• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Would you allow your child to marry and Atheist?

Would you let YOUR child marry an atheist? (Private Poll)

  • Of course.

    Votes: 52 94.5%

  • Of Course Not.

    Votes: 3 5.5%
  • Total voters
    55
Circle_One

Circle_One

Well-Known Member
SHANMAC said:
The question is whether I would "let" my child marry an athiest. Quite honestly, I don't know that I have any authority over my child in this regard. Sure, I would hope he/she would respect my opinion enough to (a) come to me in the first place, and (b) give due consideration to my opinion. However, I don't pretend to have the authority to mandate who my child can/cannot marry.

It is an entirely different question to ask whether I would give my blessing to such a union. To be honest, I'm torn on that one. On the one hand, I'm taught to love everyone despite their attitudes and beliefs. On the other hand, I want what I consider to be best for my child. In this regard, ideally I would want her to marry a follower of Jesus. Moreover, regardless of the belief, I suspect the odds of a couple staying together are much greater where they both hold the same spiritual beliefs. Good question to ponder.
Click to expand...

As per the bolded: Let me let you in on a little secret ok? YOU, as a family member have NO place in the choice of who a child falls in love with. Normally, it's NOT something one can control. A child cannot simply fall out of love with someone because the parent doesn't approve.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 years now and guess what. My family doesn't approve. In fact, they hate him. Half of them haven't spoken to me in YEARS because I didn't "respect their opinion" regarding him. It didn't matter that no one respected MINE, only that I didn't respect theirs. They constantly make snarky remarks about him, belittle him and call him down. He is not allowed at ANY family function, even though everyone else's SO is welcome with open arms.

Have you ANY idea what that does to someone? It's put a strain on my relationship and has led me to resent and HATE many of my family members. Including my own MOTHER. Because she is mad that I didn't "respect her opinion", my mother and I have the most strained relationship ever, and we used to be best of friends. My older brother and I, who used to do everything with each other, haven't uttered a single word to each other in three years. Not even a "hello". On his birthday a few years ago I wished him a happy birthday, just to be respectful, and he told me to save his breath, I wasn't his sister anymore. ALL because I fell in love with someone they didn't approve of, and when they made their feelings known, I didn't respect their wishes and fall miraculously out of love with him.

So before you go on about respecting YOUR opinion, how about you think about respecting your CHILD's, before you and your child end up in the same boat my family and I are in.

It's not a nice boat to be in.
 
SHANMAC

SHANMAC

Member
Circle_One said:
So before you go on about respecting YOUR opinion, how about you think about respecting your CHILD's, before you and your child end up in the same boat my family and I are in.

It's not a nice boat to be in.
Click to expand...

Wow. I could actually feel the emotion coming through my cpu screen. First, I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a strained relationship with your family and boyfriend. You are right - I cannot begin to understand how that feels. Second, I appreciate your insight.

Third, I'd like to respond to your last sentiment. I don't beleive I was "going on" about respecting my opinion. As you quoted me as saying, it was my hope that my child respected me enough to come to me and to respect my opinion. "Respect" and "adhere to" are extremely different concepts. I would not expect my child to do everything I say. Moreover, I would not put my child in the position of having to choose between me and his/her girl/boyfriend out of fear of creating a relationship you've just described.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not address your point about offering my opionion. The OP posed a question. I gave my opinion on the question. It was my impression that this is what the RF was all about. If I in some way misinterpreted your point, my apologies.

Regardless, I hope that things get mended in your family. I don't know where I'd be without mine and hate to think of not being able to call on them throughout the ups and downs. Peace to you and your fam.
 
Circle_One

Circle_One

Well-Known Member
SHANMAC said:
Wow. I could actually feel the emotion coming through my cpu screen. First, I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a strained relationship with your family and boyfriend. You are right - I cannot begin to understand how that feels. Second, I appreciate your insight.

Third, I'd like to respond to your last sentiment. I don't beleive I was "going on" about respecting my opinion. As you quoted me as saying, it was my hope that my child respected me enough to come to me and to respect my opinion. "Respect" and "adhere to" are extremely different concepts. I would not expect my child to do everything I say. Moreover, I would not put my child in the position of having to choose between me and his/her girl/boyfriend out of fear of creating a relationship you've just described.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not address your point about offering my opionion. The OP posed a question. I gave my opinion on the question. It was my impression that this is what the RF was all about. If I in some way misinterpreted your point, my apologies.

Regardless, I hope that things get mended in your family. I don't know where I'd be without mine and hate to think of not being able to call on them throughout the ups and downs. Peace to you and your fam.
Click to expand...

I just wanted to apologize if I seemed a little hardcore in my post. I didn't mean any harm whatsoever. But you're right where my emotion is concerned. It is a very emotional subject to me and I just cannot even fathom someone else having to go through the heartbreak that I've gone through with regards to family.
 
Riverwolf

Riverwolf

Amateur Rambler / Proud Ergi
Premium Member
What my child believes, what his or her friends believe, and what his or her spouse believes, with regards to religion, spirituality, and/or God, is none of my concern.

What IS my concern is the type of person my son or daughter chooses. I certainly would have something to say if my son or daughter chose a spouse with violent tendencies or a neglectful, lazy attitude.
 
TheKnight

TheKnight

Guardian of Life
BalanceFx said:
Would you allow your child to marry an atheist? (Regardless of the other reasons, the fact that who your child wishes to marry an atheist is the deciding factor where you draw the line and say no, or I disapprove etc.)
Click to expand...

I have no control over who my child marries. I can only hope that, while my child is under my roof and my instruction, I can provide my child with moral values in order to produce ethical behavior and rational thought in my child.
 
K

Kerr

Well-Known Member
TheKnight said:
I have no control over who my child marries. I can only hope that, while my child is under my roof and my instruction, I can provide my child with moral values in order to produce ethical behavior and rational thought in my child.
Click to expand...
Out of curiosity, do you mean it would be wrong and irrational for your child to marry an atheist?
 
R

richardlowellt

Well-Known Member
When life gets hard, people turn to their faith, their belief system, for guidance and comfort.
Click to expand...
How unfortunate that if true, they use religion as a sort of crutch, not able to face adversity on their own, not having the inner strength they need. I my opinion that is one of the dangers of religion, substituting a comforting imaginary being for guidance.



I think it's best not to pair up with someone whose core beliefs differ greatly from your own. You're adding an additional level of stress to lives that are going to incur plenty of stress anyway.
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]A good example of how religion can be a poison. Maybe someday it will be eradicated like the disease that it is.
 
TheKnight

TheKnight

Guardian of Life
Kerr said:
Out of curiosity, do you mean it would be wrong and irrational for your child to marry an atheist?
Click to expand...

No. I'm saying that my job as a parent is solely to equip my child (a human being separate from me--not property as many parents subconsciously view their children) with a sense of ethics, a mentality to think rationally, and the tools and materials necessary to grow into and become a human being in our world.

Who he/she marries in the future is not up to me. Where he/she lives it not up to me.

So would I allow it? That question implies that my saying "no" means that I would force my child (by some method that would most likely be illegal) not to marry a certain person.

My point is, simply, who my child marries is up to my child. I will express my opinion on the matter, but ultimately it is their decision and I will stand by their right to make their own decisions.
 
rojse

rojse

RF Addict
It is a pity that the rest of the population is not as rational as the majority of posts in this thread.
 
R

richardlowellt

Well-Known Member
[
QUOTE=Storm;1703885]So, since an atheist said much the same thing, is that an example of atheism being a poison?
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]Lack of belief a poison? How so? Does an Atheist use an imaginary being for support and comfort rather than seek inner strength? Does an Atheist rely on said being for his or her morals? Do Atheist attempt to force their non-belief on school children? Do they proclaim that having a lack of belief makes someone a lesser human? Has a lack of belief caused untold misery and death throughout the history of our species? really now!!
 
K

Kerr

Well-Known Member
TheKnight said:
No. I'm saying that my job as a parent is solely to equip my child (a human being separate from me--not property as many parents subconsciously view their children) with a sense of ethics, a mentality to think rationally, and the tools and materials necessary to grow into and become a human being in our world.

Who he/she marries in the future is not up to me. Where he/she lives it not up to me.

So would I allow it? That question implies that my saying "no" means that I would force my child (by some method that would most likely be illegal) not to marry a certain person.

My point is, simply, who my child marries is up to my child. I will express my opinion on the matter, but ultimately it is their decision and I will stand by their right to make their own decisions.
Click to expand...
Ok. Thanks for the clarification.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top