Well, here is the problem of the limit of empirical.
All thoughts and feelings about what matters and how it matters are not real as the tree you mentioned. And that includes all of your evaluations of what is correct or not when it comes to human behavior. That is so for all humans with higher cognitive function.
So that you consider sex and gender to be the same is not real, because your consideration is not empirical.
And now I am going to do a reductio ad absurdum in the broad sense.
Let us say that you and I understand something different to the point that it amounts to a contradiction if consider together. I then claim you don't understand anything at all, because it amounts to a contradiction. The problem is that it works in the other direction too.
So for something where you don't understand another human, it doesn't mean that this other human doesn't understand it differently, just because you don't understand it the same way.
Once you learn to consider in effect the non-empirical parts of human understanding to be variable, you can ask different question than assuming that only your understanding is the correct one.
Do you understand this?