If you have to choose between two types of women (rebellion vs obedience)

[Godobeyer]

Brother in other words an obedient wife is equal to someone who follows you like a sheep? Why not buy a herd of sheep

The only reason a woman would just blindly follow or be obedient is out of fear or because its expected from her culturally. There isn't a single woman who likes to be controlled.

Ok sister

this is my understanding to obodient and rebellious wife :
#85

what is your definition of obedient or rebellious wife ?

 

[Godobeyer]

You ask her not to go somewhere, but she goes anyway versus her asking you not to go somewhere but you go anyway.

I will try to understand why she insist .

but lets suppose she take rebellious way ? i mean as misrespect and stubborn ?
for sure i will angry may i will divorce her .

for versus:
If she ask me , i will try to understand why ,then that's depend the the important .i will take my decision .

 

[Deathbydefault]

once ago i try to engage a girl i discover she is a rebellious , she make me crazy by her stubborn and misrespect . so i break up .

Depends on what you define as rebellious.
It's one thing if she just ignores you and does what she pleases, and when she is pleased to do so.

However, it's entirely on you if she refuses to obey your commands.

My girlfriend can think for herself and be independent of me.
Yet she doesn't think twice about relying on me, or asking me for help.
She also does favors for me and respects what I say, as far as I can tell anyways.

She's more obedient than rebellious, but its like a 60-40 thing.

 

[Kirran]

I will admit to only having read 2 or 3 pages of this.

But the problem here is:

Both obedient and rebellious presuppose a different level of power between the two parties. A wife who is obedient is one who obeys a more powerful husband. A rebellious wife is one who rebels against a more powerful husband. That difference in power in the relationship, especially presupposed like that, is already something pretty messed in my opinion.

So I am sure I would reject both, as I reject the premise.

 

[Godobeyer]

I will admit to only having read 2 or 3 pages of this.

But the problem here is:

Both obedient and rebellious presuppose a different level of power between the two parties. A wife who is obedient is one who obeys a more powerful husband. A rebellious wife is one who rebels against a more powerful husband. That difference in power in the relationship, especially presupposed like that, is already something pretty messed in my opinion.

So I am sure I would reject both, as I reject the premise.

I am talking about :
Could not be she is rebellious because she is powerful than her husband , or she is rebellious type with everyone ?.

could not be she is rebelious her husband is a kind gental man ?

 

[Sakeenah]

Ok sister

this is my understanding to obodient and rebellious wife :
#85

what is your definition of obedient or rebellious wife ?

Like kirran mentioned by using the term obedient or rebellious one already assumes the man is superior or an authority figure.

I think a husband and wife should see each other as equals and treat each other with respect. There shouldn't be a 'power' struggle..a husband and wife are a team and should both compromise and try to make the other happy.
I don't think there's an issue with the wife cooking and cleaning and taking care of her husband..as long as she does it out of love and not fear.

The definition of obedient and rebellious depends on culture,society etc. So what I see as normal behaviour can be rebellious to you because we grew up and live in different societies.

But if you mean a disrespectful wife/husband.. Who doesn't take your words in consideration and who always wants you to be the one who compromises and doesn't care about your needs,dreams,opinions. Then I wouldn't advise you to be with her/him.

 

[Marisa]

My girlfriend is more the obedient type.
I don't really have a preference for women, no types I go after.
However, I prefer my girlfriend so, in a sense, you could say I prefer obedience.

It's not quite that simple, but the closest to true, I suppose.

My brother in law married a woman half his age (he's in his 40's, she her early 20's) as best I can tell so he could get a woman not quite comfortable enough in her own skin to assert her will. I suppose after watching my marriage to his brother for nearly 2 decades, he wanted a wifey more like his mommy, who allowed her husband to **** away their life savings on a luxury service business in the middle of a recession, despite knowing her husband was a **** poor money manager. Such antics would not have occurred in my marriage.

 

[Marisa]

Like kirran mentioned by using the term obedient or rebellious one already assumes the man is superior or an authority figure.

I think a husband and wife should see each other as equals and treat each other with respect. There shouldn't be a 'power' struggle..a husband and wife are a team and should both compromise and try to make the other happy.
I don't think there's an issue with the wife cooking and cleaning and taking care of her husband..as long as she does it out of love and not fear.

The definition of obedient and rebellious depends on culture,society etc. So what I see as normal behaviour can be rebellious to you because we grew up and live in different societies.

But if you mean a disrespectful wife/husband.. Who doesn't take your words in consideration and who always wants you to be the one who compromises and doesn't care about your needs,dreams,opinions. Then I wouldn't advise you to be with her/him.

I like everything you said except the part about making each other happy. How is it that I should be responsible for someone else's happiness? I think it's better than each spouse is responsible for their own happiness, which I suspect you also agree with, because if I'm not happy with myself I can't expect to be able to make anyone else happy. So, each spouse should be "allowed" to follow their own dreams and goals, and so long as they grow together rather than apart, the marriage will only gain strength as the years pass.

 

[Godobeyer]

Um, I guess if she said she would be gone for a year I'd begin to wonder what was going on. If it was for a holiday, big deal. I'm quite able to take care of myself, so needing a live in servant is not necessary.

Of course that's that's normal .

I am talking about ambiguous reason , or doubt reason , or take a trip with her ex-friend or her new friend, how you would manage with that ?

I would hope she would wear whatever made her feel good.

so you had no problem that people staring and enjoy at your wife body ?

how about if you be with her , someone harassment her " hey you have beautiful "*****" "

what will be your reaction in that moment ?

You really don't get all this, do you?

No ,that why I am asking , and thanks for your answsers

but i guess that you don't get my point too .

 

[Godobeyer]

I'm friends with many of my ex-boyfriends. Does that automatically mean that I'm having sex with them?

I don't know , you tells



and your husband was agree that ?

 

[Marisa]

so you had no problem that people staring and enjoy at your wife body ?

Do you not grasp that you are making women responsible for something they'll never be able to control? Do you honestly think that if a women wears "non sexy" clothes that people who aren't you will not appreciate her body? How is that a woman's problem? YOU are responsible for your penis, pal, not your wife. If you can't keep it zipped in a woman's presence then YOU are the one who lacks self control. Why should your wife live under a rock because men in your culture aren't expected to exert control over their sexual responses? A woman should be able to enter your presence NAKED and not have any fear that you will sexually assault her. The fact that a woman wears clothes you arbitrarily deem "sexy" is not any sort of invitation to you to have sex with her. Grow up and behave like a mature and responsible adult, and start expecting the men in your culture to do the same thing.

 

[Marisa]

I don't know , you tells

That's none of your damn business.

and your husband was agree that ?

My husband doesn't assume that his role as my husband is to create the rules I live by. You do make that assumption.

 

[Sakeenah]

I like everything you said except the part about making each other happy. How is it that I should be responsible for someone else's happiness? I think it's better than each spouse is responsible for their own happiness, which I suspect you also agree with, because if I'm not happy with myself I can't expect to be able to make anyone else happy. So, each spouse should be "allowed" to follow their own dreams and goals, and so long as they grow together rather than apart, the marriage will only gain strength as the years pass.

I agree with you..I'm not really referring to depending on the other person to be the source of your hapiness. But I mean making them happy by doing things for them out of love

 

[Kirran]

I am talking about :
Could not be she is rebellious because she is powerful than her husband , or she is rebellious type with everyone ?.

could not be she is rebelious her husband is a kind gental man ?

Sorry Godobeyer, but I couldn't understand what you were trying to say here. Would you care to rephrase?

I am aware that English is your second language, and it's generally pretty good, which is very impressive. But in this particular case, I'm going to need you to say it in some other way so I can understand what you're saying to me.

 

[Politesse]

Now you get me !

it's run in path to adultery or cheating definition , it's just may a reason , i meant about rebellious is the way of treatement her husband and his family , which close to misrespect ,

No we are not on the same page at all. I don't are at all if she is "rebellious". That's not why I would have been upset. I'm not a government, or a god, or her father - we were partners. She couldn't rebel against me. But she could hurt me, and I her, because of our close bond. And I would be upset if she had, just as she would have had the right to be upset with me if I had been the one to break the bond. I understand we've got some cultural cross-talk going here, but I'd rather you understood that I never saw my wife as below me in any hierarchy. Nor would I have wanted to. She was golden, and caging her would have been like clipping the wings off a bird.

 

[Godobeyer]

That's none of your damn business.

sorry i don't mean be rude , that just was innocent question.

 

[Godobeyer]

]

Sorry Godobeyer, but I couldn't understand what you were trying to say here. Would you care to rephrase?

I am aware that English is your second language, and it's generally pretty good, which is very impressive. But in this particular case, I'm going to need you to say it in some other way so I can understand what you're saying to me.

English is my third language , after Arabic , French .

you said " wife could be rebellious because " her husband is powerful .

so it's in some cases wife could be rebellious , inspite that her husband is gental and kind man .

 

[Marisa]

sorry i don't mean be rude , that just was innocent question.

Thanks.

 

[Marisa]

@Godobeyer could you respond to my post #151 please?

 

[Godobeyer]

@Godobeyer could you respond to my post #151 please?

No problem .

Do you not grasp that you are making women responsible for something they'll never be able to control?

I will not force my wife to do something ,that she could not do.

Do you honestly think that if a women wears "non sexy" clothes that people who aren't you will not appreciate her body?

that's not condition , but if she wears sexy clothes , she may harassement boys or be haraseement .

How is that a woman's problem?

this is may debatable subject .
thats natural instinct problem .
so if she be more attractive by wearing sexy clothes, she may responsible for that reactions . and she may active the lusty of others .

YOU are responsible for your penis, pal, not your wife. If you can't keep it zipped in a woman's presence then YOU are the one who lacks self control.

I don't get this one

Why should your wife live under a rock because men in your culture aren't expected to exert control over their sexual responses?

i don't understand this too , but i guess you mean , that we abuse our wives sexual ?
how ?

A woman should be able to enter your presence NAKED and not have any fear that you will sexually assault her.

who assault her ? here may women whom assault us sexually

The fact that a woman wears clothes you arbitrarily deem "sexy" is not any sort of invitation to you to have sex with her. Grow up and behave like a mature and responsible adult, and start expecting the men in your culture to do the same thing.

seems there are many steortypes and exagerate about our women in West .