i'll repeat a question that was over looked...
so if a person comes into a believers house rapes their wife murders her and tortured their children in the believers presence and that believer begins to harbor hate towards the murderer, they are not allowing god's spirit to work through them, really?
You're question hints at an attitude that forgiveness and loving the murderer under these circumstances is damn near impossible if not totally impossible for a human being therefore making it somewhat excusable. I'm saying that such trying circumstances as you've mentioned provide a great opportunity for God's power to shine. And yes, unforgiveness and hate are not products of the spirit of God. It's important to understand that even when one is yeilding good fruit through God's spirit often time it comes with enormous effort and perseverance on the part of the person as the bottom two quotations point out
Galatians 5:19- 22 19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Matthew 19:26 26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
1 Corinthian 9:
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.
27No,
I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
Matthew 18:9 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.