I am a good man, so why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I need to be a jerk instead?

[Kathryn]

The big 'lol' was the best.

 

[Penumbra]

This was fun and all but I'm out.

Hopefully if the OP reads through this, he'll know which opinions to take into account, and which ones to discard.

The thread included a diverse but pretty consistent set of female opinions of various ages. Males posted as well, but hopefully the opinions of the men are listened to over the boys.

 

[Shermana]

Hey, you - I gave you frubals just a few minutes ago. Chill out.

My bad, I didn't notice.

Carry on.

 

[Kathryn]

Now now, you meant that personally at me by the specific examples I used. It's okay to be honest and admit that you were trying to use me as your personal example by saying I feel "Threatened and jealous".

So for the record, yes, I unabashedly admit that I am exceedingly jealous of a rich player's ability to have a harem of lovely willing ladies without nearly the effort the rest of us would put in, and I guess I do feel threatened by them in the same way I'd feel that an extremely tall guy on the other basketball team would threaten our team's chances.

Actually no, I wasn't speaking to YOU specifically - sorry for that miscommunication. I meant my comments for all of you young men who obviously do not understand women very well.

Please take notes. Thank me later.

 

[Shermana]

This was fun and all but I'm out.

Hopefully if the OP reads through this, he'll know which opinions to take into account, and which ones to discard.

The thread included a diverse but pretty consistent set of female opinions of various ages. Males posted as well, but hopefully the opinions of the men are listened to over the boys.

Define "men" in this context.

 

[Kathryn]

My bad, I didn't notice.

Carry on.

Seriously - I am trying to help!

 

[Wannabe Yogi]

The analogy itself is ridiculous. Men have to work very, very hard to get women in many cases, even for so-called "Confident jerks" unless they're born into a trust fund and have natural good looks which makes their job 100x easier. Women just have to stand there to get hit on and be of reasonable attractiveness. That's called nature at work.

You are thinking is flawed, lets reframe. How is it work meeting people unless it's about tricking someone into liking you? It should be fun meeting, dating whatever you are doing. Become a great person then others will want to spend time with you. There is a high school boy that I know. His bones don't grow correctly so the doctors have to break his legs and spread the bones out to grow. It is extremely painful and his legs are way to short. This kid is so brave and strong I have seen girls pay attention to him. He has much to offer beyond his shorter then normal legs.

 

[Koldo]

I think I may have already addressed that issue.

I don't. But anyway....

How does one have "many" successful relationships? Serial widower perhaps?
If you have lots of successful relationships that you are dumping... then you aren't having successful relationships.

Sounds like that person either has commitment issues or isn't communicating goals with their partner. If you feel you have to "dump" a relationship, it wasn't a success.

wa:do

You are using your own definition for 'sucessful'.
Sucessful means achieving one's goals.
If what was desired was achieved then it was sucessful.
It startles me you would see this in either white or black, either one has a relationship that lasts for the rest of his/her life or one hasn't been into a sucessful relationship at all.

 

[Shermana]

You are thinking is flawed, lets reframe. How is it work meeting people unless it's about tricking someone into liking you?

How are you able to meet them? Did you take the bus? Did you wear sackcloth? A barrell? How's your cologne? What do you have to offer? Did you get it for free? Did your muscles develop out of nowhere?

It should be fun meeting, dating whatever you are doing.

The meeting part is the fun part indeed. How did you get there in the first place?

Bhecome a great person then others will want to spend time wit you.

What do you think it means to "become a great person"? Do you think there's no work involved in overcoming your personality flaws?

There is a high school boy that I know. His bones don't grow correctly so the doctors have to break his legs and spread the bones out to grow. It is extremely painful and his legs are way to short. This kid is so brave and strong I have seen girls pay attention to him

There was a guy in a wheelchair at my school who had lots of ladies to pay attention to him. Now please define "pay attention to him", do you mean sexually have interest or just talk to him and be nice to him?

. He has much to offer beyond his shorter then normal legs.

I'm not saying he doesn't. I've seen disabled guys get pretty girls before. In more than one case he happened to be well off. This one trainer at my local LA fitness has disabled legs, but with his upper half he could rip most bodybuilders in two, and he gets lots of gym ladies to more than just pay attention. They nonetheless still have something that exists within the "Formula".

 

[Koldo]

You are thinking is flawed, lets reframe. How is it work meeting people unless it's about tricking someone into liking you? It should be fun meeting, dating whatever you are doing. Become a great person then others will want to spend time with you. There is a high school boy that I know. His bones don't grow correctly so the doctors have to break his legs and spread the bones out to grow. It is extremely painful and his legs are way to short. This kid is so brave and strong I have seen girls pay attention to him. He has much to offer beyond his shorter then normal legs.

Hmm...you don't really have to become a great person to date girls. If one wants to become a great person, this shouldn't be the reason.

 

[Kathryn]

You are thinking is flawed, lets reframe. How is it work meeting people unless it's about tricking someone into liking you? It should be fun meeting, dating whatever you are doing. Become a great person then others will want to spend time with you. There is a high school boy that I know. His bones don't grow correctly so the doctors have to break his legs and spread the bones out to grow. It is extremely painful and his legs are way to short. This kid is so brave and strong I have seen girls pay attention to him. He has much to offer beyond his shorter then normal legs.

This is so true.

If you're having to work so hard, something's not right. I mean, most people past the age of 30 have to work harder to stay in shape, or work harder to overcome some emotional baggage, that sort of thing, but there shouldn't be such onerous work involved in attracting and keeping good mate prospects.

Let me tweak that statement.

It's somewhat frustrating to put yourself out in the dating world as available and looking, not for a fling, but for a long term, serious relationship, because obviously everyone who may be interested in DATING you may NOT be interested in the long term, serious stuff - or may not be after one or two dates with you. My gosh, do you want EVERYONE to fall madly in love with you and pursue you and want to have your babies, or do you just want ONE woman (at least - one woman at a time) feeling that way - out of all the women out there you could potentially date?

It IS like trying to find a needle in a haystack. That's what makes it so incredible when you DO find that match.

 

[Shermana]

Stay in shape? Hard work. Be in better shape than your competition? Harder work.

Own a car? Work. Own a car that the ladies are known to pay attention to? Harder work.

Have work and a job to begin with? Work. Have work and a job that can compete with the rich players? Insane levels of work and luck.

Have a place to live to bring the ladies to? Work. Have a mansion to compete with the rich players? Insane levels of work and luck.

 

[Kathryn]

Stay in shape? Hard work. Be in better shape than your competition? Harder work.

A six pack may get a woman's attention, but it won't keep it.

Own a car? Work. Own a car that the ladies are known to pay attention to? Harder work.

How old are these ladies you're targeting?

Keep your car clean and well maintained. Open the door for her when you walk her to the car. That should about do it.

Have work and a job to begin with? Work. Have work and a job that can compete with the rich players? Insane levels of work and luck.

There aren't that many "rich players" so the odds are in your favor.

Be responsible with your money. Work hard and with pride. Don't complain about your job - instead, show interest and enthusiasm about your career - whatever it is. Most women really like to see enthusiasm for a career in a man.

Have a place to live to bring the ladies to? Work. Have a mansion to compete with the rich players? Insane levels of work and luck.

Where do you live - Beverly Hills?

Keep your place neat and clean. Make sure it smells good. Be sure the bathroom is immaculate. Cook for her. Pull her chair out for her and tell her she's beautiful in the candlelight (this won't be a lie or simply a smooth line because everyone looks better by candlelight!). She will be impressed, believe me.

 

[Badran]

This thread's pretty depressing.

Unbelievable amount of negative stereotypes about men and women.

 

[Kathryn]

This thread's pretty depressing.

Unbelievable amount of negative stereotypes about men and women.

I'm thinking about throwing myself off a cliff. After I finish this bottle of wine.

 

[Shermana]

A six pack may get a woman's attention, but it won't keep it.

Ummmm......yeah ok. :no:

I can guarantee you that a good physique is more than enough for these guys to get what they want with a great deal of ladies, if not the majority. Keeping them is usually not on their agenda because there are many more who want a piece for themselves.

How old are these ladies you're targeting?

18-30 generally.

Keep your car clean and well maintained. Open the door for her when you walk her to the car. That should about do it.

I guess guys drive BMWs and raised pick up trucks just for the fun of it.

There aren't that many "rich players" so the odds are in your favor.

Where I live, there be plenty.

Be responsible with your money. Work hard and with pride. Don't complain about your job - instead, show interest and enthusiasm about your career - whatever it is. Most women really like to see enthusiasm for a career in a man.

That's why New York bankers and corporate Execs have such a more difficult time getting ladies than the small business owner or the guy working two jobs wherever he can just to make ends meet.

Where do you live - Beverly Hills?

About 30 miles east.

Keep your place neat and clean. Make sure it smells good. Be sure the bathroom is immaculate. Cook for her. Pull her chair out for her and tell her she's beautiful in the candlelight (this won't be a lie or simply a smooth line because everyone looks better by candlelight!). She will be impressed, believe me.

Hey, I have a small place and it's not completely impossible to bring ladies back for massages, but it would be a heckava lot easier if I had a big place in 90210.

 

[MissAlice]

This thread's pretty depressing.

Unbelievable amount of negative stereotypes about men and women.

Yep but I think a few people brought up some good points. Maybe the OP might realize not all women are the same. Personally I never understood this popular stereotype of women being attracted to jerks but maybe I'm in the women minority. :areyoucra

 

[Penumbra]

Eh, I haven't unsubscribed and this thread is popping up in my control panel drawing me back in.

Short note: If I see a guy in a fancy car, especially at my age, I view that as a strike against him, actually. It's not a deal breaker, but all else being equal, I'm not impressed.

 

[Kathryn]

Ummmm......yeah ok. :no:

I can guarantee you that a good physique is more than enough for these guys to get what they want with a great deal of ladies, if not the majority. Keeping them is usually not on their agenda because there are many more who want a piece for themselves.

Maybe your mistake is assuming that the women who go out with these guys are WANTING a long term, serious relationship. Maybe they're just players too. What's good for the goose...

I guess guys drive BMWs and raised pick up trucks just for the fun of it.

There are some women who are impressed by vehicles - but not nearly as many as men think.

Just so you know - a lot of women who see a guy in a flashy car or truck think he's trying to make up for having a very small penis.

That's why New York bankers and corporate Execs have such a more difficult time getting ladies than the small business owner or the guy working two jobs wherever he can just to make ends meet.

Where I come from, women LOVE small business owners. Yum.

Also, there are a LOT more small business owners and plain ol' working guys than there are NY bankers and corporate execs. Look around you. My gosh, go to WalMart or Lowes or the hardware store or Chilis restaurant. Look at these regular guys and their wives/girlfriends. Hey - THEY'RE HAVING SEX (hopefully not at the store or in the parking lot however...). And I bet nearly all of them are just regular guys working regular jobs - some of them are probably even unemployed! Amazing.

Hey, I have a small place and it's not completely impossible to bring ladies back for massages, but it would be a heckava lot easier if I had a big place in 90210.

I wonder how many regular people are hanging out in their regular apartments with their significant other tonight - outside the 90210 zipcode...

 

[Kathryn]

Eh, I haven't unsubscribed and this thread is popping up in my control panel drawing me back in.

Short note: If I see a guy in a fancy car, especially at my age, I view that as a strike against him, actually. It's not a deal breaker, but all else being equal, I'm not impressed.

Sign of a small penis.