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Should Feminists be encouraging women to be strippers?

Shermana

Heretic
It is not a condradiction. The simple fact is just because I do not agree with something or support a certian act does not give me the right to force other people to agree with me or not act according to what I think if that makes sense. Every woman has to choose for themself, I cannot choose for them.

I am not sure what you are referring to as "the right".

"The right" means "The legal ability to do so".

I'm not saying you have to choose for them. I'm saying if it's something you disagree with, then it's not something you should "respect". I disagree with abortion for example, and I certainly don't respect the decision to do so. But however, I fully respect the "right" to do so, and wouldn't want to have legislation preventing a woman from having the right to abort. It's not something I would encourage others to do however, and I would discourage it if my opinion was asked. It's something you should regard as a wrong choice if you disagree with it. You don't have to say it should be banned and they shouldn't have the right. But you should be upfront and say it's something you discourage and wouldn't encourage your friends and family for example to do, let alone strangers.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
oh bother(I say in the tone of Winnie the Pooh)
So I either have to
a)promote sexuality as a form of empowerment or
b)promote to idea that promiscuity is degrading to women.
Wow. Guess that pigeon-holes me.

I would not advise a woman to enter in the sex business industry but neither would a tell her she is wrong for entering it.
If it pays the bills, great.
If it's all about the adventure. Perfect.
If it's the only job you think you are capable of doing. Then we might have a problem.
Would I do it? I don't know. I have never had to make that decision

I, myself, am not a fan of the Lipstick Feminism. I, personally, think **** walks have a negative effect. But that's me.
Hell I have issues with saggy pants, but that's another issue all together.
 

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
"The right" means "The legal ability to do so".

I'm not saying you have to choose for them. I'm saying if it's something you disagree with, then it's not something you should "respect". It's something you should regard as a wrong choice. You don't have to say it should be banned and they shouldn't have the right. But you should be upfront and say it's something you discourage and wouldn't encourage your friends and family for example to do, let alone strangers.

I am not sure what their legal ability to do so has to do with anything given that I have said they have the right to chose what they want to do.

As I have tried to state repeatedly...I respect the ability to choose bot not necessarily the act.

I thought I had already stated I didnt agree with it and wouldnt encourage it... :facepalm:
 

Shermana

Heretic
Hmmm....

1) I'm 40 and have lived in various parts of the U.S. from the midwest to up and down the East Coast. From the heart of Manhattan, to rural midwest and Bible Belt countryside, to the Florida Keys. People are people.

2) My husband and I enjoy going to strip clubs together and pay for lap dances. Therefore, *I* am also a patron of "adult services" as well as my husband. So, I think I am qualified to give an informed opinion here.



I define it as reducing a person down to a sum of body parts that only serves to sexually please another person.

Also, plenty of men (again with the insistence of only wanting to talk from the male gaze) go to strippers and enjoy talking with strippers and having attention given to them. I've noticed that the tables and poles are there as the platform for strippers who engage with her audience. And the ones who gets the most dollar bills aren't the ones who just show up with the T&A, but the ones who make the effort to connect with her patrons.

I have no idea what your experience has been like in strip clubs, but dancers actually do a lot more talking with patrons than they do dancing. It's a means of securing private dances where a lot of money is made.

So when you and your husband pay for a lapdance, it has nothing to do with objectifying the woman? When men tip the strippers, that has nothing to do with objectifying them?

I've been to strip clubs, and I have had services. I've had girls at the touch-allowed-ones give me more time for free because I turned them on so much and they didn't want to get off the ride. There wasn't much talking involved. Unless of course they were just hoping to get me to call them later for a "private session" and they were REALLY convincing actresses. So perhaps we've just been to different strip clubs, but I've never heard any man say he went for a stripper for the talking. And especially so, if the talking is for securing a "private session", what does that say? The talking is just to get them to feel more comfortable perhaps?

So now, apparently, when "talking" and "connecting" is involved, this somehow shatters the notion of "objectifying"?
 
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Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Erotic art, in my understanding, suggests in a subtle and slightly more than subtle way without it being in your face and that kind of thing. Leaves more to the imagination.

I think your qualifications are most likely more accurate than mine, at least in terms of what is most likely generally accepted. The way i look at it is that the line between pornography and erotic art is not as clear as some people may think, with some examples being possibly easily distinguishable, though.

So i felt more comfortable categorizing it that way, especially because of how i personally perceive stripping.
 

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
I think your qualifications are most likely more accurate than mine, at least in terms of what is most likely generally accepted. The way i look at it is that the line between pornography and erotic art is not as clear as some people may think, with some examples being possibly easily distinguishable, though.

So i felt more comfortable categorizing it that way, especially because of how i personally perceive stripping.

I don't see stripping as being an erotic art or erotic act. It is too in your face I think but that is just the opinion of one person :)
 

Shermana

Heretic
oh bother(I say in the tone of Winnie the Pooh)
So I either have to
a)promote sexuality as a form of empowerment or
b)promote to idea that promiscuity is degrading to women.
Wow. Guess that pigeon-holes me.

I would not advise a woman to enter in the sex business industry but neither would a tell her she is wrong for entering it.
If it pays the bills, great.
If it's all about the adventure. Perfect.
If it's the only job you think you are capable of doing. Then we might have a problem.
Would I do it? I don't know. I have never had to make that decision

I, myself, am not a fan of the Lipstick Feminism. I, personally, think **** walks have a negative effect. But that's me.
Hell I have issues with saggy pants, but that's another issue all together.

If it was a family member, would you tell them it was wrong?

Well at least you agree that Lipstick Feminism is not exactly beneficial to women.
 

Shermana

Heretic
I am not sure what their legal ability to do so has to do with anything given that I have said they have the right to chose what they want to do.

As I have tried to state repeatedly...I respect the ability to choose bot not necessarily the act.

I thought I had already stated I didnt agree with it and wouldnt encourage it... :facepalm:

Okay, if we've established you would not encourage it, then you do not agree with it, though you may respect their right to do it. Okay, so we're basically on the same side then.
 

dgirl1986

Big Queer Chesticles!
Okay, if we've established you would not encourage it, then you do not agree with it, though you may respect their right to do it. Okay, so we're basically on the same side then.

And that took how many pages to get the point across that I have been making since my first couple of posts in this... :facepalm:
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
So when you and your husband pay for a lapdance, it has nothing to do with objectifying the woman? When men tip the strippers, that has nothing to do with objectifying them?

We tip because of the titillation coming from the interaction. And from my observations, that's the reason why other patrons tip. It's the interaction and the attention given by an erotic dancer. It's kind of like air-guitar, but it's "air-foreplay".

I've been to strip clubs, and I have had services. I've had girls at the touch-allowed-ones give me more time for free because I turned them on so much and they didn't want to get off the ride. Unless of course they were just hoping to get me to call them later for a "private session" and they were REALLY convincing actresses.

It's for the tips. You bought it. Patrons love hearing from the dancers how they're a favorite patron, how they turn them on, how handsome they look, how they can't wait to see them again, how they don't want them to leave. It's part and parcel of the service.

So perhaps we've just been to different strip clubs, but I've never heard any man say he went for a stripper for the talking. And especially so, if the talking is for securing a "private session", what does that say? The talking is just to get them to feel more comfortable perhaps?

It's for the attention, which i stated repeatedly. Conversation is one way, which patrons do engage in with the dancers. Another is seeing which dancer will interact with them at the table the most.

Now, are there patrons out there who objectify women? Sure. But that's entirely on their conscience and will objectify women regardless of whether or not they're in a strip club or not.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
If it was a family member, would you tell them it was wrong?
My daughter(one of many) said she wanted to be a Marine. I asked her if she was sure that was what she wanted to do. Another daughter wants to be a veterinarian. I asked her the same question. "are you sure that is what you want to do?"
I provided each with the pros and cons of such lines of work.
Should either of them decide to get married, I wold act the same.
It is the same with the sex industry. If that was what they wanted to do(and as their mother, I am happy they haven't made that decision) I would support them in their endeavor.
Well at least you agree that Lipstick Feminism is not exactly beneficial to women.
I am sure it has it's up sides, I just haven't seen them yet.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
My husband and I went to a strip club once. Didn't ask for any services. we were more there to watch the strippers than anything. We were often, very critical of how these women performed on the stage and only one time did we tip a stripper. She impressed us with her agility.
 

Shermana

Heretic
My husband and I went to a strip club once. Didn't ask for any services. we were more there to watch the strippers than anything. We were often, very critical of how these women performed on the stage and only one time did we tip a stripper. She impressed us with her agility.

Did you just go out of curiosity? What exactly made you criticize their dance performances? Were they ungraceful? Not smooth in their movements?
 

Shermana

Heretic
My daughter(one of many) said she wanted to be a Marine. I asked her if she was sure that was what she wanted to do. Another daughter wants to be a veterinarian. I asked her the same question. "are you sure that is what you want to do?"
I provided each with the pros and cons of such lines of work.
Should either of them decide to get married, I wold act the same.
It is the same with the sex industry. If that was what they wanted to do(and as their mother, I am happy they haven't made that decision) I would support them in their endeavor.

I am sure it has it's up sides, I just haven't seen them yet.

You're happy that they haven't made that decision? Why is that? Are you being completely honest that you would support them in that endeavor? Somehow that doesn't click with me.
 

Shermana

Heretic
We tip because of the titillation coming from the interaction. And from my observations, that's the reason why other patrons tip. It's the interaction and the attention given by an erotic dancer. It's kind of like air-guitar, but it's "air-foreplay".

Nonetheless, titilation. Attention is part of the process.

It's for the tips. You bought it. Patrons love hearing from the dancers how they're a favorite patron, how they turn them on, how handsome they look, how they can't wait to see them again, how they don't want them to leave. It's part and parcel of the service.

Of course they'd love hearing it. It's part of what gets them going. Feeling good about themselves is part of the sexploitation aspect. You can dress it up all you want, but they're still there for the fleshly aspect. If they went to a girl they didn't find attractive just for that attention maybe that would be one occasion of a counter-example.


It's for the attention, which i stated repeatedly. Conversation is one way, which patrons do engage in with the dancers. Another is seeing which dancer will interact with them at the table the most.

I highly doubt it's mainly for the "attention" as in the usual sense of "attention". I'll have to look up this subject to see just how many men are going at it for the "Conversation" as a major aspect of it. As far as I'm concerned, those are just perks to make them the preferred service over the others in what is otherwise, still just objectification. So far, none of this has exempted them from being 'Objectified" even if the conversation and attention were a major aspect of it.

Now, are there patrons out there who objectify women? Sure. But that's entirely on their conscience and will objectify women regardless of whether or not they're in a strip club or not.

I would say the grand majority of patrons objectify women. If that's entirely on their conscience, then...exactly. So you have no problem then with encouraging behavior that will fuel this objectification? If so, that's fine, I'm just saying that this is one particular aspect of Feminism of which others may disagree.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
Did you just go out of curiosity? What exactly made you criticize their dance performances? Were they ungraceful? Not smooth in their movements?
I was curious as to what the fuss was about.
I am not entirely sure I can give an accurate, detailed description of what I saw that night.
You pole dance, wearing a bikini.
Before the next song, you take the top off.
Then you proceed to "show'em what you got" by either
shaking your butt at them or
laying on your back, legs in the air and wiggle your feet.

The one that impressed us stripped while pole dancing. was very flexible and knew what she was doing.
 

Rakhel

Well-Known Member
You're happy that they haven't made that decision? Why is that? Are you being completely honest that you would support them in that endeavor? Somehow that doesn't click with me.
Number one, because they are my kids, and number two, you aren't a mother.
 

Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Okay, name a healthy of way of addressing objectification of women. What is this "Core" of the issue and how can we "address" it in a way which promotes a better situation?

I already did. Attempting to educate people in regards to the irrationality and damage caused by ****-shaming. IOW, fighting the ascribing of falsely proposed inherent negative moral connotations to a lot of the things women do.

So what is "erotic art" then? Does it involve you viewing the woman in a way which you find sexually pleasing? What is "art" in this case? So if one person views it as "erotic art" and 100 other guys view it as "BOOBIES!!!" then it's not objectifying because at least a tiny minority doesn't see it like that? If you honestly think men are going to strip clubs for the "art" value, well, let's just agree to disagree.

First, art is subjective. We can come to some form of definition, but in the end we will no doubt both admit that there's a subjective element to this. Which is exactly what i'm talking about. Ignoring that blatant subjective element and trying to ascribe supposed inherent negative moral connotations despite of this is what i'm arguing against. People perceive this differently, and regardless of any supposed numbers, this in itself invalidates the notion that there's any supposed inherent negativity here.

Which, to any rational person, would entail at least the possibility that what needs addressing is the perception of people, which is affected by other social forces.

Oh okay, so basically you're saying that "Erotic art" is essentially the same thing as "going to get your rocks off".

That is one element, and a dominant one, but it's not by far the only one. To simplify 'senses' to just 'getting your rocks off' is your own view of it, but it was not what i intended to say.

So technically EVERYONE goes to the Strip club for the "Erotic Art" value.

What i was trying to say there is that a lot of people would have labeled it differently and would have not ascribed to it negative connotations if the other social forces at work were not present.

Okay, well that brings up another question: Is "Erotic Art" now a form of sexual exploitation? How is calling it "Erotic Art" not just a euphimism for what is otherwise "Erotic Exploitation"? What is the difference between a person going to a Strip club for the "Erotic Art" and Al Bundy and his "No M'aam" crew going to the Strip Club?

This is of course based on a misunderstanding of what i said, which i have now clarified above.

I'm not sure if you interpreted what I said correctly.

Feel free to correct me. It seemed that you raised a possibility regarding my position that i neither stated nor implied, so i was making it clear that i didn't.

How do you plan on fighting the idea of ****-shaming? As I said, by far and large, the **** shamers tend to be other women.

Mentioned above.


Because your simplistic views do not accurately represent mine and other men's.

I think it's quite a fair statement that we men should be upright and honest in saying that we have a personal interest in this "sexual liberation" to be registered in how to interpret our opinions. For instance, if you find personal pleasure through this "erotic art" that a "classical Feminist" would still think is nothing more than just a fancy way of saying "Erotic enjoyment", then that's obviously a factor.

I have clear cut stances regarding liberties, what i view as negative aspects in different cultures in approaching women, and what i view as cultural taboos in general. My views in these regards have clear cut common basis. Feel free to ask about them, rather than using the fact that it happens that stripping is a pleasurable thing for me to watch as a method of attempting to undermine or question the motives of my views.
 
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Shermana

Heretic
I already did. Attempting to educate people in regards to the irrationality and damage caused by ****-shaming. IOW, fighting the ascribing of falsely proposed inherent negative moral connotations to a lot of the things women do.

Okay, good luck. Like I said, women are by far and large the biggest **** shamers of all, so I wish you the best in convincing them however you plan on 'educating" them.


First, art is subjective. We can come to some form of definition, but in the end we will no doubt both admit that there's a subjective element to this. Which is exactly what i'm talking about. Ignoring that blatant subjective element and trying to ascribe supposed inherent negative moral connotations despite of this is what i'm arguing against. People perceive this differently, and regardless of any supposed numbers, this in itself invalidates that there's any supposed inherent negativity here.

I'm really not sure that how any of that goes against what I said.



Which, to any rational person, would entail at least the possibility that what needs addressing is the perception of people, which is affected by other social forces.

I'm seriously at a loss here as to what you're trying to say exactly. I'm not saying that the "BOOBIES!!!" factor is somehow "negative", I'm saying that's how Feminists, MANY Feminists regard it. They are the ones you'll have to convince that they are not being sexually exploited. Try phrasing what you're trying to say differently because I'm still not sure I understand.



That is one element, and a dominant one, but it's not by far the only one. To simplify 'senses' to just 'getting your rocks off' is your own view of it, but it was not what i intended to say.

Okay, it's an element that is the dominant element as you say. That's the main concern here. So these women are catering to these guys going to "get their rocks off".



What i was trying to say there is that a lot of people would have labeled it differently and would have not ascribed to it negative connotations if the other social forces at work were not present.

Yes there are a lot, but the "negative connotations" are nonetheless a major factor of a major element of the Feminist movement's regard of Strip Clubs and X-rated media.



This is of course based on a misunderstanding of what i said, which i have now clarified above.

I still don't understand what you're saying.



Feel free to correct me. It seemed that you raised a possibility regarding my position that i neither stated nor implied, so i was making it clear that i didn't.

Okay.



Mentioned above.

Okay, so your plan is on educating people as if they must change their views to accomodate to yours based on an appeal to emotion. Good luck.


Because your simplistic views do not accurately represent mine and other men's.

By "other men's", I'm assuming you mean the ones you know personally, or do you have access to stats here.

I have clear cut stances regarding liberties, what i view as negative aspects in different cultures in approaching women, and what i view as cultural taboos in general. My views in these regards have clear cut common basis. Feel free to ask about them, rather than using the fact that it happens that stripping is a pleasurable thing for me to watch as a method of attempting to undermine or question the motives of my views.

Okay, if we've established that it's "Pleasurable" for you, then how is what you call "Erotic art" still not a form of objectification? I'm not seeing how there's an actual difference.
 
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