 

[painted wolf]

The OP was talking about being unable to get even the first date. He just mentioned 1 exception.

Yes, but his stated goal wasn't just one date... but a relationship.

Getting him one date is the easy part.

There are a lot of different men and women out there. People who haven't been into several first dates with different people and managed to estabilish a relationship in several cases are unlikely to be able to give useful advices.

There are some people out there who have only had 1 partner for their entire lives. They only lived through the first moments of a new relationship once, and it just happened to work out. Just because it worked in 1 case it doesn't mean it is going to work again. If you want tips on this step of relationships, you better off talking to someone that has been into it for several times. This kind of person has a LOT of experience on how to do it, and may actually give useful advice.

It's sweet of you to think I'm young enough to have only been in one relationship.

As a rebuttal.... what is better advice on one successful relationship or from someone who has had several unsuccessful ones? If the person who has been "into it several times" why would you think they know anything about "successful". Unless you plan to not do whatever it is they are doing.

wa:do

 

[Sunstone]

Looks like you're taking my small talk pretty seriously.

That'll be the day!

 

[Father Heathen]

What was your point, then?

Just that there a lot out there who fit the cliche. They don't represent women in general, but they're not nonexistent, either.

 

[Alceste]

Once the man gets what he wants, he has won, whether they like him or not. Why would we try to get them into a relationship if they're willing to go with some guy who can get them like that?

He was in his late forties and had never been in a relationship. He had the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old boy. He repulsed everybody who knew him, both women and men. He was obsessed with comparing the number of women he had bedded to the number of women other men had bedded. He was, quite possibly, the most miserable, insecure, self-hating, pathetic heap of human flesh I've ever known.

You can call that "winning" if you like, but not very many of us are playing whatever his game is supposed to be.