Sha'irullah
رسول الآلهة
What?
I was brainstorming. My demented asexual mind has been trying to figure out what I can do with sex and so far the only thing it does is provide comedic relief
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What If We Admitted to Children That Sex Is Primarily About Pleasure?
- Thread starter Nymphs
- Start date
I was brainstorming. My demented asexual mind has been trying to figure out what I can do with sex and so far the only thing it does is provide comedic relief
When I become a father and my kid(s) ask about sex, I'm just going to send them to Wikipedia.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Educating children about sex from a young age is responsible, not inappropriate. That means age appropriate education, of course. We're not teaching about dildos to three year olds here. Young kids should learn the proper names for body parts, as they get older you answer the questions they ask - you don't have to add more to "where baby's come from" than "Mom's stomach" until they want to know more, or they're old enough to understand more thoroughly.
Teaching kids about sex does not turn them into "sex objects" or make them sexually active earlier, or make them inappropriately sexual. The most likely thing in kashmir's story about a girl who was hypersexual is that she was abused in some way - exposed to pornography, molested, raped.
But if she wasn't really hypersexual and instead learned a little about sex and misunderstood it, then she just needed more education. The same way that kids have to learn that touching themselves is only appropriate in their bedroom and that we only hug or touch other people with permission.
(Which as an aside is a reason that forcing our kids to hug us or other adults is wrong wrong wrong!)
Teaching kids about sex does not turn them into "sex objects" or make them sexually active earlier, or make them inappropriately sexual. The most likely thing in kashmir's story about a girl who was hypersexual is that she was abused in some way - exposed to pornography, molested, raped.
But if she wasn't really hypersexual and instead learned a little about sex and misunderstood it, then she just needed more education. The same way that kids have to learn that touching themselves is only appropriate in their bedroom and that we only hug or touch other people with permission.
(Which as an aside is a reason that forcing our kids to hug us or other adults is wrong wrong wrong!)
Sha'irullah
رسول الآلهة
I don't support any taboos around sex.
I think if I had a kid, I'd approach the subject of sex roughly like how I'd approach the subject of driving. No secrets, no shame, just a healthy respect for the responsibility it involves.
SkepticThinker
Veteran Member
Talking to kids about sex isn't going to make them sex objects, unless you want to make them sex objects. :cover:
And in actuality, talking to kids about sex may help protect them against people who do want to make them into sex objects.
Sorry to butt in out of nowhere.
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
And in actuality, talking to kids about sex may help protect them against people who do want to make them into sex objects.
Sorry to butt in out of nowhere.
Not at all. It's a very good point, and I agree. While I like being hypersexual, I do think a good part of that has to do with my upbringing.
This attitude and approach I have found to be the most effective and the most responsible in helping children 1) understand their bodies and how they mature, 2) understand how other peoples bodies and how they mature, and most importantly, 3) be better able to discern their own boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not.
Leftimies
Dwelling in the Principle
Doing so would be an outrageous lie with little to no basis in reality. Sex is not primarily about pleasure - it is primarily about reproduction. Pleasure merely plays an encouraging part in that objective, as those species which developed pleasure-payoff were more likely to reproduce and bear offsprings. And modern hedonism doesn't even aim to have offsprings. Its kind of like not going to work and expecting to get paid.
You are walking on thin ice here - the pleasure is not there to be indulged in, it is there as a reward. That is not any kind of religious preaching, either, what you'd might expect - it is an evolutionary fact.
And to what a terrible, empty landscape would we condemn those poor souls. Sex just as a tool for pleasure? And not as the supreme method for emotional bonding, cherishing of an unique bond? Thats the true payoff of sex, or lovemaking, and it in my opinion quite fantastically transcends the realm of simple 'pleasure'. One must always emphasise the superior aspects of sex because they bring true happiness. Especially for kids we need to emphasise that, they need the best kind of advice in my opinion. They don't need to learn something that makes them completely objectify their partners, dehumanising them into mere objects of fun.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Do teens not catch on to this anyway? My Mom never told me that sex was primarily an activity partaken in for pleasure, but, my sexual pursuits were pleasure-focused anyway.
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
Lol! Thanks.
I don't even want to imagine the Wiki Walk that will ensue.
"Daddy, do I need to get a pilot's license to have sex?"
Pegg
Jehovah our God is One
then there would be a lot more neglected children in the world
How so?
This post is perfect :bow:
This is idealistic.
If sex wasn't pleasurable most people wouldn't do it. And if they did it would be because they want kids. And that would mean we only have sex a few times in a lifetime.
The reason that most people have regular sex- or sex at all- is because we have a physical need for the relief it brings as well as pursuing pleasure.
Btw. Making love, or having sex for love, IS pleasurable. It's not like the experience causes you pain and suffering but you do it because you love the person.
I would teach my kids that people have sex because it is natural to want it but that sex with someone you love is the greatest form.
I've heard of one family that taught their grade-school daughter that "Daddy planted a seed inside of Mommy."
Sounds age-appropriate to me.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Grade school I'd kind of expect more, personally. I guarantee that that kid thought planting seeds in dirt led to cabbage patch babies
Or put gave a watermelon seed to someone and said "now you have a baby!"Which is fine, it just means she needs to know more because she doesn't understand it. By age 6-8 though you probably need to add more to it. I had a friend in grad school whose specilization was in comprehensive sex education but I don't know the work as well as she does to suggest exactly what is appropriate when. My work in the area was focused on victims of sexual abuse - which usually means teaching kids* EVERYTHING since they've already learned wrong behaviors or been victimized.
*Not the 2-3 year olds really, as they still couldn't understand what had happened. And the fact that I had 2-3 year old clients should say something. Mostly nauseating something.
kashmir
Well-Known Member
Odd how you explain the part about "age appropriate" and that seemed to go right over your head when you then discussed the girl I talked about.
I tend to wonder who all even knows what is age appropriate, considering no one seems to be able to distinguish pleasure from love.
I just love repeating myself too, the title of this thread speaks for itself, the way people are arguing with me also tells a huge story.
given these two ways to explain sex to kids
1) people do it because it feels good
2) people do it when they love each other
I would teach them that sex is something that is cherished and for the person you love.
One of the biggest problems today with young kids, is that girls think they have to have sex with a boy for them to like them and boys think that if girl doesn't have sex with them they move on to ones that will.
Some keep saying they don't wish to raise little sex objects, yet they keep defending "pleasure" is being the most important part of sex.
No one seems to be discussing anything else.
There is a heck of a lot more important things to teach kids about sex then the fact it feels good.
That should be the last thing on an adults mind, when discussing sex with kids.
Furthermore, by the time a kid realizes sex exists, they most likely know it feels good, from exploring their own bodies.
If anything, answer this people.
What would you explain to kids about who they should have sex with and when?
1st date?
2nd date?
when ever they feel like it?
To be frank, I don't think some here are being very honest and should just admit that they could care less if their kids begin having sex with other kids, because it feels good and actually seem to support that sort of perspective on what sex is.
If that is how some feel, why dance around it?