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Is it wrong if you want to know a partners or potential partner's biological/original gender?

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
However while it is entirely possible that Tom MAY be a bigot, it is also entirely possible that this scenario can arise without bigotry simply based on the idea of having a personal preference in sexual partners that is cis-female.

It seems like some are implying that there is no rational reason why a cis hetero male would choose not to have sex with a trans female only because they are trans.
 

McBell

Admiral Obvious
That she should assume she is undesirable, she is not really female, and that guys are very likely going to not want to have sex with her, and act accordingly.
Except he did want to have sex with her.
So much so that he let his erection override everything else
 

Koldo

Outstanding Member
That she should assume she is undesirable, she is not really female, and that guys are very likely going to not want to have sex with her, and act accordingly.

I will edit it to properly fit what i said:

1) She is not a cisgender female.
2) Many guys are very likely going to not want to have sex with her if they know she is trans.
3) She shouldn't let people who she is going to have sex with to be mislead into believing she is a cisgender female.

If these sentences are equal to what you understand by 'she should know her place', then so be it.
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Except he did want to have sex with her.
So much so that he let his erection override everything else

I know that. I'm defending Shirley in this thread and saying Tom is overreacting due to ignorance and phobia. I was answering Koldo's question for clarification on what I meant when I submitted that Tom's supporters think Shirley should know her place.
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
I will edit it to properly fit what i said:

1) She is not a cisgender female.
2) Many guys are very likely going to not want to have sex with her if they know she is trans.
3) She shouldn't let people who she is going to have sex with to be mislead into believing she is a cisgender female.

If these sentences are equal to what you understand by 'she should know her place', then so be it.

Yes. And that is precisely why such a view is transphobic and cis-normative.
 

InformedIgnorance

Do you 'know' or believe?
You really expect full disclosure for a one night stand?
I would expect her to recognize that it was something that could significantly effect my decision and thus I had a right to know - just as I would consider it my responsibility to disclose anything that I thought could be considered (by a not insignificant proportion of women) relevant to the choice to hook up. But then again perhaps this a good part of the reason why I would never survive on the casual sex frontier.

Also were I some violent bigot then it would be far safer for her to ensure that she knew upfront, rather than potentially finding out later (because the unexpected can happen) and being placed in a dangerous situation. For that reason, sounding out a potential partner while in a safe relatively public place (where there was sufficient privacy to have a private word yet public enough to have observable reactions identified) would seem a good idea. Of course there would be the temptation to not disclose the truth in order to protect herself from bigots, I can understand that - but tbh, its probably safer not to hook up with them to begin with. Though who knows maybe she picks them on purpose to get her kicks lol
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
I disagree.
What arguments can you present?
Any argument that doesn't load the word previously with your intended meaning?

LOL you actually spelled it out, Koldo. I'm just stating the obvious that in a cis-normative society, people will largely be transphobic and wish to not have sex with a trans person regardless of whether or not that person is post-op or not.

Are you arguing that a cis-normative society is a healthy, normal, and ideal society?
 

McBell

Admiral Obvious
I would expect her to recognize that it was something that could significantly effect my decision and thus I had a right to know - just as I would consider it my responsibility to disclose anything that I thought could be considered (by a not insignificant proportion of women) relevant to the choice to hook up. But then again perhaps this a good part of the reason why I would never survive on the casual sex frontier.
How is she to know what you do and do not find relevant to the decision of having a one night stand with someone unless you tell her?

Also were I some violent bigot then it would be far safer for her to ensure that she knew upfront, rather than potentially finding out later (because the unexpected can happen) and being placed in a dangerous situation. For that reason, sounding out a potential partner while in a safe relatively public place (where there was sufficient privacy to have a private word yet public enough to have observable reactions identified) would seem a good idea. Of course there would be the temptation to not disclose the truth in order to protect herself from bigots, I can understand that - but tbh, its probably safer not to hook up with them to begin with. Though who knows maybe she picks them on purpose to get her kicks lol
I do not understand the relevance of this...
 

Koldo

Outstanding Member
LOL you actually spelled it out, Koldo. I'm just stating the obvious that in a cis-normative society, people will largely be transphobic and wish to not have sex with a trans person regardless of whether or not that person is post-op or not.

Are you arguing that a cis-normative society is a healthy, normal, and ideal society?

Once you say that people who do not wish to have sex with a trans person are transphobic it is easy to say that my view is transphobic.

I am still waiting for you to say what arguments could lead to this conclusion without loading the word previously.
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Once you say that people who do not wish to have sex with a trans person are transphobic it is easy to say that my view is transphobic.

I said Tom's reaction is based in ignorance and phobia. And I also stand by my argument that anybody who completely omits the idea of ever having sex with a transgendered person is not acting out of preference. I find the complete omission and reaction to imaginary genitalia to be based on ignorance and phobia.

I am still waiting for you to say what arguments could lead to this conclusion without loading the word previously.

I have repeatedly stated it over and over again. I think some folks just don't want to look like they're mean people when they try to tell a transgendered person nobody would find them desirable.
 

Flankerl

Well-Known Member
Yes. And that is precisely why such a view is transphobic and cis-normative.

Yes how dare those evil cis' dont want to have sex with transpeople.

Being allowed to have your own sexual preference? Haha no the 21st century is coming to a place near you!


Should i now check my cis privilege?
 
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